Boats are Fuuuuuun!!

Well the boat trip yesterday was a blast. I was being a nervous worrywart for no reason. We all got along fine and I think brenden is a very nice guy. But I will tell the story form the beginning.

Well it would be wrong to leave out the fact that they were late getting over to this side of town so I was getting myself into such a tizzy waiting for them that I had to lay down and do some deep breathing exercises. They finally got here and I almost immediatly calmed down. THey had come in two cars. Jay and Brendan were in Jay's truck and Matt and his girlfriend Hillary were in her pickup. I rode in the backseat of Jay's truck and gave him directions back to the marina from my house. We got to the boat and Brenden started cooking lunch. I don't think I mentioned it earlier but he cooks in his dads resturant and is going to culinary school n the fll. I sat ou at the grill with him while Matta and Hillary got changed on the boat and Jay got gas for the jetski.

After we ate we got on the boat and headed off. Matt and Hilllary followed the boat with the jetski and we anchored out by this island. After they got to the boat Brendan and I took the jetski out and that was fun. (This is feeling so rote and bland...there will be feelings following the recitation of the events themselves.) Then the guys took the jetski out and went tubing. Hillary and I just sat in the sun and talked. It as great. WhenI first met her I expected her to be really stuck up and preissy but she wasn't. She loves to read and learn stuff and was genuinly a sweet girl. We were going to go tubing but after watching the guys get flung around we changed our minds and just sunbathed some more. A little later we went for dinner at this fancy expensive place on the water. Jackie joined us there and then we went back to the boat. We took a "midnight" (otherwise known as 9 pm) swim, well jumping off the bow and such. Then we came in and packed up the boat and came home.

Alright. That was probably the most boring thing ever. I don't know why but I hate admitting feelings to myself. It probablly has something to do with self protection. One of those if-I-don't-admit-it-it-isn't-true sort of deals. Anyway I guess I fill fill in some blanks here.

Okay as soon as I saw Brenden I remembered who he was...which is not a feeling, but it was calming. I can't deny that I still find Matt to have an attractive personality...but at the same time, I'm not attrated to him (yea points for me!!). I don't really know how I feel about Brendan. He's a really nice guy and stuff Im just not sure what I feel. He said he'd call me sometime this week though so maybe we'll hook up and do something just one-on-one which is a good way to figure out some of these feelings. Athough when we hugged (everybody hugged so its not like a huge deal) at the end of the night...it felt nice. We're the same height and stuff but he seems so much bigger and stronger than me. Mmmm thats a good thing. Control yourself chica. Heehee.

I don't know what else to say. Oh yeah spiders are icky. We found all these spiders by the bot and they were big and icky and Brenden was scared too and that made me happy for some reason. I'm in such a good mood!! Its glorious. I feel like everything is right. Everything is just falling into place by itself and its just happy and glowing. I think it has something to do with just letting go of control over my relationships and letting things happen.

By the way it took me two hours to right this...I was having serious writers block...as it is I'm not even satisfied with how it came out.

~*Ery*~