Dreaming

Dreams. Interesting things really. I've always wondered if they mean something or if its a whole bunch of mumbo jumbo that some crazed psychologists have put together. Funny way of putting that: "crazed psychologists". Well in any case. I've been dreaming recently and though I wouldn't call them nightmares, they aren't exactly pleasant dreams either. So I will describe them here.

1st Dream ~ Last thursday
I was going to a church. I thnk it was for a baptism or something. One way once I got there I realized that I wasn't there for a baptism, I was there for my graduation. Paul was there but he was sullen about it. That wasn't the biggest concern, though. The biggest concern was I was dressed in red and black when I was supposed to be wearing white. So I had to go home really fast to change. Paul said he'd drive me. So the two of us, and a whole bunch of other people (one of whom happened to be a girl who lives in my hall, Betsy). all get in his car and drive away. For somereason though, as soon as we get within a mile of my house he stops and parks teh car. He said it would be faster if we walked, which makes no sense because tehre wasn't any traffic to slow us down. As soon as we get out of the car I'm engulfed in this feeling of panic and all I can think about is being late for graduation. We walk into this house (not mine) and there are people inside. Paul and Betsy want to meet them, despite me continually telling them we have to leave and that I'm going to be late. When we finally get out of the house we are running down the side of a road and I can just feel time whizzing by as we run instead of drive. I'm paniced and my heart is beating fast. Then I wake up.

2nd Dream ~ Last night
Paul and I are up at Tech for Carnival. We are walking around in this big building and everyone keeps looking at us. I havethis heavy feeling, like I'm going somewhere or about to do something thatI'm not completely comfortable with doing. All of aa suddeen I just "know" that after we get back to our bedroom Paul and I are going to have sex for the first time...and everyone knows. As soon as I'm aware of that fact I can seee that people keep looking at us and smiling. Like they know something we don't. I start to feel almost sick to my stomach. We get back to our bedroom (which happens to be my room at school), and there is a man there reading passages out of the Bible. The room is dim but there is a sort of sickly yellow light coming fromt eh man reading. Paul starts to kiss me and all I can think is:"I'm not ready, why are we doing this, why does everyone know?" His mouth is too hot, and it feels like I have a pool of near boiling water just sitting on my tongue. I feel trapped, and like I can't change a decision that I made before this instant. Then I wake up.

3rd Dream ~ Last night (after 2nd dream)
I'm at my house. For some reason I've been put in charge of finding players for our flag football intermural team. Unfortunately its coed and I can't find any men who would like to play. i'm rushing around, racing against time trying to find some men who would like to play. I finally manage to get three guys together and then I can't get anyone together to actually get going to the game. My friend Katie isn't motivated and the other girl on our team (Jodi Sweetin, Stephanie from Full House) is giving herself a french manicure. Like the first dream I'm completely frustrated and paniced about being late. My throat is tight and my heart is pounding. I finally get everyone outside the house and I realize we are at my house back home. My mom drives up to take us to the field and as we run down the stairs my neighobr, ROy who is about 6, come sprintin over to me. He holds up a yellow worm and starts screaming "Look Ery!! Look at my worm!!!" I tell him that I can't look right now and he tackles me so I will look at his worm. I look at it and then get in the car. My mom informs me that we'll be at the game in 5 minutes as long as the weather doesn't get bad. As soon as she stops talking the skies open up and starting pouring rain. Then I wake up.

I wish I knew what these meant.

Lots of Love
~*Ery*~