Kay so this is the continuation of the post earlier today. Thats the list of things I didn't finish elaborating...I also made a promise to elaborate on Pat.
I haven't bought my books yet because I forgot my cash yesterday, I went to church, then I saw Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and it was really bad. That's it in a nutshell. Now to elaborate.
I haven't bought my books yet because I forgot my cash yesteday. Ummm well I went and bought hem todeay actually so that fact is now false. THe truth though is that the hill that I rode my bike up was awful...it just kept going and going. THen I got to ride down it, that was awesome.
I went to church and ummmm it wasn't that marevlous. The choir isn't really that great and doesn't do any full numbers because they don't have a full choir. I'll have to think about some stuff. Pat invited me to his church and he's Lutheran and I might, well I know I'm going but I don't know when or if I'll stay. I might even join the choir.
I saw hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and it was really bad. I read the books and this sucked. Thats all there is to that.
Pat. Ummm yeah. I like Pat. He's this guy I met through Cortney and we all hang out together (we being me Cortney Matt and Pat, Timnah comes with us but I don't think she really "gels" with them) But anyway, Pat is 6'10" and I just want to give him a huge hug. Hmmmm he's like this amazingly great guy. I just like to talk to him. He likes to listen to old Italian mafia music and irish stuff and he's in his church's chour an dit just makes me realy happy. We get along really well. Yeah well SO thats Pat.
~*Ery*~
Monday, August 29, 2005
First Day!!!!
Umm its 7:30 and I don't have class till 9 but we have to get up to shower first or esle we won't get in at all. THats ok though because if I start working out in the morning Io'l be doing it between 7 and 8. Then I could just shower at the PEIF instead of here. Yeah So I haven't updated and I really need to. Lets see.
I bought a bike, I went cliff jumping, I felt like a mountain goat, I saw my first college football game, our team sucks, I attempted to find a party, I stayed at Pat and Matt's dorm w/Cortney till 3:30 am, I haven't bought my books yet because I forgot my cash yesterday, I went to church, then I saw Hitchhiker's GUide to the Galaxy and it was really bad. That's it in a nutshell. Now to elaborate.
I bought a bike at Walmart because, despite knowing that they aren't nice to the little kids, its the cheapest place to buy stuff around here. I'm kinda far from civilization so I have to get stuff where I can. I'll pray for my immortal soul and their mortal bodies.
I went cliff jumping in a series of waterfalls. It ws so amazing. As soon as Pat sends me pictures I'll post them because its absolutely amazing. The cliff was maybe 15-20 ft up from the water and it was just gorgeous there. We had to hike into the woods a bit and then they just appeared, this chain of waterfalls. I can't describe it accurately but it was mind blowing.
I felt like a mountain goat because we were scrambling all over these huge rocks to get around and up the waterfalls. It was so neat becasue you just do it all barefoot so when your feet hit the ground it makes this little pitter pat noise and it was just so cool. I felt like the little mountain goats that frolic way up in the mountains. :)
I saw my first football game. I hate watching football. I just get bored because its such an ADD sport, I mean, they play for 10 secinds then they get set up for half a minute then play for 10 seconds. I can't get into it becaus ethey don't play long enough. ALthogh I do love cheering and making noise. Pat (who is my big tall buddy and I will talk about him later because I have to) tried to help me limp along and follow what was going on...but I'm pretty noninterested.
Our team sucks. And thats all there is. We just aren't very good so we left after the 3rd quarter.
I attempted to find a party...or four. Ok, so I don't drink and right now I really don't have a huge desire to do so. But I have nothing against going an watching everyone else do it. So I went with: TImnah, Emily, Cortney, Pat, Matt, Jamie, Danielle, and about 5 other people whose names I can't remember. But we walked all over the houses around campus and couldn't find anyplace that still had something to drink. I mean we went to three houses then to a frat house and no one had anything. So we gave up.
I stayed at Pat and Matt's dorm w/Cortney till 3:30 am. Wow that was a late night, I was soooo glad I didn't have to get up for church the next day. Because yeah after we gave up finding a party Everybody went their seperate ways. Emily and TImnah went back to West Hall while Cortney and I went down campus to Spalding to hang out with Pat, Matt and their suitemate, Dustin. We watched Anchorman (which in my opinion is a very dumb movie and not deserving of all the amzing-ness credit it was given, but thats just me). And talked. WE definitly almost just stayed the night because down campus is a little ways from West (otherwise known as home) eventualy I'll get a map on here to show the different buildings and stuff so its easier to understand. But we walked home. It was so pretty with the stars and everything. Just perfect.
I'll finish the rest of the update later, right now that should do...I have to go to class!!
~*Ery*~
I bought a bike, I went cliff jumping, I felt like a mountain goat, I saw my first college football game, our team sucks, I attempted to find a party, I stayed at Pat and Matt's dorm w/Cortney till 3:30 am, I haven't bought my books yet because I forgot my cash yesterday, I went to church, then I saw Hitchhiker's GUide to the Galaxy and it was really bad. That's it in a nutshell. Now to elaborate.
I bought a bike at Walmart because, despite knowing that they aren't nice to the little kids, its the cheapest place to buy stuff around here. I'm kinda far from civilization so I have to get stuff where I can. I'll pray for my immortal soul and their mortal bodies.
I went cliff jumping in a series of waterfalls. It ws so amazing. As soon as Pat sends me pictures I'll post them because its absolutely amazing. The cliff was maybe 15-20 ft up from the water and it was just gorgeous there. We had to hike into the woods a bit and then they just appeared, this chain of waterfalls. I can't describe it accurately but it was mind blowing.
I felt like a mountain goat because we were scrambling all over these huge rocks to get around and up the waterfalls. It was so neat becasue you just do it all barefoot so when your feet hit the ground it makes this little pitter pat noise and it was just so cool. I felt like the little mountain goats that frolic way up in the mountains. :)
I saw my first football game. I hate watching football. I just get bored because its such an ADD sport, I mean, they play for 10 secinds then they get set up for half a minute then play for 10 seconds. I can't get into it becaus ethey don't play long enough. ALthogh I do love cheering and making noise. Pat (who is my big tall buddy and I will talk about him later because I have to) tried to help me limp along and follow what was going on...but I'm pretty noninterested.
Our team sucks. And thats all there is. We just aren't very good so we left after the 3rd quarter.
I attempted to find a party...or four. Ok, so I don't drink and right now I really don't have a huge desire to do so. But I have nothing against going an watching everyone else do it. So I went with: TImnah, Emily, Cortney, Pat, Matt, Jamie, Danielle, and about 5 other people whose names I can't remember. But we walked all over the houses around campus and couldn't find anyplace that still had something to drink. I mean we went to three houses then to a frat house and no one had anything. So we gave up.
I stayed at Pat and Matt's dorm w/Cortney till 3:30 am. Wow that was a late night, I was soooo glad I didn't have to get up for church the next day. Because yeah after we gave up finding a party Everybody went their seperate ways. Emily and TImnah went back to West Hall while Cortney and I went down campus to Spalding to hang out with Pat, Matt and their suitemate, Dustin. We watched Anchorman (which in my opinion is a very dumb movie and not deserving of all the amzing-ness credit it was given, but thats just me). And talked. WE definitly almost just stayed the night because down campus is a little ways from West (otherwise known as home) eventualy I'll get a map on here to show the different buildings and stuff so its easier to understand. But we walked home. It was so pretty with the stars and everything. Just perfect.
I'll finish the rest of the update later, right now that should do...I have to go to class!!
~*Ery*~
Saturday, August 27, 2005
College life...The first two Nights
Wow college is...kinda boring so far. I seriously can't wait for classes to start so I can meet some more people. I need someone to argue with, and so far the people I've made friends with are really easy going on stuf like random arguements over nothing...That sounds strange. WHat I mean is, sometimes, during highschool, someone would seay something...like, I don't like pigs, and then we'd be like why? And back and forth we'd go, jjust getting more ridiculous until we all collapsed laughing. And so far everyone I've met is just like, oh you don't like pigs, thats cool. Blah. Get some debating going here people!
I'm sitting here in my room, which is half finished listening to my roommate softly snore. ARrrrgh. I like my roommate, I mean don't get my wrong I could have been placed with someone a lot worse, and we did pick each other, but sometimes I feel like I'm over her. THat sounds so bad. But its like, I was in higher math and english classes at school and now I just feel like we are on a different plane of knowledge. I just don't know. I lve to learn, and I want to know someone who likes to learn too. Timnah (da roomy) is also really judgemnetal sometimes. And I hate that so much in a person. FOr example, we went to this thing last night and there was karaoke. We both like to sing so we went in, and almost immediatly she truned around and said something like, I hate tone deaf people, I could listen to myself be tone deaf. ANd in my head I was just thinking, wow snap judgement, I don't think there is anything wrong with that. I mena jeez at least those people got up there. WE never even went back. ANd I don't know I just think sometimes she acts and says things before considering what other people migh think or feel. I mean personally I wouldn't want to be on her bad side because she'd be a major bitch to deal with, but thats just me. I don' tknow. Its gonna take some getting used to. I guess.
~*Ery*~
I'm sitting here in my room, which is half finished listening to my roommate softly snore. ARrrrgh. I like my roommate, I mean don't get my wrong I could have been placed with someone a lot worse, and we did pick each other, but sometimes I feel like I'm over her. THat sounds so bad. But its like, I was in higher math and english classes at school and now I just feel like we are on a different plane of knowledge. I just don't know. I lve to learn, and I want to know someone who likes to learn too. Timnah (da roomy) is also really judgemnetal sometimes. And I hate that so much in a person. FOr example, we went to this thing last night and there was karaoke. We both like to sing so we went in, and almost immediatly she truned around and said something like, I hate tone deaf people, I could listen to myself be tone deaf. ANd in my head I was just thinking, wow snap judgement, I don't think there is anything wrong with that. I mena jeez at least those people got up there. WE never even went back. ANd I don't know I just think sometimes she acts and says things before considering what other people migh think or feel. I mean personally I wouldn't want to be on her bad side because she'd be a major bitch to deal with, but thats just me. I don' tknow. Its gonna take some getting used to. I guess.
~*Ery*~
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
One Day Till the Move
So, I wonder if its a bad thing that I leave in one day, and I've yet to actually pack anything. As in the gigantic pile of stuff that isdesgnated for college has yet to find its way into anything that even resemples order. I mean I don't even know what I'm bringing by way of clothing. But I can do that tonight...I hope. I'm getting such a bad case of ADD. I just want to be there! Yea!
Although, I don't actually move in until the 25th. Its gonna be torture going to sleep on the 24th.
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Word of the Day: tyro \TY-roh\, noun: A beginner in learning; a novice.
Awww, I'm a college tyro! Yea! One day!
Although, I don't actually move in until the 25th. Its gonna be torture going to sleep on the 24th.
_____________________________________
Word of the Day: tyro \TY-roh\, noun: A beginner in learning; a novice.
Awww, I'm a college tyro! Yea! One day!
Monday, August 22, 2005
Love Counts
I figured out why I was so mixed up about the whole ... I can't start like this because I wasn't completly honest with myself or my blog. *Sigh* That's a sign, I guess, if I don't want to write it down then I definitly shouldn't be doing it. Ok. So at Mark's that night we had a "dance party". Well Jen (who I think planned this a little bit) and Meghan decided/asked if Mark would teach them how to give a lap dance. So we had lessons. And I was pronounced very good and a natural. A strange talent and compliment but I was a bit (ok, I lie, I was/am really) happy that I'm better than the two girls w/steady boyfriend's. And yeah we used Mark as our test subject and that was that. But I felt bad about it afterwards. And that was part of the bittersweet feeling of yesterday. But then I got myself furhter into trouble. I told Nancy, she found it amusing. But then I told Jay. And we had a strange conversation. Which ended in us deciding to give each other lap dances and going skinny dipping today when we go out for dinner. And now I'm in deep. Because I don't want to. Which is fine and Jay will totally understand (well not understand but he won't force it), I don't think he expected me to be so ok with it last night. But the thing is I couldn't figure out why I was so upset with the whole concept. I mean, I've been taught my whole life, throuogh my chrurch, that sex is saved for marriage. But I have no qualms about nudity (ok I have a few but underwater I'm ok) and the whole dancing thing can fall into the, "its okay as long as I'm in control of how far things go" box, but then I realized that it wasn't even the dancing and the nakedness that was getting to me. It was who I was doing it with. Not that I'm uncomfortable with Jay, in fact I'm clearly comfortable enough to discuss all of this with him, but the problem with doing this with him is that there is a lack of love. Not even a serious "I'm in love with you" type of love. More like there is nothing there besides a friendly affection for one another, like that of a brother and sister. Because I've come to the conclusion over the past 12 or so hours that each person that I've ever gone out with/made out with I have been a little bit in ove with. Just enough to the point that I have butterflies in my stomach. Some call that infatuation, and it is, and I guess thats what I'm getting at. THere is no infatuation between Jay and I. Had it been Brendan and he was like "hey lets give each other lap dances." I would have been a bit taken aback but I would have been a lot more okay with the whole thing. Less regrets and worries about how I would feel afterwards. WHich I guess is a good thing. I mean that I can recognize that I'm uncomfortable with something and then I dentify why. Always a good thing.
