Huh...

Let me just start by saying that I'm rather glad that none of my close friends have this blog info. I mean this is such a catharsis for me. I reread all my other posts, all of them, and I was amazed by some of the poetic things I wrote. It amazed me (great poetry there, right?) that I could be so open. At times I wish someone could see it but then again I think that allowing people in would ruin the experience of writing for myself. I mean if I can't scribe from the soul then what point is there?

I want to make a note on some of my feelings right now, outside of the happy/excited-ness. I am in an in between mood. I can't decide if I am content. I want so much and yet I fear things. I fear no knowing what the future holds. I think that is part of the cause for my excitement. Josh recently questioned my extreme calendar obsession and I told him that I like to feel as if something is concrete. Which is so true. If I don't know what's going on I feel lost, adrift on a sea where I can see shore but I can't get myself there. I also know that some excitment comes from a lot of my choices being taken away from me dealing with prom. For two of them all I have to do is show up and look good and I'm set. Granted at one I know there will be definite after-partying but that's only some of the fun. I jst don't know much else besides times... I don't even know what I'm doing for my hair...and one day I'm doing it myself!!

This is done. For now I have nothing of worth left to say... I will LIVE PURE!!

Mabe I can show all this to my future husband...what would he say readingover these? They are sooo personal, but then again, shouldn't you be able to share anything with the man who you wed, your heart and soul?