So I have this weird..I-wanna-get-some-randomness-off-my-chest feeling. And the only way I can figure out how to get these things off my chest is to just write them all out, prefaced by that cool little squiggley thing on the keyboard. Several things people should know about me and how I think that I am going to tell:
~Oy! Heehee I love that word. I got the title for this post from a Gilmore Girls episode that I watched last night. And I just want to say that it is a great phrase and everyone should use it to its full extent.
~And another thing people should use is the "I'm holding a thought motion" This is a very simple and discreet way of showing people that you have something to say and reminding yourself of it at the same time...all you have to do is touch your index finger to your thumb and then wave that had back and forth from the wrist. Now granted, this can become highly indiscreet if the hand is waved all over the place but if used correctly it will serve you well. Now go and be cool!
~I want people that don't know me to read my blog so that I can feel anonymous/
~I get nervous when people watch me exercise. I don't know why. Its really strange because, totally non-egotistically, I know that I don't look bad but I'm afraid of the watching eys.
~ I think that's it really. I don't like to know that I'm being watched. It makes me so nervous. I feel like someone is trying to stalk me and it creeps me out. (For instance Jeff kissed me once and then post kiss he was looking at me all lovey-eyes and I say: what are you looking at? When he said "you" I said: don't, it makes me nervous) That is weird folks.
~I don't have very original ideas, but I'm pretty good at taking other peoples and screwing with them so that they become more me - like.
Okay enough squiggles. This is just something that I noticed today while running. Okay for starters I had my eyes closed. No, I can't run blind, but all I was looking at were the lines on the track so they were just open a little slit. And I noticed that I hate looking up to see where I'm going on this circular track. Now, this could be some wacked out psycho schtuff but I was thinking, as I was running, that maybe its a sign of something. A sign that I don't want to look ahead in my life to see what's out there. But that sounds so far out in left field that its hard to believe it...but then again...it haunts me.
And then there is Jackie's bf, Joel. I promised a follow up on what was up with him. His best friend died on Tues. (I'm going to try my best here with the emotions but its hard, mine are kinda all over the place) Joel is 19 and Andrew was 22. 22! You don't die when you are 22 years old. That is just not supposed to happen. He died of 5 heartattacks. He was healthy by all accounts. A football player and the director of his church choir. And now he's dead. Its not right. I cried when Jackie told me how he died. And when she told me Joel saw the first of the five. But on that note. Joel had been acting, well, jerkish towards Jackie. And I know compassion, I should have compassion, but he was downright burly and ignored her at times. She wasn't asked to any of the services, which isn't a horrible thing, but she was willing to drop everything whenever he needed her. Yet, he still made her feel bad. That is so wrong. The whole situation is wrong and I hate it. I want it to just go away and resolve itself.
That said I just want the world to know that I said things against the relationship that I shouldn't have. And for that I'm sorry.
~*Ery*~
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4 comments:
~I must agree, oy is wicked fun to say, and can be used on many an occasion for no real apparent reason.
~"im holding a thought in motion." with the way you describe it, it seems like it could be that or else just your average italian talker lol. i can just see the big italian guy with the thick muctache kissing his fingers and goin "Molto bene!" after eating/making something spectacular.
~i LOVE when people read my blog that i dont know, but its even better when they comment,.. so i know they read it, plus i love to see whrn someone puts in their view on what i've said.
~i get nervous when people watch me. period. you're not all that strange to not like it only when you excersize, maybe you just feel like this is your time, your alone time, your time to better yourself and it has nothing to do with them so why are they watching?
~its not weird for you to not want Señor Jeff staring at you, so tell him to close his eyes, he'll get used to it.
~if you take someone else's idea and change it, it is no longer theirs. therefore, you DO have original ideas
btw i like running. i dont work out cuz im too lazy. maybe when my matabolism slows down and i actually gain weight, ill start workin out, but not now. anyways i love to put shoes on really really tight and sprint flat out until i cannot breath, my stomach hurts and i feel like dying, because while im running, its almost (ALMOST!) like flying which i desperately want to do.
i would comment on the whole death thing, but no one really likes my view on death, which is okay.
thats all i guess.
PeLoHa
JAMiN
sorry,.. gotta post again lol. i been reading a lot of your older posts and i have to ask.. do any of the people you talk about know about this? or do you just not care whether they know or not?
it seems like they might not be too happy about some of the things, but who knows.
PeLoHa
JAMiN
Jamin -- first of all: oops typo it was supposed to say "I'm holding a thought" motion. I don't know if that makes more or less sense but yeah. Ummm Senor (how in the world do you get the cool little accent?) Jeff and I are no longer together so ah well guess i'll neveer tell him to close his eyes and enjoy. I wished I love running like you do. THats how I feel about swimming but I can't find a pool nearby. And no, no one I know knows about this blog. They know I have one, and that its really personal, but not whats in it. I guess its just my way of releasing some tenison without hurting a firend. Most of the angry things I write are just spur of the moment. But I tried to explin beter in my latest blog.
Ery, i think its wicked cool you can keep something like this to yourself and strangers , but not your friends, its freeing and caging all at once and i love it for no other reason than the fact that its different.
the Señor thing with the fun Ñ is really easy. all you do it hold the Alt key and then press three numbers in a row and then let go of alt and you get somehting fun, the ñ one is 164 and just go up or down from there to get all the other schweet letters.
the "im holding a thought" motion mix up... how weird that i totally knew what you meant and made the same mistake just cuz it made sense that way.
ummm i guess thats it.
by the way is Ery your real name or is it short for something? or completely irrelevent to your name.
PeLoHa
JAMiN
p.s. you may not be with Jeff but im sure you're with someone or will be at some point, so you can tell them to close their eyes or take a picture lol, ooooo i liek taking pictures, its fun, especially of sunsets, i literally have like 200 pictures of sunsets on different days. whoa nelly im rambling like monkey business, it must be contagious
hasta pasta
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