I called Jay, we had to confirm times anyway. And he (graciously I could have hugged him) asked if we were still going to "go down to the boat and do what we had planned" (thats what he said and I'm so glad tahts how he put it. And I was able to say no. I told him I'd explain later but he said I didn't have to, it was my decision. I will explain eventually, perhaps even copy some of this to him, but right now out loud, its hard for me to be open. I just know, deep down, that I'm doing the right thing by turning down this offer. Both for myself and for the friendship. Because no matter what he says, this would change the friendship. It would make it awkward, because it would always be this thing, hanging in our memories of that one time when...
SO I'm listing some clues that I should have recognized right away as reasons why I shouldn't do this:
1. From the get go I was unsure. I was hesitant and had to talk myself into saying ok.
2. We couldn't tell anyone. Because we knew that if they knew it would change their opnions of us. Ummm yeah, when you can't tell even your best firends, then something is wrong.
3. It was planned. These are not things you plan, they are spontaneous and fun. Not serious and ok-now-we're-gonna-do-this-then-this-then-this.
4. Related to 3 sort of. These are things you do when in a relationship with someone and its suprising and fun.
5. I both wanted to impress Jay but not at the same time. If I didn't then I'd be open to critque and judgement. But if I did then I'm subject to questions and assumptions about hw I really am inside. Its a comfusing cluse but its there.
Yeah so the moral of the story is: Love Counts. And be true to how you feel. THis was a test, and I believe I passed...but just barely.
__________________________________
Word of the Day: schadenfreude \SHOD-n-froy-duh\, noun: A malicious satisfaction obtained from the misfortunes of others
Umm this word freaking rocks. I think its German, no?
Yeah so I leave in 2 days. Eeeee! I don't know if I'm more or excited or nervous! And, are towels suppossed to shed like crazy the first time you wash them? Because I just washed all my towels for the first time (so they'll be clean of the manufacturing funk prior to use) and there was a whole bunch of fuzz left over from th espin cycle and whe we dried them the fuzz catcher was all coated with it. I'm curious if thats normal or if I bought faulty towels.
~*Ery*~
P.S. I feel sooooooooooooo muchbetter getting that all off my chest. *Happy sigh*
I called Jay, we had to confirm times anyway. And he (graciously I could have hugged him) asked if we were still going to "go down to the boat and do what we had planned" (thats what he said and I'm so glad tahts how he put it. And I was able to say no. I told him I'd explain later but he said I didn't have to, it was my decision. I will explain eventually, perhaps even copy some of this to him, but right now out loud, its hard for me to be open. I just know, deep down, that I'm doing the right thing by turning down this offer. Both for myself and for the friendship. Because no matter what he says, this would change the friendship. It would make it awkward, because it would always be this thing, hanging in our memories of that one time when...
SO I'm listing some clues that I should have recognized right away as reasons why I shouldn't do this:
1. From the get go I was unsure. I was hesitant and had to talk myself into saying ok.
2. We couldn't tell anyone. Because we knew that if they knew it would change their opnions of us. Ummm yeah, when you can't tell even your best firends, then something is wrong.
3. It was planned. These are not things you plan, they are spontaneous and fun. Not serious and ok-now-we're-gonna-do-this-then-this-then-this.
4. Related to 3 sort of. These are things you do when in a relationship with someone and its suprising and fun.
5. I both wanted to impress Jay but not at the same time. If I didn't then I'd be open to critque and judgement. But if I did then I'm subject to questions and assumptions about hw I really am inside. Its a comfusing cluse but its there.
Yeah so the moral of the story is: Love Counts. And be true to how you feel. THis was a test, and I believe I passed...but just barely.
__________________________________
Word of the Day: schadenfreude \SHOD-n-froy-duh\, noun: A malicious satisfaction obtained from the misfortunes of others
Umm this word freaking rocks. I think its German, no?
Yeah so I leave in 2 days. Eeeee! I don't know if I'm more or excited or nervous! And, are towels suppossed to shed like crazy the first time you wash them? Because I just washed all my towels for the first time (so they'll be clean of the manufacturing funk prior to use) and there was a whole bunch of fuzz left over from th espin cycle and whe we dried them the fuzz catcher was all coated with it. I'm curious if thats normal or if I bought faulty towels.
~*Ery*~
P.S. I feel sooooooooooooo muchbetter getting that all off my chest. *Happy sigh*
Sunday, August 21, 2005
The Day After
Hmmm So yesterday was bittersweet, like dark chocolate. As I menioned last night we went to the club. Which was cool. I love going dancing and I had a marvelous time. But after that things sort of left a bad aftertaste. WE went to Mark's to stay and that felt wrong. So wrong. I know now, hindsight is always 20/20, that I could have gone to Mark's and styed till 3 or so and then had my mom or dad coe get me. But no, I folded to peer pressure and this want that I hate, to "see what its all about". I don't even know exactly what it is that I wan to experience, bt I feel like I missed somthing in highschool. I'm not sure what but I think its some sterotypical party/boyfriend thing. Because truthfuly I never had a true experience with either and I feel somehow less prepared and less mature going into this new experience.
Today, a thought came into my head to describe what I believe I'm feeling a lot of the time. Budding sexuality. I'm finding how I feel and what I want in a relationship. And I have found that I don't realy know. I want to be held and caressed in that way that lovers have...but then I want to be hugged. Like a big bear hug and be able to just rest my head on his shoulder. I want to be comfortable enough with myself and him to truly let loose. To be able to say this is what I want and watch I can do this, and blah. I'm in a poo-y mood. I'm tired and sad and I'm leaving soon.
I've been avoiding this topic for a long time. But I'm leaving in two days and I don't know what I'm gonna do. Everyone I talk to seems so ready and excited and happy. And I'm that but I'm also so scared. No one that I've talked to is in anywhere near the same boat as me. I'm going 8hrs (on a good day) away to a school where I don't know anyone and I'm going to be all alone in this new environment. I can't come home on weekends or for Labor Day. As it is I don't know if I'm coming home for Thanksgiving. And that scares me. I said good-bye to four of my best friends in the past week. I've known Jen since preschool, Dana since 5th grade and Nancy and Jackie since 9th grade. I don't know what I'm gonna do without them. Adn thats where I am.
__________________________________________
Now word of today. I don't feel very learning inclined.
~*Ery*~
Today, a thought came into my head to describe what I believe I'm feeling a lot of the time. Budding sexuality. I'm finding how I feel and what I want in a relationship. And I have found that I don't realy know. I want to be held and caressed in that way that lovers have...but then I want to be hugged. Like a big bear hug and be able to just rest my head on his shoulder. I want to be comfortable enough with myself and him to truly let loose. To be able to say this is what I want and watch I can do this, and blah. I'm in a poo-y mood. I'm tired and sad and I'm leaving soon.
I've been avoiding this topic for a long time. But I'm leaving in two days and I don't know what I'm gonna do. Everyone I talk to seems so ready and excited and happy. And I'm that but I'm also so scared. No one that I've talked to is in anywhere near the same boat as me. I'm going 8hrs (on a good day) away to a school where I don't know anyone and I'm going to be all alone in this new environment. I can't come home on weekends or for Labor Day. As it is I don't know if I'm coming home for Thanksgiving. And that scares me. I said good-bye to four of my best friends in the past week. I've known Jen since preschool, Dana since 5th grade and Nancy and Jackie since 9th grade. I don't know what I'm gonna do without them. Adn thats where I am.
__________________________________________
Now word of today. I don't feel very learning inclined.
~*Ery*~
Club Night!
Went to Emerald tonight!! We (Jen, Meghan, Sam, and Alison) danced and had such a fun time. Right now we're at Mark's house. We dedcided to stay the night here, I'm not sure why, because Jen's Mom was cool with us staying at their house but whatever. Although, I'm worried because for the first time ever I lied to my parents about where I am. They think I'm at Jen''s since I couldn't tell them that we were at Mark's because they don't know him at all. Oh well. I leave in 3 days for school!! Yeaa!
We're gonna have a dance party now. In Mark's room. Its weird. Mr on how that goes tomorrow.
Yeah, I think my legs are gonna fall off. The guy I danced with at the club wanted to dance all slow and low to the ground, which was seductive as all hell but it was also really taxing on my legs. They are causing me pain, and they are gonna kill later on. I've gotta call Jay tomorrow, I should be able to go to his boat, because its on this side of town. I have to thank him for giving me more confidence in what I can do on the dance floor. I was all uninhibited and loose. I loooooooove going out dancing. I can be a slut if I want on the floor and then go home, take off my makeup, and go to church the next day without regrets. YEA!
~*Ery*~
We're gonna have a dance party now. In Mark's room. Its weird. Mr on how that goes tomorrow.
Yeah, I think my legs are gonna fall off. The guy I danced with at the club wanted to dance all slow and low to the ground, which was seductive as all hell but it was also really taxing on my legs. They are causing me pain, and they are gonna kill later on. I've gotta call Jay tomorrow, I should be able to go to his boat, because its on this side of town. I have to thank him for giving me more confidence in what I can do on the dance floor. I was all uninhibited and loose. I loooooooove going out dancing. I can be a slut if I want on the floor and then go home, take off my makeup, and go to church the next day without regrets. YEA!
~*Ery*~
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
I'm the Word of the Day... :\
So I think I should comment on why I called Brendan a stupid head. Because prior to that post all sounds good. And thought it was. But then..there was a weekend. And something happened then. I don't know what becuse I haven't talked to him yet. And we were supposed to have a date on Monday. Thats right I last talked to him on Friday. Its now wed. and I got stood up on monday. So yeah I called him on Monday around 6 to see if we were still going out and his phone rang once and then went to voicemail. Which I have to say seems suspicious, if only because thats what happens when you hit the ignore button. Which is only worrisome because I want to know why there would be a reason for him to ignore my call, especially if we had sometng scheduled, yes it was a very general planning but still. I don't know. Nancy said that if he was out with a nother girl I couldn't really be mad since we aren't really exclusive, but I really just want to know what's going on. Ah well. I guess I'll have to cal him and find out. Its annoying. I don't even want to date him. I have finally come to the conclusion that I really just want to use him for that thrill that I get when we kiss. And its funny because Mike was saying something to Romney yesterday about Nancy and I leaving soonand wanting to hook up with as many people as ppossible before we leave...and I was suprised to realize that it was sorta true. Not tatI would jump anyone with a a penis, but I'm really not being terribly selective rigt now. So, hmmm. I don't know.
On a semi related topic I talked to Jeff today about the Axe commercials. The one I really like had these three different girls on three differnt floos pole dancing on this pipe and on the top floor is this guy showering with Axe soap. And I love that commercial. One of the girls is totally upside down and I want to be her. How cool. Jeff hates the commercial but I insisted that if I met a guy who was wearing Axe there would be some sitting close and flirting going on, because that stuff is awesome. Hmmmm I looooove when a guy smells really good.
Devynn and I had a sisterly talk about drinking today. It was nice I warned her against straight up vodka and told her she could always talk to me if she didn't want to talk to our parents. Because I know how hard it can be to be honest with them. Even thugh they are really easy going about the whole thing. Its hard to ruin an image they might have about you. But yeah that was nice.
___________________________________
Word of the Day: dilatory \DIL-uh-tor-ee\, adjective: 1. Tending to put off what ought to be done at once; given to procrastination. 2. Marked by procrastination or delay; intended to cause delay; -- said of actions or measures.
