Opening

So i'm sitting here confused about my love life...love life...ha, that non-existent thing I keep building up in my head. Why do I do that to myself? I keep building this false hope on menial little things that don't matter. Why did I let that boy come into my heart? He hasn't even done anything to me and I feel broken, broken into little pieces that HE won't pick up for me. I'm angry and sad at the same time, I can't listen to love songs, I want to cry and scream at the same time, I want to lean into his arms and weep then hit him on the head. Why didn't he come? I feel jilted and I've only known him for 3 weeks! This isn't fair. Where are his feelings? How come I'm here in pain? Why won't he call back. I'm lonely but I'm too young to be lonely.
I feel unloved sometimes. My self-esteem has holes in it. I'm so sick of acting all the time. I'm not a strong person. I cry when I'm yelled at. I'm tired of being depended on for everything. When did I become perfect? I'm not God. I can't be everywhere nor do everything. I wish I could. I want to be SuperWoman. I want the world. I want to feel fulfilled with everything. Good grief I want a lot. What have I given?