Hmmm I read this while I was "taking a break" from the office work that I so rarely have to do. I took it as a sign that I should probably not be reading my emails and get back to work...so I did.
~*Ery*~
On a semi related topic I talked to Jeff today about the Axe commercials. The one I really like had these three different girls on three differnt floos pole dancing on this pipe and on the top floor is this guy showering with Axe soap. And I love that commercial. One of the girls is totally upside down and I want to be her. How cool. Jeff hates the commercial but I insisted that if I met a guy who was wearing Axe there would be some sitting close and flirting going on, because that stuff is awesome. Hmmmm I looooove when a guy smells really good.
Devynn and I had a sisterly talk about drinking today. It was nice I warned her against straight up vodka and told her she could always talk to me if she didn't want to talk to our parents. Because I know how hard it can be to be honest with them. Even thugh they are really easy going about the whole thing. Its hard to ruin an image they might have about you. But yeah that was nice.
___________________________________
Word of the Day: dilatory \DIL-uh-tor-ee\, adjective: 1. Tending to put off what ought to be done at once; given to procrastination. 2. Marked by procrastination or delay; intended to cause delay; -- said of actions or measures.
Hmmm I read this while I was "taking a break" from the office work that I so rarely have to do. I took it as a sign that I should probably not be reading my emails and get back to work...so I did.
~*Ery*~
Words of the Days
This is going to take forever and a day to copy + paste...blah.
Word of the Day for Sunday August 14, 2005: pari passu PAIR-ih-PASS-oo\, adverb: At an equal pace or rate.
Okay I really really like this one. No idea where it came from (entomology rocks {that better be the one about wors not bugs...athought he bugs are pretty cool}) but this is one cool word. I wish I could remember it the next time it fits into normal conversation
Word of the Day for Monday August 15, 2005: enmity \EN-mih-tee\, noun: Hatred; ill will; hostile or unfriendly disposition
Darn those grumpy foks, spreadin' around enmity to others. They should all just go home alone.
Word of the Day for Tuesday August 16, 2005: numinous \NOO-min-uhs; NYOO-\, adjective:
1. Of or pertaining to a numen; supernatural.
2. Indicating or suggesting the presence of a god; divine; holy.
3. Inspiring awe and reverence; spiritual.
This word is the coolest one yet. Okay maybe not because I kinda don't know when I'll be able to use it but dude, it sounds like luminous...and I really like that word.
Well there are the three (not 5) words of the day I missed. Sorry I guess I wa justto busy for vocabulary improving...heehee I have 60 words saved in my email now. How cool is that?
~*Ery*~
Word of the Day for Sunday August 14, 2005: pari passu PAIR-ih-PASS-oo\, adverb: At an equal pace or rate.
Okay I really really like this one. No idea where it came from (entomology rocks {that better be the one about wors not bugs...athought he bugs are pretty cool}) but this is one cool word. I wish I could remember it the next time it fits into normal conversation
Word of the Day for Monday August 15, 2005: enmity \EN-mih-tee\, noun: Hatred; ill will; hostile or unfriendly disposition
Darn those grumpy foks, spreadin' around enmity to others. They should all just go home alone.
Word of the Day for Tuesday August 16, 2005: numinous \NOO-min-uhs; NYOO-\, adjective:
1. Of or pertaining to a numen; supernatural.
2. Indicating or suggesting the presence of a god; divine; holy.
3. Inspiring awe and reverence; spiritual.
This word is the coolest one yet. Okay maybe not because I kinda don't know when I'll be able to use it but dude, it sounds like luminous...and I really like that word.
Well there are the three (not 5) words of the day I missed. Sorry I guess I wa justto busy for vocabulary improving...heehee I have 60 words saved in my email now. How cool is that?
~*Ery*~
Mike's
Hee hee my title is like some cool little local restaurant where you go to experience local color. Anyway. Nancy Jen and I hung out today. That never happens. But it was cool because we went to Mike's house and hung out with everybody and I think Nancy understand a little bit better when I tell her stuff about them and what goes down. But to start at the very beginning (sing with me, "a very good place to start").
So when Nancy got to my house Jen and I were trying to get rid of this random bee's nest on my front porch chair. I don't know why its there and no one noticed it, but it is and we were trying to eliminate it with OFF and flyswatters...so not the proper way of killing bees. After we killed one (this is after much screaming and running down the steps to avoid any angry swarms) I decided that the wis ething to do would be to call my dad, you know the ex-exterminator, and tell him about it so he could take care of it. The first thing he said was leave it alone...ok well we already shot that direction to hell but we could abide with it for a little while longer. So Nancy finally gets there and we go to Rite-Aid. Partly because Jen needed Sour Straws (we are conniseurs, sp?) and partly because Rite-Aid is 24 hrs and we would go there to kill time.
Then we went to Mike's house and met up with Mullet, Amber (who are finally going out and it makes my day because its about time and they are so cute together), Romney (shit he still gives me frickin buterflies and I want to shoot myself in the head but more on that later), Mike (duh) and Spencer. We got there and I gave Nancy the fastest tour ever....living room, dining room, Mike's room, Vince's room, bathroom, kitchen, basement... some of this was as we walked into the room and some was just pointing. We go to the basement chill there for a while then leave to go downtown. Why? There is nothing to there...but its something to do and its close enough to walk which is always fun so we take off. And its me, Nancy, Mike, Mullet, Spencer, and Romney. Jen decided to drive and so its us 6 and then 7 when Jimmy joins us (he got a tatoo of our state on his arm which is weird but really cool. Jimmy is my bud..I love him to death). So we walk downtown and yeah. Then we sit at he gazebo/fountain thing for awhile, decide we're thirsty but can't get into the bars because we are all too young to buy anything anyways and go to Tim Hortens. We get stuff. Then its off to Rite-Aid again. This time I really don't know why we went because Nancy, Jimmy, and I didn't even leave the car. But yeah thats where we were. And then its back to Mike's house to be in the basement until 1am when his mom kicked everyone out. Which was ok since I had to get home soon anyway.
That sounds so nice and boring. But it wasn't. Those are some of my favorite nights, when we all just hang out at Mike's and stuff because now that The Guys are nice to us they are really quite funny, vulgar (and they make me mildly vulgar, or rather I can say what's on my mind I think. Becuase sometimes I hold back because I don't want people to peg me as a certain way, but with them I know that *a. they won't think too far into what I say and *b.they know that I'm not a foul mouthed slut so its okay and I get some swearing out around them and don't feel bad.) but funny. I mean we all just chill and squeeze onto Mike's one basement couch and around all the crap that is in the little room we have to sit in and just talk and laugh. I'm gonna miss The Guys. I never thought I'd say that but I'm gonna miss them. Awwww.
Now to that "Romney gives me butterflies" crap. Ok I believe in some past post I mentioned that I regret letting Romney go. And I still do but its just annoying at the moment because when I hear he is going to be somewhere I get all happy and yea he's gonna be there and blah. Its dumb because now I know that he smokes and does other stupid things that I don't want anything to do with, but he's so...I don't know. We get along really well and lets just leave it at I already know that the chemistry's there. Like, today, we were all on Mike's couch and it was Jen Mike Nancy me Romney Mullet. Yeah I was totally excited to be all squished with him. Except now I'm like...what do I do with my arms, because I can't look like I'm afraid of him, or avoiding him but I also can't look like I want to get with him (not that it matters since everyone knows that I already did and I can't get away from the jokes and the disbelief...alright, I kinda like that I made out with some random guy and now they make fun of me but still). So I decided to put my right arm out straight on top of my leg and then cross my left arm over and hold my right elbow...thus sending an open but not encouraging stance. And he's right there. And I wanted to rest my head on his shoulder because it was there and arrrrgh I am just arrrgh having trouble expressing this! Stupid stupid. So then all of a sudden his hand is near where my left one is. And the fingers of our hands are touching. And then he taps my fingers, just lightly, no one else saw...but seriously, give me a second alone with him and I would have encouraged something. I don't know waht...a tap bac, the head on the shoulder. a smouldering look, I don't know just encouraged. Not good. Although, maybe thats just what I need right now. Some random play to get my mind off stupid head Brendan who hasn't called me back. Different story. Anyway the point is that I want to explore those feelings for Romney and I can't because I panicked and messed it all up. Damn regrets. I hate them. Oh do I ever hate them.
Words of the day in the post to follow since there are like 5.
~*Ery*~
P.S. I swear the pink on the Romney bit has nothing to do with affection's color or anything, it just happened that way, honest. I rolled my eyes whe I saw it.
So when Nancy got to my house Jen and I were trying to get rid of this random bee's nest on my front porch chair. I don't know why its there and no one noticed it, but it is and we were trying to eliminate it with OFF and flyswatters...so not the proper way of killing bees. After we killed one (this is after much screaming and running down the steps to avoid any angry swarms) I decided that the wis ething to do would be to call my dad, you know the ex-exterminator, and tell him about it so he could take care of it. The first thing he said was leave it alone...ok well we already shot that direction to hell but we could abide with it for a little while longer. So Nancy finally gets there and we go to Rite-Aid. Partly because Jen needed Sour Straws (we are conniseurs, sp?) and partly because Rite-Aid is 24 hrs and we would go there to kill time.
Then we went to Mike's house and met up with Mullet, Amber (who are finally going out and it makes my day because its about time and they are so cute together), Romney (shit he still gives me frickin buterflies and I want to shoot myself in the head but more on that later), Mike (duh) and Spencer. We got there and I gave Nancy the fastest tour ever....living room, dining room, Mike's room, Vince's room, bathroom, kitchen, basement... some of this was as we walked into the room and some was just pointing. We go to the basement chill there for a while then leave to go downtown. Why? There is nothing to there...but its something to do and its close enough to walk which is always fun so we take off. And its me, Nancy, Mike, Mullet, Spencer, and Romney. Jen decided to drive and so its us 6 and then 7 when Jimmy joins us (he got a tatoo of our state on his arm which is weird but really cool. Jimmy is my bud..I love him to death). So we walk downtown and yeah. Then we sit at he gazebo/fountain thing for awhile, decide we're thirsty but can't get into the bars because we are all too young to buy anything anyways and go to Tim Hortens. We get stuff. Then its off to Rite-Aid again. This time I really don't know why we went because Nancy, Jimmy, and I didn't even leave the car. But yeah thats where we were. And then its back to Mike's house to be in the basement until 1am when his mom kicked everyone out. Which was ok since I had to get home soon anyway.
That sounds so nice and boring. But it wasn't. Those are some of my favorite nights, when we all just hang out at Mike's and stuff because now that The Guys are nice to us they are really quite funny, vulgar (and they make me mildly vulgar, or rather I can say what's on my mind I think. Becuase sometimes I hold back because I don't want people to peg me as a certain way, but with them I know that *a. they won't think too far into what I say and *b.they know that I'm not a foul mouthed slut so its okay and I get some swearing out around them and don't feel bad.) but funny. I mean we all just chill and squeeze onto Mike's one basement couch and around all the crap that is in the little room we have to sit in and just talk and laugh. I'm gonna miss The Guys. I never thought I'd say that but I'm gonna miss them. Awwww.
Now to that "Romney gives me butterflies" crap. Ok I believe in some past post I mentioned that I regret letting Romney go. And I still do but its just annoying at the moment because when I hear he is going to be somewhere I get all happy and yea he's gonna be there and blah. Its dumb because now I know that he smokes and does other stupid things that I don't want anything to do with, but he's so...I don't know. We get along really well and lets just leave it at I already know that the chemistry's there. Like, today, we were all on Mike's couch and it was Jen Mike Nancy me Romney Mullet. Yeah I was totally excited to be all squished with him. Except now I'm like...what do I do with my arms, because I can't look like I'm afraid of him, or avoiding him but I also can't look like I want to get with him (not that it matters since everyone knows that I already did and I can't get away from the jokes and the disbelief...alright, I kinda like that I made out with some random guy and now they make fun of me but still). So I decided to put my right arm out straight on top of my leg and then cross my left arm over and hold my right elbow...thus sending an open but not encouraging stance. And he's right there. And I wanted to rest my head on his shoulder because it was there and arrrrgh I am just arrrgh having trouble expressing this! Stupid stupid. So then all of a sudden his hand is near where my left one is. And the fingers of our hands are touching. And then he taps my fingers, just lightly, no one else saw...but seriously, give me a second alone with him and I would have encouraged something. I don't know waht...a tap bac, the head on the shoulder. a smouldering look, I don't know just encouraged. Not good. Although, maybe thats just what I need right now. Some random play to get my mind off stupid head Brendan who hasn't called me back. Different story. Anyway the point is that I want to explore those feelings for Romney and I can't because I panicked and messed it all up. Damn regrets. I hate them. Oh do I ever hate them.
Words of the day in the post to follow since there are like 5.
~*Ery*~
P.S. I swear the pink on the Romney bit has nothing to do with affection's color or anything, it just happened that way, honest. I rolled my eyes whe I saw it.
Sunday, August 14, 2005
Bonfire Muses
So I've decided on the appropriate orange to depict the bonfire story. At Elisabeth's house. Or farm I should say. It was an amazing night. These bonfires just make everything seem so, laid back. We start out eating and then talking. And talking, and talking and talking. Since its an understood that anyone is welcome to spend the night without worrying about getting in trouble because of excessive partying (a complete lack of alcohol solves that problem) everyone is free to take their time and trully relax.
I noticed something yesterday, though. Fire, a simple thing really, is an absolutly amazing force of nature. I have yet to think of anything that has facsinated MAN for as long as fire has. We used fire as early cave people, thousands and thousands of years ago, and yet when we lit the fie last night everyone stopped to watch. Everyone. If you were inside you came out, and if you were outside you got as close s possible before it got to hot. This gigantic pyre rose up and made at least 30 people stop. Just stop everything they were doing for half on hour so they could stand near each otehr and marvel at he size, heat, and beauty of the fire. Nothing else in this world, that I know has this power over people. Not even the great reaches of space. Is it the destructive perfection that captivates us? Or is it something that we can't describe, even in our momentsof complete lucidity? I can't decide. But I do know that fire is amazing, and I'm glad that if anything will always make me stop and stare...something so perfect, beautiful, and destructive is that thing.
Ok. We sing at these bonfres. Always. It usually happens around midnight and lasts for several hours. Its absolutely amazig. We all gaher around a piano and Cat plays her violin and anyone who wants to play anything else does, and then we sing. We sing showtunes, and popular oldies, and just about anything, for about 2 hrs. and its so relieveing. Relieving to know that everyone there has the same feelings about music as I do. For almost everyone there music is more than just a nice sound, its a mode of expression and it is so powerful. I love music. Soothes the savage beast they say. It also provides an outlet for whateve I'm feeling. *Sigh*
After singing we all just sat in the living room and talked. Aboot whatever came to mind. We tell stories and laugh and basically just, enjoy one anothers company. After talking for oh say 4 hours, the sun rises and we realize that we talked all night (as is usually the assumption of what will happen) and we decide to go to an early morning mass. This has to be one of my favorite masses of the entire year. We've stayed up all night getting to know each other and now we are sharing this gathering of God's people, as His children and its heartwarming. After that its breakfast time and then back to Elisabeth's house for a half hour doze before going home to sleep at 10am. Thus putting me at a whopping 23 hrs of no sleep. A personal record...I'm so proud. As Elisabeth's mom said when she left us at 3..."Oh the wonders of youth"
So I have to thank Sam for this. He insists it was just boredom...but it fits the phrase, "turn my black roses red?" perfectly. And that makes me happy. Hmmm mmmmm mmm I'm in a good, albeit slightly sleepy, mood.
_______________________________
Word of the Day: fus-ty : adj 1.)Saturated with dust and stale odors. Musty.
Hmmm, this sounds like a made up word. Granted I didn't get it from t same source as usual but its a word. I don't like it.
~*Ery*~
I noticed something yesterday, though. Fire, a simple thing really, is an absolutly amazing force of nature. I have yet to think of anything that has facsinated MAN for as long as fire has. We used fire as early cave people, thousands and thousands of years ago, and yet when we lit the fie last night everyone stopped to watch. Everyone. If you were inside you came out, and if you were outside you got as close s possible before it got to hot. This gigantic pyre rose up and made at least 30 people stop. Just stop everything they were doing for half on hour so they could stand near each otehr and marvel at he size, heat, and beauty of the fire. Nothing else in this world, that I know has this power over people. Not even the great reaches of space. Is it the destructive perfection that captivates us? Or is it something that we can't describe, even in our momentsof complete lucidity? I can't decide. But I do know that fire is amazing, and I'm glad that if anything will always make me stop and stare...something so perfect, beautiful, and destructive is that thing.
Ok. We sing at these bonfres. Always. It usually happens around midnight and lasts for several hours. Its absolutely amazig. We all gaher around a piano and Cat plays her violin and anyone who wants to play anything else does, and then we sing. We sing showtunes, and popular oldies, and just about anything, for about 2 hrs. and its so relieveing. Relieving to know that everyone there has the same feelings about music as I do. For almost everyone there music is more than just a nice sound, its a mode of expression and it is so powerful. I love music. Soothes the savage beast they say. It also provides an outlet for whateve I'm feeling. *Sigh*
After singing we all just sat in the living room and talked. Aboot whatever came to mind. We tell stories and laugh and basically just, enjoy one anothers company. After talking for oh say 4 hours, the sun rises and we realize that we talked all night (as is usually the assumption of what will happen) and we decide to go to an early morning mass. This has to be one of my favorite masses of the entire year. We've stayed up all night getting to know each other and now we are sharing this gathering of God's people, as His children and its heartwarming. After that its breakfast time and then back to Elisabeth's house for a half hour doze before going home to sleep at 10am. Thus putting me at a whopping 23 hrs of no sleep. A personal record...I'm so proud. As Elisabeth's mom said when she left us at 3..."Oh the wonders of youth"
So I have to thank Sam for this. He insists it was just boredom...but it fits the phrase, "turn my black roses red?" perfectly. And that makes me happy. Hmmm mmmmm mmm I'm in a good, albeit slightly sleepy, mood.
_______________________________
Word of the Day: fus-ty : adj 1.)Saturated with dust and stale odors. Musty.
Hmmm, this sounds like a made up word. Granted I didn't get it from t same source as usual but its a word. I don't like it.
~*Ery*~
Friday, August 12, 2005
Went and saw "Skeleton Key" with Rachel, Sandy ,Ray and Samantha. They are...so interesting. I mean, I love them to death, and I can be a big goofball, but sometimes I want to just ht them on the heads for the stuff they do. Just sily things, that you learn about as you get older, an dI know that its only 2 years, but sometimes its a big divide. I mean Rachel is the same age s my little sister. Thats odd, especially since I don't hang out with her friends, but I hang out with Rachel? It doesn't make a lot of sense. But then again, we are getting to that point in our lives, wher ea few years doesn't mean that much between friends. I guess I'll just have to wait for them to grow up a little bit.
Hmmm gonna go call Brendan now...was supposed to do that at least by Tues or Wed., stupid stupid Ery. Gotta show some interest. But to go do the calling...At least I'm pretty sure to get the answering machine. If not well then oh well.
____________________________________
Word of the Day: ubiquitous \yoo-BIK-wih-tuhs\, adjective: Existing or being everywhere, or in all places, at the same time.
Does that mean God is ubiquitous? I've always heard omnipresent or omnipotent...but this kind of means the same thing...right?
~*Ery*~
Hmmm gonna go call Brendan now...was supposed to do that at least by Tues or Wed., stupid stupid Ery. Gotta show some interest. But to go do the calling...At least I'm pretty sure to get the answering machine. If not well then oh well.
____________________________________
Word of the Day: ubiquitous \yoo-BIK-wih-tuhs\, adjective: Existing or being everywhere, or in all places, at the same time.
Does that mean God is ubiquitous? I've always heard omnipresent or omnipotent...but this kind of means the same thing...right?
~*Ery*~
Thursday, August 11, 2005
Shock and Dismay
Blah. I'm tired and stiff. I hate sleeping in other people's beds using their pillows, I always sleep so poorly. Yeah I spent the night at Jackie F's and now I'm in a tired blah mood. I'm forcing myself to write this because if I didn't I 'd have all kinds of thoughts running through my head and my head would be on the desk sleeping. Not such a good idea.
Blah. So Dar and Jennifer decided (finally) to start fixing up the office, and let me just say that I'm so glad to be leaving it. They changed the chair. Now granted it was a crappy chair that was losing its stuffing but it had armrests and I liked it. Now we've got this no armrests chair that goes up and down (a feature that I would normally love, but today I miss my chair.) I wonder what they did with it, because if its just gonna get thrown out then I wanna take it to school with me...heck I'd take this chair since anything is better than the hard wooden ones they give us. Except the floor, the floor would rate below hard wooden chairs. They also gave everything a designated place...which is nice and all but I have to turn in a complete circle to get to the hole puncha dn then turn allthe way back with it so I can use it on the file tht is laid out in the only blank desk space large enough for a spread file. If it was up to me I would put the stuff we need for the file arranging next to the area designated for file arranging...but thats just me. Arrrgh I also think that its some of my lazy type organization that dislikes all the order and the this-goes-in-this-specific-place-always type thing thats getting to me. Too much organization of objects makes me antsy.
Blah. I bit off two of my longest nails in the space of twenty minutes. Ithen picked all the nail polish off of the bits I bit off and then chewed on them. That sounds really gross, and it is but I need something to do with my mouth, I need to eat, or talk, or sing, or something. The silence in this office is disturbing my peace of mind. ATHe only sounds I hear all day are typing noises and printing noises and sneezing (because we are obviously passing around the same stale germs through this office.) and a little bit of talking, but not much because we need to work. Grump grump grump.
Blah. I still need to call Brendan. I'm scared. Which is stupid. What's even more stupid is that I'm not afraid of the phone or of him or societies feelings about women calling men, oh no, I'm scared that he's going to answer his phone. And I'm not going to have anything to say. It makes me so mad, because I really don't have anything to say to him. But the one thing I want to say I couldn't in a million years say. Because what I want to say shows how I really think of him (as a casual summer thing that will end in two weeks, but makes for some fun evenings) and it makes me out to me more adventurous and willing than I really am. I want to tell him that I was upset that he got called into work on Monday because it meant that we couldn't make out and that all I got was a quick hug and kiss. I don't want him to think that I'm williing (wanting yes, but willing no) to go further than we did last time, but I want him to know that I enjoyed what we did and I don't know how to portray that feeling over the phone without sounding like a whore. And I keep wanting to bash my head against a wall for not kissing him outside his car on Mon. because I was scared. I've never, never, never made the first move and I don't know how. I still don't know what to do with my hands and it just grrrrhggrr. So I keep saying, I'll call him after three today, because thats when he goes into work and then the day goes by and its 11 and he might answer the phone and I tried, I really did try to call yesterday but the circuits were all busy. Which was just great, because I finally get the courage to call and I can't get through...figures.
______________________________________
Word of Yesterday: sojourn \SOH-juhrn; so-JURN\, intransitive verb: To stay as a temporary resident; to dwell for a time. noun: A temporary stay.
Blogger went on a sojourn yesterday and I couldn't put this word on when I had time. On that note...now that I know what a transitive verb is I should know how to use an intransitive verb. But I don't. I can't sojourn someone that doesn't makes sense. I can send them of a sojourn but thats using it as a noun not a verb. Hmmm shall ahve to figure this one out.
Word of the Day: nugatory \NOO-guh-tor-ee; NYOO-\, adjective: 1. Trifling; insignificant; inconsequential. 2. Having no force; inoperative; ineffectual.
I don't like this word. It has a very negative connotation. ALthough that probably makes it the right word for today since I'm feeling a little negative and blah. ALthoughI did have very pleasant walk home from Jackie's and I found out (or at least decided that it would be the right answer) what the PO in PO Box stands for (Post Office). Good things one might say.
Blah. So Dar and Jennifer decided (finally) to start fixing up the office, and let me just say that I'm so glad to be leaving it. They changed the chair. Now granted it was a crappy chair that was losing its stuffing but it had armrests and I liked it. Now we've got this no armrests chair that goes up and down (a feature that I would normally love, but today I miss my chair.) I wonder what they did with it, because if its just gonna get thrown out then I wanna take it to school with me...heck I'd take this chair since anything is better than the hard wooden ones they give us. Except the floor, the floor would rate below hard wooden chairs. They also gave everything a designated place...which is nice and all but I have to turn in a complete circle to get to the hole puncha dn then turn allthe way back with it so I can use it on the file tht is laid out in the only blank desk space large enough for a spread file. If it was up to me I would put the stuff we need for the file arranging next to the area designated for file arranging...but thats just me. Arrrgh I also think that its some of my lazy type organization that dislikes all the order and the this-goes-in-this-specific-place-always type thing thats getting to me. Too much organization of objects makes me antsy.
Blah. I bit off two of my longest nails in the space of twenty minutes. Ithen picked all the nail polish off of the bits I bit off and then chewed on them. That sounds really gross, and it is but I need something to do with my mouth, I need to eat, or talk, or sing, or something. The silence in this office is disturbing my peace of mind. ATHe only sounds I hear all day are typing noises and printing noises and sneezing (because we are obviously passing around the same stale germs through this office.) and a little bit of talking, but not much because we need to work. Grump grump grump.
Blah. I still need to call Brendan. I'm scared. Which is stupid. What's even more stupid is that I'm not afraid of the phone or of him or societies feelings about women calling men, oh no, I'm scared that he's going to answer his phone. And I'm not going to have anything to say. It makes me so mad, because I really don't have anything to say to him. But the one thing I want to say I couldn't in a million years say. Because what I want to say shows how I really think of him (as a casual summer thing that will end in two weeks, but makes for some fun evenings) and it makes me out to me more adventurous and willing than I really am. I want to tell him that I was upset that he got called into work on Monday because it meant that we couldn't make out and that all I got was a quick hug and kiss. I don't want him to think that I'm williing (wanting yes, but willing no) to go further than we did last time, but I want him to know that I enjoyed what we did and I don't know how to portray that feeling over the phone without sounding like a whore. And I keep wanting to bash my head against a wall for not kissing him outside his car on Mon. because I was scared. I've never, never, never made the first move and I don't know how. I still don't know what to do with my hands and it just grrrrhggrr. So I keep saying, I'll call him after three today, because thats when he goes into work and then the day goes by and its 11 and he might answer the phone and I tried, I really did try to call yesterday but the circuits were all busy. Which was just great, because I finally get the courage to call and I can't get through...figures.
______________________________________
Word of Yesterday: sojourn \SOH-juhrn; so-JURN\, intransitive verb: To stay as a temporary resident; to dwell for a time. noun: A temporary stay.
Blogger went on a sojourn yesterday and I couldn't put this word on when I had time. On that note...now that I know what a transitive verb is I should know how to use an intransitive verb. But I don't. I can't sojourn someone that doesn't makes sense. I can send them of a sojourn but thats using it as a noun not a verb. Hmmm shall ahve to figure this one out.
Word of the Day: nugatory \NOO-guh-tor-ee; NYOO-\, adjective: 1. Trifling; insignificant; inconsequential. 2. Having no force; inoperative; ineffectual.
I don't like this word. It has a very negative connotation. ALthough that probably makes it the right word for today since I'm feeling a little negative and blah. ALthoughI did have very pleasant walk home from Jackie's and I found out (or at least decided that it would be the right answer) what the PO in PO Box stands for (Post Office). Good things one might say.
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
DUKE duke duke DUKE of Earl duke duke
Actually it was the Dukes of Hazzard but I love the Duke of Earl song so yeah. I want to be a redneck and drive a Charger pel-nel throught the backwoods and have a sexy southern drawl.
I would also like to make Brendan call me darlin' (like he does anyways) because then he would have a sexy little southern drawl and I would jump him.
Thats all.
~*Ery*~
P.S. I just checked my comments for the jilted post and I have fucking spam!!! WHAT is THAT?!?! How did I get spammed in my blog???? That pisses me off.
I would also like to make Brendan call me darlin' (like he does anyways) because then he would have a sexy little southern drawl and I would jump him.
Thats all.
~*Ery*~
P.S. I just checked my comments for the jilted post and I have fucking spam!!! WHAT is THAT?!?! How did I get spammed in my blog???? That pisses me off.
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Learning along the Way
Darlene started working today. I get to be teacher tomorrow. Weee! I love being able to show people things and teach them. I'm not sure why I don't want to be a teacher. I mean I kinda do, way back in the back of my mind, but I don't know if I could deal with it. I don't know, its just that teaching sems so political and beauraucratic sometimes, and I just can't stand that.
Umm so when I capitalized the w in way I realized that it is reminiscent of The Way (as in the early Christians) and I almost changed it, but then I liked it and its little bit of irony and I just left it.
So I heard two jokes today that I found very amusing:
My friend just bought a couch that turns into a bed...I told him he got ripped off, every couch turns into a bed, you just lie on it the looooong way. And if you drink enough beer, everything turns into a bed...and if you keep drinking beer everything turns into a toilet.
I used to compete in sports alot, but then I found out you could buy trophies...now I'm the best at everything!
Heehee so I was vastly amused. I was also amused by the thought of "mailing" a lit cherry bomb (yeah I was watching Boy Meets World). I mean can't you just see it. The sides would plump out (its a ballpark Frank...they plump when you cook them!) and smoke and fire would spew out of the opening at the top like a dragon. Heehee hope no one had any payments in there.
I love comedians they make me smile (hopefully). On that note I tried putting in a "funny quote of the day into my template so I'm crossing my fingers that it will work.
Need to go shopping for casual clothes w/Nancy. She is my shopping buddy and we both need a day of buying casual jeans and shirts and stuff that have nothing to do with high school. But when will we find the time?!?!
ARrrgh! Totally had a thought and lost it! Grrrr.
______________________________________
Word of the Day: captious \KAP-shuhs\, adjective: 1. Marked by a disposition to find fault or raise objections. 2. Calculated to entrap or confuse, as in an argument.
This word made me think of Jeff and all the strange convoluted conversations we've had since we are both very captious in the way we speak to each other.
I enjoy this word very much. I just like how it sounds, almost spacious but with a different beginning. I also think that I've been learning the words better since I've started commenting on them...what do you think?
~*Ery*~
Umm so when I capitalized the w in way I realized that it is reminiscent of The Way (as in the early Christians) and I almost changed it, but then I liked it and its little bit of irony and I just left it.
So I heard two jokes today that I found very amusing:
My friend just bought a couch that turns into a bed...I told him he got ripped off, every couch turns into a bed, you just lie on it the looooong way. And if you drink enough beer, everything turns into a bed...and if you keep drinking beer everything turns into a toilet.
I used to compete in sports alot, but then I found out you could buy trophies...now I'm the best at everything!
Heehee so I was vastly amused. I was also amused by the thought of "mailing" a lit cherry bomb (yeah I was watching Boy Meets World). I mean can't you just see it. The sides would plump out (its a ballpark Frank...they plump when you cook them!) and smoke and fire would spew out of the opening at the top like a dragon. Heehee hope no one had any payments in there.
I love comedians they make me smile (hopefully). On that note I tried putting in a "funny quote of the day into my template so I'm crossing my fingers that it will work.
Need to go shopping for casual clothes w/Nancy. She is my shopping buddy and we both need a day of buying casual jeans and shirts and stuff that have nothing to do with high school. But when will we find the time?!?!
ARrrgh! Totally had a thought and lost it! Grrrr.
______________________________________
Word of the Day: captious \KAP-shuhs\, adjective: 1. Marked by a disposition to find fault or raise objections. 2. Calculated to entrap or confuse, as in an argument.
This word made me think of Jeff and all the strange convoluted conversations we've had since we are both very captious in the way we speak to each other.
I enjoy this word very much. I just like how it sounds, almost spacious but with a different beginning. I also think that I've been learning the words better since I've started commenting on them...what do you think?
~*Ery*~
Jilted
Ok, jilted is a bit extreme but that is the feeling I have right now. I feel all alone, which is ridiculous but its just that I have been waiting and waiting and waiting for tonight and then it gets all fucked up because of jobs and responsibilities and I should start at the beginning because right now it sounds worse than it is.
So Brendan picked me up promptly at 6:30. We went to the Fondue Room and had dinner which was cool. We had a couple silences which are uncool and they always make me nervous...especially since it usually resulted in him looking at me. In an appreciative way, I'm not bragging, I swear, but still looking at me. I discussed this back when I kissed Jeff orbut it still just creeps me out. It makes me feel like I need to do or say something to stop the looking without speaking. Whats worse is I know I start to blush, and he "likes when I blush" which I bet is part of the reason he does it...just for a reaction. But anyway.
After we ate we were just going to play it by ear (and I was secretly hoping that it would yield some kissing with a possible trip to his house...not that I could just say that, o no, I'm coy and annoying the shit (oy bad language today) out of me because I can make the first mve but why won't I damnit)when his work called. Since he had a feeling they would need him he had warnd me but I was praying against it the whole time. So he called hem back to see what was going on. And they needed him. So he took me home. And I feel jilted, because thats the way it had to be. And all I got was a hug and a quick kiss. And now all that wiating for tonight and getting mentally/physically prepared for whatever happened was for nought. And I'm a little mad and resentful towards his work because they took one of his days off, and he only gets two a week and they are always right next to eachother and now I've got another week to wait. I'm not in a happy mood about this at all...but on the upside the ball is in my court. He told me to give him a call, and I will. I'm making that step (to much going with the flow makes for me being impatient) and i'm going to enjoy it. Thats the final decision.
______________________________
Word of the Day:somniferous \som-NIF-uhr-uhs\, adjective: Causing or inducing sleep.
I think someone is telling me to go to bed...that or it sthe leftover feeling of extreme fullness after dinner.
~*Ery*~
So Brendan picked me up promptly at 6:30. We went to the Fondue Room and had dinner which was cool. We had a couple silences which are uncool and they always make me nervous...especially since it usually resulted in him looking at me. In an appreciative way, I'm not bragging, I swear, but still looking at me. I discussed this back when I kissed Jeff orbut it still just creeps me out. It makes me feel like I need to do or say something to stop the looking without speaking. Whats worse is I know I start to blush, and he "likes when I blush" which I bet is part of the reason he does it...just for a reaction. But anyway.
After we ate we were just going to play it by ear (and I was secretly hoping that it would yield some kissing with a possible trip to his house...not that I could just say that, o no, I'm coy and annoying the shit (oy bad language today) out of me because I can make the first mve but why won't I damnit)when his work called. Since he had a feeling they would need him he had warnd me but I was praying against it the whole time. So he called hem back to see what was going on. And they needed him. So he took me home. And I feel jilted, because thats the way it had to be. And all I got was a hug and a quick kiss. And now all that wiating for tonight and getting mentally/physically prepared for whatever happened was for nought. And I'm a little mad and resentful towards his work because they took one of his days off, and he only gets two a week and they are always right next to eachother and now I've got another week to wait. I'm not in a happy mood about this at all...but on the upside the ball is in my court. He told me to give him a call, and I will. I'm making that step (to much going with the flow makes for me being impatient) and i'm going to enjoy it. Thats the final decision.
______________________________
Word of the Day:somniferous \som-NIF-uhr-uhs\, adjective: Causing or inducing sleep.
I think someone is telling me to go to bed...that or it sthe leftover feeling of extreme fullness after dinner.
~*Ery*~
Sunday, August 07, 2005
College shopping and other Stuff
Whoa crazy buying stuff for college is like moving out...duh. No seriously I went shopping for stuff today for college (22 days!!) I got my comfortor (reversible light green and light blue) and two matching sheet sets and towels in the shades of light green, bright pink, and orange-y yellow. I'm so excited. I also bout an alarm clock CD player, very cool. And a new back pack, that was sorta sad. I love my old one but I need on thats not falling apart. But on the subject of this being like moving out, I guess I mean that it just hadnt really set in yet. I mean I was buying my linens. That symbolizes independance and freedom and stuff. I was just so wowed by the fact that it was up to me. It hadn't quite sunk in that once I was out of the house...I was out of the house...probably for good. Its so strange to think that these last 22 days are most likely the last days I will stay in my home as a true resident. Because I have a very distinct feeling that once I get a taste of freedom there will be no coming back. AHH! That's scary.
To copy (and adjust) a bit of a conversation because it was interesting and described something I think should be saved: Pacing makes me all antsy and I start to breathe heavy and pace...its not good. This is nervous pacing which for me means that almost everytime I turn the same thought comes up. I get stuck in a circular thought process. Nothing changes or gets better.
Man, I love Ricky Martin. I want him to make a come back because I totally missed out on his cute butt shaking. Oooo listening to City High's "What Would You Do?". I love this song!
Going out with Brendan tomorrow. Decided against the skanky skirt because it was "advertising what wasn't for sale", and thats just not fair to anyone involved. Instead I'm going with my khaki skort (yes its short...but its got shorts underneath for protection) with my velvety geen/brown tank top. I will lok both sexy but not skanky which is always a plus. I have decided to lie to my parents when they ask me whatwe did after dinner. I'll tell them that we just drove around. Because I have a feeling it loks suspicious that we keep driving 25 mins. back to his house to "hang out". Not that I could just come out and say..."Well we went back to his house and watched a movie then made out for an hour...yeah we went back there because we can't do that here." I have this distinct feeling that that would be an awkward conversation. It would undoubtedly involve my mother's all-time favorite euphemism for kissing: sucking face. I purposely don't bring up kissing with her for that reason, which is awful because I would love to talk to her about stuff but she gets immature about it and is impossible to talk with. Unless its really me who is taking the whole subject too seriously. Kissing itself is just odd if you think about it. I mean this is kissing: the pressing of two bodily orfices together to swap bodily fluids. That sounds so gross and unappealing for something that most people do and most everyone loves doing. Its odd. Last time I thought abut this I told brendan that kissing was strange and he kissed me. Funny how that worked out.
_____________________________
Word of the Day: castigate \KAS-tuh-gayt\, transitive verb: To punish severely; also, to chastise verbally; to rebuke; to criticize severely
I have no idea what a transitive verb is. Can I castigate someone? or is that considered bad english (not that its very nice or anything, just wondering)?
And did you notice that if you replace the i and g with an r it spells castrate...which is an equally unkind thing to do.
To copy (and adjust) a bit of a conversation because it was interesting and described something I think should be saved: Pacing makes me all antsy and I start to breathe heavy and pace...its not good. This is nervous pacing which for me means that almost everytime I turn the same thought comes up. I get stuck in a circular thought process. Nothing changes or gets better.
Man, I love Ricky Martin. I want him to make a come back because I totally missed out on his cute butt shaking. Oooo listening to City High's "What Would You Do?". I love this song!
Going out with Brendan tomorrow. Decided against the skanky skirt because it was "advertising what wasn't for sale", and thats just not fair to anyone involved. Instead I'm going with my khaki skort (yes its short...but its got shorts underneath for protection) with my velvety geen/brown tank top. I will lok both sexy but not skanky which is always a plus. I have decided to lie to my parents when they ask me whatwe did after dinner. I'll tell them that we just drove around. Because I have a feeling it loks suspicious that we keep driving 25 mins. back to his house to "hang out". Not that I could just come out and say..."Well we went back to his house and watched a movie then made out for an hour...yeah we went back there because we can't do that here." I have this distinct feeling that that would be an awkward conversation. It would undoubtedly involve my mother's all-time favorite euphemism for kissing: sucking face. I purposely don't bring up kissing with her for that reason, which is awful because I would love to talk to her about stuff but she gets immature about it and is impossible to talk with. Unless its really me who is taking the whole subject too seriously. Kissing itself is just odd if you think about it. I mean this is kissing: the pressing of two bodily orfices together to swap bodily fluids. That sounds so gross and unappealing for something that most people do and most everyone loves doing. Its odd. Last time I thought abut this I told brendan that kissing was strange and he kissed me. Funny how that worked out.
_____________________________
Word of the Day: castigate \KAS-tuh-gayt\, transitive verb: To punish severely; also, to chastise verbally; to rebuke; to criticize severely
I have no idea what a transitive verb is. Can I castigate someone? or is that considered bad english (not that its very nice or anything, just wondering)?
And did you notice that if you replace the i and g with an r it spells castrate...which is an equally unkind thing to do.
Saturday, August 06, 2005
Post Work
So after work today...well yesterday...anyway, I went with Jen to the swim team's party. And teh lady at the gate wouldn't let us in! No seriously first we pull up to the stop sign and stop and she just looks at us. So we sit there and finally she's like 'Can I help you?' no thanks we're just sitting here for the fun of it, really). So we tell her our names and why we're there and she tells us that there is no party, we aren't on teh list, and we can go across the street to Kroger's to call someone. Gee, thanks. OS we go to the Kroger's parking lot and start calling peopleto find Taryn's cell phone. The calls went something like this Me -->Jackie, Me --> Jay, Me --> Mrs. Jackie's Mom, Mrs. Jackie's Mom -->Me, Me-->Taryn's old house #, Me --> Taryn's new house #, Me --> Taryn's cell. This only took ten minutes or so ...it was ridiculously hard to get a hold of Taryn. But we did so she met us at the gate where the cranky lady told us she looked on the wrong sheet and suprise suprise! We were on the right list the whole time. So yeah we finaly get in and then we ate and everyone but Jen and I went swimming...we played mommy and cleaned everything up and "had a chit-chat". It was cool. We left around 5 and got stuck in rush hour traffic.
Then we went to Mike's house where we sat in his room and him and Jen cuddled and I watched...but not in a weird way, just cause that's how they are. And then Mike bit my shoulder. Just because he said he would..so he did. I squealed. Which was dumb and then I felt stupid and was glad we were leaving
Jen and I then went to the Master's Swim Team thing that she had to lifeguard for. Al the other lifeguards tha are her friends were doingit so I joined and got my butt kicked. Yeah. I'm so out of shape. I couldn't finish a 4000 yd set...which is an average practice length. It was cool though because I beat Mark, who isone of the make lifeguards, in yardage so i felt good (because deep down, I love beatng boys).
After that Jen and I went to get Mike and get some pizza. After that we went and dropped Amber and Corinne off at home and then drove with Liz to go with us to Mark's to get jen's cell phone charger and then to the video store to rent two movies that we didn't watch. No point in doing that really just an excuse if we had to stay at Mike's house long during the poker game. Yeah, Jen and I don't d othe whole poker scene so we were just gonna chil upstairs in Mike's room till we decided to go home. Oh wow though I totally had a weird moment though. When we got back from the video store we went down to Mikes basement to see who was there and saw hi and stuff. And the first personI see when we walk into the poker area is Romney. So what do I do? I look down. Like an idiot. So then I look up because I don't want to be stupid and just embarassed over something dumb. And then he waved (to all of us, but it felt like just me...even though I know deep down it wasn't, I guess I sort of wanted it to be which is just wrong.) and I waved back in a very general "hi whatever" sort of way to the entire room. I was very proud of that little bit of nonchalance that made up for the previous looking down incident.
After that we went to Mike's room to watch the moies but Liz left and then we went to Jacque's for a bonfire. It was nice...I was the only girl since Jen left and it was a little weird. Then it was almost 1 and Mike and Mullet were my escorts home so I left to. now I'm here and thats the end. Mullet said my house looked like it should have gargoyles on it...I think I agree. Gargoyes might be cool.
No its not. I waited all night for Brendan to call (which is stupid because a) I can call him and b) who says he has to call everyday?). And since he didn't now I'm gonna call tomorrow since I finally have stuff to tell him unlike my usual: "Nothing I'm just sitting here like a lump" standard reply. Ah well doesn't really matter. I'm off to bed though. Its so late. 1:34 by the time this was done. Oy beeeeed!!!
~*Ery*~
Then we went to Mike's house where we sat in his room and him and Jen cuddled and I watched...but not in a weird way, just cause that's how they are. And then Mike bit my shoulder. Just because he said he would..so he did. I squealed. Which was dumb and then I felt stupid and was glad we were leaving
Jen and I then went to the Master's Swim Team thing that she had to lifeguard for. Al the other lifeguards tha are her friends were doingit so I joined and got my butt kicked. Yeah. I'm so out of shape. I couldn't finish a 4000 yd set...which is an average practice length. It was cool though because I beat Mark, who isone of the make lifeguards, in yardage so i felt good (because deep down, I love beatng boys).
After that Jen and I went to get Mike and get some pizza. After that we went and dropped Amber and Corinne off at home and then drove with Liz to go with us to Mark's to get jen's cell phone charger and then to the video store to rent two movies that we didn't watch. No point in doing that really just an excuse if we had to stay at Mike's house long during the poker game. Yeah, Jen and I don't d othe whole poker scene so we were just gonna chil upstairs in Mike's room till we decided to go home. Oh wow though I totally had a weird moment though. When we got back from the video store we went down to Mikes basement to see who was there and saw hi and stuff. And the first personI see when we walk into the poker area is Romney. So what do I do? I look down. Like an idiot. So then I look up because I don't want to be stupid and just embarassed over something dumb. And then he waved (to all of us, but it felt like just me...even though I know deep down it wasn't, I guess I sort of wanted it to be which is just wrong.) and I waved back in a very general "hi whatever" sort of way to the entire room. I was very proud of that little bit of nonchalance that made up for the previous looking down incident.
After that we went to Mike's room to watch the moies but Liz left and then we went to Jacque's for a bonfire. It was nice...I was the only girl since Jen left and it was a little weird. Then it was almost 1 and Mike and Mullet were my escorts home so I left to. now I'm here and thats the end. Mullet said my house looked like it should have gargoyles on it...I think I agree. Gargoyes might be cool.
No its not. I waited all night for Brendan to call (which is stupid because a) I can call him and b) who says he has to call everyday?). And since he didn't now I'm gonna call tomorrow since I finally have stuff to tell him unlike my usual: "Nothing I'm just sitting here like a lump" standard reply. Ah well doesn't really matter. I'm off to bed though. Its so late. 1:34 by the time this was done. Oy beeeeed!!!
~*Ery*~
Friday, August 05, 2005
Blog Things
So I'm sitting at my desk at work contemplating what I should write about today I had these thoughts: I could write about how Brendan called me? No I don't want to thats boring I always write about something like that. Or theres the Fondue Room, oh thats right the fondue room where we are going to dinner on Monday . All swanky and expensive but he really wants to go and technically I told him and I want to wear my skanky skirt and Oh my gosh I haven't explained the skanky skirt yet. I love that skirt I'm gonna write about that.
So here is the skanky skirt explanation. In CA we went to (my new favorite store ever thats only in CA) Papaya. I got this cool shirt and this fun dress (both of which feature a low neckline or a high hemline..there is a pattern in this store somewhere I know it...) and as we were leaving I decided that I needed another black skirt (I have three now its silly). So I grabbed this flowy one in my size and bought it. Did't try it on or anything just got it because I knew it would fit and it was pretty. Well two months later I finally find an opportunity to put on my pretty black skirt...and discover that it is a faux wrap around. Meaning that the solid balck material"wraps " on both sides to the front of the skirt...they do not overlap. The gauzy parts on top overlap but thats it. Together with Nancy and Jackie we decided that it was my skanky skirt since whenever I walk or sit the main part of the skirt splits open to reveal my leg up to almost an indecent point. But I love this skirt. The thing is frickin awesome and I want to wear it everywhere. Only I can't because it is dressy looking. I think I could dress it down enough to wear it to the fondue Room but then I have a problem.
See, I know what Brendan and I are doing after dinner. We are going back to his house to "watch a movie". Ummmm, I have serious doubts as to whether or not this is going to happen. In all likelyhood I'm gonna end up in the same postion I was in last week...on my back in his bed (oy that sounds worse than it was). Which would cause the above described skanky skirt to do what it does best...be skanky and open up (heehee). SO I don't know if I'm gonna wear it. Because its very hard to say you can't go there when what I'm wearing is screaming "take me I'm yours!!" On teh other hand I could always not end up in his bed...nah just more fun to change. If I don't, I'll wear my tan peasant skirt which is purty and demure and doesn't ride up. But I love love loooooooove my skanky skirt soooooooooo much. Ah well. Heeehee I also want to wear my black stilettos, but then I'd definitly be taller than him so flip flops it is.
So I figured something out yesterday. Half the reason I was so "oooo lets kiss and make out and in gneral get very riled up" was that I was ovulating. Stupid "fertile phase" always makes me incredibly horny. I'm gonna have to start watching myself. Monitering my cycle and stuff so that I can avoid things like that. But then, that makes me wonder...will I be less"in the mood"/responsive since my body is no longer trying to get itself pregnant? Random musings that don't really matter but thats how its is.
_______________________________
Word of the Day: beholden \bih-HOHL-duhn\, adjective: Obliged; bound in gratitude; indebted
Beholden...despite it sdefinition it makes me feel like re-reading Catcher in the Rye. I love that book. Nancy promised to hug Holden Hall for me...since I can't.
~*Ery*~
So here is the skanky skirt explanation. In CA we went to (my new favorite store ever thats only in CA) Papaya. I got this cool shirt and this fun dress (both of which feature a low neckline or a high hemline..there is a pattern in this store somewhere I know it...) and as we were leaving I decided that I needed another black skirt (I have three now its silly). So I grabbed this flowy one in my size and bought it. Did't try it on or anything just got it because I knew it would fit and it was pretty. Well two months later I finally find an opportunity to put on my pretty black skirt...and discover that it is a faux wrap around. Meaning that the solid balck material"wraps " on both sides to the front of the skirt...they do not overlap. The gauzy parts on top overlap but thats it. Together with Nancy and Jackie we decided that it was my skanky skirt since whenever I walk or sit the main part of the skirt splits open to reveal my leg up to almost an indecent point. But I love this skirt. The thing is frickin awesome and I want to wear it everywhere. Only I can't because it is dressy looking. I think I could dress it down enough to wear it to the fondue Room but then I have a problem.
See, I know what Brendan and I are doing after dinner. We are going back to his house to "watch a movie". Ummmm, I have serious doubts as to whether or not this is going to happen. In all likelyhood I'm gonna end up in the same postion I was in last week...on my back in his bed (oy that sounds worse than it was). Which would cause the above described skanky skirt to do what it does best...be skanky and open up (heehee). SO I don't know if I'm gonna wear it. Because its very hard to say you can't go there when what I'm wearing is screaming "take me I'm yours!!" On teh other hand I could always not end up in his bed...nah just more fun to change. If I don't, I'll wear my tan peasant skirt which is purty and demure and doesn't ride up. But I love love loooooooove my skanky skirt soooooooooo much. Ah well. Heeehee I also want to wear my black stilettos, but then I'd definitly be taller than him so flip flops it is.
So I figured something out yesterday. Half the reason I was so "oooo lets kiss and make out and in gneral get very riled up" was that I was ovulating. Stupid "fertile phase" always makes me incredibly horny. I'm gonna have to start watching myself. Monitering my cycle and stuff so that I can avoid things like that. But then, that makes me wonder...will I be less"in the mood"/responsive since my body is no longer trying to get itself pregnant? Random musings that don't really matter but thats how its is.
_______________________________
Word of the Day: beholden \bih-HOHL-duhn\, adjective: Obliged; bound in gratitude; indebted
Beholden...despite it sdefinition it makes me feel like re-reading Catcher in the Rye. I love that book. Nancy promised to hug Holden Hall for me...since I can't.
~*Ery*~
Thursday, August 04, 2005
Survey type thing to keep me busy at Work
10 years ago: August 1995 - Lets see I was 8 so I was probably hanging with the Jenna And Pamela still. Oh the good ole days of toughened feet and playing for hours.
5 years ago: August 2000 - 13. Getting ready for 8th Grade. woot woot. I think that was the summer I started shaving my legs and bleeding from the uterus. Damn Aug. 2000.
1 year ago: August 2004-17. Powderpuff practice!! We won! practice was the best, even though we never did get a traditional mud fight we rocked on game day!!
Yesterday: August 2005-18. Worked, went to the library, watched almost all of Cruel Intentions but got fed up and left in the last 15 mins, talked to Brendan, read in my basement for two hours. Actually though I saw Ann and Alison (Ann is ahalf of this lebian couple who live around my block...Alison is their adoptive daughter) and they are so nice. Alison was telling me about how she loves politics and is good at talking to people...she's gonna be so well informed as an adult.
Today: August 2005-18. Slept till 10:11 (bliss) did some chores, read, now I'm at work.
Tomorrow: Work, maybe a swim party. Don't know if I'll be able to go yet though.
5 snacks I enjoy: Chips (anything salty and crunchy'll do), baby carrots, ice cream!!!, fruits (especially berries), umm duh chocolate.
5 bands that I know the lyrics of MOST of their songs: Hot Hot Heat, Yellow Card, Jewel (ok I don't listen to a lot of bands persay so this is now artists), Reba McIntyre, Bryan White
5 things I would do with $100,000,000: Stow away cash for college, stow away cash for both my siblings college, buy cars for my fam, hire a contractor/intrior designer to fiinsh the house, donate to a palce researching Alzheimer's
5 locations I'd like to run away to: Greece, Kalamazoo, Alaska, Paris, Russia
5 bad habits I have: Nail biting (I haven't bit in almost a week though so I'm being cured), obsessing over little things, procrastinating like no other, lack of motivation to do anything (sort of like procrastination, but at the end I just don't do it), not thinking before I do things (oddly contrasting to the obssisng I don't always think things through)
5 things I like doing: Reading, going to the cheap show w/Nancy, eating gravy (not allone but its soooo good sometimes) making snow angels, kissing Brendan (teeeheehee)
5 things I would never wear: Tapered jeans, plaid shorts...I just can't do it, a mohawk (yes that counts), a toe ring, a tennis dress (they are weird because its all one thing and I can't deal with it)
5 TV shows I like:Gilmore Girls, Wildfire, The Nanny, Drake and Josh, Jeopardy (seriously...love when I'm right)
5 movies I like:Fight Club (read it, see it), THe Princess Bride, Phantom of the Opera, Boondock Saints, Ever After
5 famous people I'd like to meet: Maya Angelou, Oprah, Eminem (I foster this deep dark love of him and his songs..very people know this), Quentin Tarantino, and those one of the two brothers in Boondock Saints (don't care whichI just want to touch him)
5 biggest joys at the moment: Playing with my hair, spinning in my desk chair, wearing skirts, going to bed at midnight, kissing Brendan (I'm a little obsessed)
5 favorite toys: My laptop that I get in three weeks, my cute little red cell phone, paper dolls, the office supplies on my desk, mom's bike (gets me everywhere within 8 miles)
Well now that was fun. I have nothing to do now. Ah well
~*Ery*~
5 years ago: August 2000 - 13. Getting ready for 8th Grade. woot woot. I think that was the summer I started shaving my legs and bleeding from the uterus. Damn Aug. 2000.
1 year ago: August 2004-17. Powderpuff practice!! We won! practice was the best, even though we never did get a traditional mud fight we rocked on game day!!
Yesterday: August 2005-18. Worked, went to the library, watched almost all of Cruel Intentions but got fed up and left in the last 15 mins, talked to Brendan, read in my basement for two hours. Actually though I saw Ann and Alison (Ann is ahalf of this lebian couple who live around my block...Alison is their adoptive daughter) and they are so nice. Alison was telling me about how she loves politics and is good at talking to people...she's gonna be so well informed as an adult.
Today: August 2005-18. Slept till 10:11 (bliss) did some chores, read, now I'm at work.
Tomorrow: Work, maybe a swim party. Don't know if I'll be able to go yet though.
5 snacks I enjoy: Chips (anything salty and crunchy'll do), baby carrots, ice cream!!!, fruits (especially berries), umm duh chocolate.
5 bands that I know the lyrics of MOST of their songs: Hot Hot Heat, Yellow Card, Jewel (ok I don't listen to a lot of bands persay so this is now artists), Reba McIntyre, Bryan White
5 things I would do with $100,000,000: Stow away cash for college, stow away cash for both my siblings college, buy cars for my fam, hire a contractor/intrior designer to fiinsh the house, donate to a palce researching Alzheimer's
5 locations I'd like to run away to: Greece, Kalamazoo, Alaska, Paris, Russia
5 bad habits I have: Nail biting (I haven't bit in almost a week though so I'm being cured), obsessing over little things, procrastinating like no other, lack of motivation to do anything (sort of like procrastination, but at the end I just don't do it), not thinking before I do things (oddly contrasting to the obssisng I don't always think things through)
5 things I like doing: Reading, going to the cheap show w/Nancy, eating gravy (not allone but its soooo good sometimes) making snow angels, kissing Brendan (teeeheehee)
5 things I would never wear: Tapered jeans, plaid shorts...I just can't do it, a mohawk (yes that counts), a toe ring, a tennis dress (they are weird because its all one thing and I can't deal with it)
5 TV shows I like:Gilmore Girls, Wildfire, The Nanny, Drake and Josh, Jeopardy (seriously...love when I'm right)
5 movies I like:Fight Club (read it, see it), THe Princess Bride, Phantom of the Opera, Boondock Saints, Ever After
5 famous people I'd like to meet: Maya Angelou, Oprah, Eminem (I foster this deep dark love of him and his songs..very people know this), Quentin Tarantino, and those one of the two brothers in Boondock Saints (don't care whichI just want to touch him)
5 biggest joys at the moment: Playing with my hair, spinning in my desk chair, wearing skirts, going to bed at midnight, kissing Brendan (I'm a little obsessed)
5 favorite toys: My laptop that I get in three weeks, my cute little red cell phone, paper dolls, the office supplies on my desk, mom's bike (gets me everywhere within 8 miles)
Well now that was fun. I have nothing to do now. Ah well
~*Ery*~
Ciao
So I like the word ciao. Its fun to say, but sadly its only useful in some situations...like saying goodbye.
Update: My finger still hurts and now the bruise is very big.
Brendan called last night (this is ridiculous I don't even care that much about him but I get giggley when I'm talking to him and I have nothing to say and there is this very nicephysical attraction thing going and ... close parentheses). He made me smile and I apparently make him smile because I blush. That makes my day. I love the thought of blushing. Its just such a demure feminine thing that I have always wanted to be able to do...and apparently I already do which is cool. And I heard this song on the radio today which is dscribes almost exactly how I feel: I just can't get you out of my head/boy your lovin' is all I think about/ I just can't get you out of my head/Oh its more than I dare to think about. Yup thats it. Its not even our stimulating conversation. Its the makeing out. Which is cool since I leave in less than three weeks now.
______________________________
Word of the day: parsimonious \par-suh-MOH-nee-uhs\, adjective: Sparing in expenditure; frugal to excess.
Thats a good one I guess. Its always good to save.
~*Ery*~
Update: My finger still hurts and now the bruise is very big.
Brendan called last night (this is ridiculous I don't even care that much about him but I get giggley when I'm talking to him and I have nothing to say and there is this very nicephysical attraction thing going and ... close parentheses). He made me smile and I apparently make him smile because I blush. That makes my day. I love the thought of blushing. Its just such a demure feminine thing that I have always wanted to be able to do...and apparently I already do which is cool. And I heard this song on the radio today which is dscribes almost exactly how I feel: I just can't get you out of my head/boy your lovin' is all I think about/ I just can't get you out of my head/Oh its more than I dare to think about. Yup thats it. Its not even our stimulating conversation. Its the makeing out. Which is cool since I leave in less than three weeks now.
______________________________
Word of the day: parsimonious \par-suh-MOH-nee-uhs\, adjective: Sparing in expenditure; frugal to excess.
Thats a good one I guess. Its always good to save.
~*Ery*~
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
Men (limes) in their Coconuts (boys)
So here is a qote that I love a lot. I wish I could send it to every guy that I ever date.
Okay so here's a weird thing that I've yet to figure out...when do they stop being boys and become men...Like I say that I like boys...but technically I like men since I don't want a male under the age of 18. But I have this huge difficulty when in talking to people about, say Brendan, saying: Oh he's this man I like. Because that conjures up this 30 yr old dude and that is not what I mean. I could say young man...but then I feel like a grandmother. Pinching people's cheeks and saying: So, is there a nice young man that you like? SO I say boy, but I feel bad because technically they aren't boys. They're men. I don't have this problem with women and girls. I could say girl until I'm out of college but with a guy (I guess I'm settling with guy because that works very well) I would feel as if I was stiffling his "manhood" (put in quotes because I think that the "manhoos" thing can be taken way to seriously). Oh well.
Brendan called (I was grinning like a loon). We might do womething Monday or Tues. Hopefully Monday because I don't have to go into work until later on Tues. that way I can get more sleep if we are out late, which will probably be the case. Until then thoughI must be content to just sit around and wait for him to call (now he's at work so I don't know when he'll be off or I'd call) and think fun little thoughts about kissing him. Yummmm Hummmm
Ow! I have a bruise right on the tip of my ring finger and it kills. I don't know how the heck it got there but it hurts like a mother. And I heard "Coconut" by Harry Nilsson today and I luuuurve that song. No seriously I even tried to do my colors today to simulate the lime in the coconut (It worked better on AIM...I could have a brown background and lime green text...heehee fun!).
And that is the reaosn that I copy pasted the words to this lovely lovely song right here. SO I can look at them whenedverI want and feel very happy! (Despite blogger pissing me off with this stupid block quote feature that I am never using again because it pisses me off)
Hold her hand while you talk. Hold her hand while you drive. Just hold her hand.
Tell her she looks pretty.
Look her in the eyes when you talk.
Protect her.
Tell her stupid jokes.
Tickle her, even if she says stop.
Slow dance with her.
When she starts yelling at you, tell her you love her.
Let her fall asleep in your arms.
Get her mad, then kiss her.
Tease her. Let her tease you back.
Kiss her forehead.
Let her wear your clothes.
Go slow. Dont push anything.
Kiss her in the rain.
And when you fall in love with her... tell her.
Okay so here's a weird thing that I've yet to figure out...when do they stop being boys and become men...Like I say that I like boys...but technically I like men since I don't want a male under the age of 18. But I have this huge difficulty when in talking to people about, say Brendan, saying: Oh he's this man I like. Because that conjures up this 30 yr old dude and that is not what I mean. I could say young man...but then I feel like a grandmother. Pinching people's cheeks and saying: So, is there a nice young man that you like? SO I say boy, but I feel bad because technically they aren't boys. They're men. I don't have this problem with women and girls. I could say girl until I'm out of college but with a guy (I guess I'm settling with guy because that works very well) I would feel as if I was stiffling his "manhood" (put in quotes because I think that the "manhoos" thing can be taken way to seriously). Oh well.
Brendan called (I was grinning like a loon). We might do womething Monday or Tues. Hopefully Monday because I don't have to go into work until later on Tues. that way I can get more sleep if we are out late, which will probably be the case. Until then thoughI must be content to just sit around and wait for him to call (now he's at work so I don't know when he'll be off or I'd call) and think fun little thoughts about kissing him. Yummmm Hummmm
Ow! I have a bruise right on the tip of my ring finger and it kills. I don't know how the heck it got there but it hurts like a mother. And I heard "Coconut" by Harry Nilsson today and I luuuurve that song. No seriously I even tried to do my colors today to simulate the lime in the coconut (It worked better on AIM...I could have a brown background and lime green text...heehee fun!).
And that is the reaosn that I copy pasted the words to this lovely lovely song right here. SO I can look at them whenedverI want and feel very happy! (Despite blogger pissing me off with this stupid block quote feature that I am never using again because it pisses me off)
Bruder bought a coconut, he bought it for a dime,
His sister had anudder one she paid it for de lime.
She put de lime in de coconut, she drank 'em bot' up
She put de lime in de coconut, she drank 'em bot' up.
She put de lime in de coconut, she drank 'em bot' up
She put de lime in de coconut, she call de doctor, woke 'im up,
Said "doctor, ain't there nothin' I can take?"
I said "Doctor, to relieve this belly ache,"
I said "Doctor, ain't there nothin' I can take?"
I said "Doctor, to relieve this belly ache."
Now lemme get this straight,
You put de lime in de coconut, you drank 'em bot' up,
You put de lime in de coconut, you drank 'em bot' up,
You put de lime in de coconut, you drank 'em bot'up,
You put de lime in de coconut, you call your doctor, woke 'im up,
Said " Doctor, ain't there nothing' I can take?"
I said, "Doctor, to relieve this belly ache."
I said "Doctor, ain't there nothin' I can take?'
I said, "Doctor, to relieve this belly ache,"
You put de lime in de coconut, you drink 'em bot' togedder
Put de lime in de coconut and you'll feel better,
Put de lime in de coconut, drink 'em bot' up,
Put de lime in de coconut and call me in the morning."
Woo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo.
Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo.
Brudder bought a coconut, he bought it for a dime,
His sister had anudder one she paid it for a lime.
She put de lime in de coconut, she drank 'em bot' up
She put de lime in de coconut and called de doctor, woke 'im up.
And said, "Doctor, ain't there nothin' I can take?'
I said, "Doctor, to relieve this belly ache."
I said "Doctor, ain't there nothin' I can take?"
I said, "Doctor, now lemme get this straight,
You put the lime in the coconut, you drink 'em bot'up,
Put the lime in the coconut, you drink 'em bot' up,
Put the lime in the coconut, you drink 'em bot' up,
Put the lime in the coconut. You're such a silly woman.
Put the lime in the coconut and drink 'em bot' together
Put the lime in the coconut, then you'll feel better.
Put the lime in the coconut, drink 'em both down,
Put the lime in your coconut, and call me in the morning,
Woo--ain't there nothin' you can take?
I say, woo--to relieve your belly ache,
You say, well woo--ain't there nothin' I can take
I say woo--woo, to relieve your belly ache,
You say yow--ain't there nothin' I can take,
I say wow--to relieve this belly ache,
I said "Doctor, ain't there nothing I can take,"
I said, "Doctor, ain't there nothing I can take,"
I said, "Doctor, ain't there nothing I can take,"
I said, "Doctor you're such a silly woman.
Put the lime in the coconut and drink 'em both together,
Put the lime in the coconut, and you'll feel better,
Put the lime in the coconut and drink 'em bot' up,
Put the lime in the coconut and call me in the morning.
Yes, you call me in the morning, You call me in the morning,
I'll tell you what to do if you call me in the morning.
I'll tell you what to do if you call me in the morning.
I'll tell you what to do if you call me in the morning.
I'll tell you what to do and if you call me in the morning
I'll tell you what to do.
And for the freaking record it took forever to bold and color the words lime and coconut one by one. But it looks cool, no? And does it not show just how boring this job is that I had time and nothing better to do but to do that.
______________________________________
Word of the Day: affable -- 1. Easy to speak to; receiving others kindly and conversing with them in a free and friendly manner. 2. Gracious; benign.
Wouldn't it be an awesome compliment if someone said you were affable. Although, its kind of like saying you're nice, but it sounds better.
~*Ery*~
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Chocolate Beans
So yeah...thats my, ummm, self portrait courtesy of the paint application on the computer. I like it. It doesn't reveal too much...but it does make my shoulders look alarmingly sticky-outy. Oh well. Beggars can't be choosers. So my word of the day was circumlocution which means the use of many words when one would suffice...which is mildly ironic since its definition is very wordy.
****** DISCLAIMER ******
The next two sections of this describe my date with Brendan in its entirity. The second section is mildly graphic and describes our "make-out" session. It is highly personal and I ask that anyone who happens to read it does not feel offended (it wasn't written for you, it was written for me, so bug off) and refrains from passing harsh judgement in the way of comments or opinions of me. You are welcome to read it, just keep this in mind: I'm only 18...I'm still finding my limits.
Umm so I went on my first 2nd date yesterday. We had sushi for dinner, of which I still have to say that I am a huge fan. I mean, its sorta good, but I just don't think I could grow to love it like Brendan does. It may have something to do with the fact that the rolls are gigantic and my mouth is not, thus making it rather difficult to chew and fully enjoy the stupid gargantuan things, but whatever, I tried it and thats all that really matters. After dinner we went back to his house and watched Shaun of the Dead. And that says nothing about how I felt, does it? Well ok, first off I was glad that we just went back to his house to chill out because personally that is a favorite activity of mine (chilling...not hanging out at Brendan's house...although that could become afavorite activity...) and I'm pretty good at it. Secondly this was a strange movie. I'm sorry I picked it because I was definitly a bit weirded out by the whole strange concept of killing off the zombies and then keeping them as pets. Thirdly we watched the movie on Brendan's bed. This was, umm how shall I say, probably not the best idea in the world. Nothing happened while we were watching the movie besides a nice cuddle (Okay I loved the cuddling and I won't deny that) but after the movie things got a bit sketchy. Because after the movie Brendan and I had a wee little make-out session...on his bed...again, not a wise idea. Things went further than they should have, not too far, though, because I managed to keep some sense of myself, but still farther than I should have let them go. That is vague and I'm sorry but I'll try to explain its just hard putting it down because then I have to see it in writing. But that is good because maybe next time I won't have so much trouble saying:"That's a line please don't cross it."
Okay. It went something like this. Laying on bed. Kissing on bed. Brendan rolling me over to: me on bottom, him on top, (Ok that is a very close position to actual sex so I believe this is the point at which I began to have issues. I was enjoying myself very much (I won't lie) but I began to have doubts in my head about whether this is where I wanted to be at this point) kissing on bed. Him asking about my sexual experience (making out and thats it) and I asked about his (A: "I've had lots of sex"...umm not sure I'm comfortable with that...should have told him straight out, right then, that I intend to be a virgin when I get married...didn't because I'm a coward). More kissing along the same lines of before but now with Brendan making forays (I like that word!) further down my neck and onto my chest/breast area (Ok right here was a "too early in the relationship" line that I neglected to put up. I told him when he aked, if that was crossing a line: "that you should stop because I think we passed the line and need to come back away from it." And that is wheer I'm having most of my problems today. I want to take that action back. I want to erase the too-far-down-my-shirt-moment but I can't and its plaguing me a bit.). Okay back to the kissing thing (there was some rolling around involved here...which was very, umm envigorating...and umm yeah, he was very concious of how I was doing and kept stopping ot make sure I was okay with everything that was occuring, which was nice because he knew there were lines and didn't want to press his luck. A very wise thing. A very kind gentlmanly thing.) At some point I realized that I had better pull my skirt back down a bit since it was riding up and that seemed to spark some interest in him. Because he realized that yes, I was wearing a short skirt, which put certain things within easy access and decided to try his luck there. Well actually first I made him go look at the time because it was 11:00 pm when we started and I have to be home around 12-ish ( I have a loose curfew...I'm good because if I abuse it I get a stricter one). So he had to leave the bed which left me there...all laid out and feeling mildly dirty but having fun because I hadn't done anything bad, really (heehee, I felt all skankish and"unclean" but it was ok becaus eI was fully clothed and had only been kissing...it was an interesting feeling, one I don't thinkI want again but was sorta fun while it lasted). When he came back he kissed my stomach...ummm yeah that was lower than I had expected and I had to give him the "No below the skirt line." Which he didn't like and asked if he could touch my legs. I hadn't thought about this but I figured legs were safe enough ( I'm really mostly concerned with the...pelvic area)...until legs bcame bum and then I had an issue which we solved by reinstating the "No below the skirt line". So, with that line reinstated the kissing continued. (Note to be made...Brendan wrestled in high school, he has a smidge advantage over me in the, ahem, body positioning business). With that note I add that with this latest roll of me to my back A leg (his) had mad an appearance between my legs. This knee began an excursion into my crotch (and I hate that terminology but its the best I can come up with right now and its a knee so it can't get into smaller more accurately named places). Umm that felt good. And he knew it. And I felt mildly pissed because he used his advantage of body positioning against me to achieve,what I don't know...me in a more worked up state thus allowing him mor access? I don't know. I just know that after that I was definitly on a " I need out of this bed stat" tangent in my head. Thankfully by this time it was 11:40 which meant that the 40 minute drive home needed to get started so I made him get up...literally had to force that one. And he took me home. Two kisses in the car in the driveway and a hug and cheek kiss at the door (because he walked me to it which was sweet). He said he'd call and that was that. No actually that wasn't that. I went to bed and could not sleep. Why? Because I was so freaking wound up. I had not calmed down much on the car ride over and the kisses in the car just revved me all up again. So I spent a restless night reliving the last hour of Aug. 1 2005 and now I'm at work, distracted out of my mind by lingering thoughts about the last hour of Aug. 1 2005.
But I have a solution for the next time we see each other... first off we are going to have a talk. A talk about my values and the lines I've drawn. I'm going to tell him right off that I intend to leave my pelvic area untouched until I'm married (I.E. virginal) and that until I feel more comfortable with it there will be no kissing of the chest/breasts that involves any shirt movement. He will except those rules or take me home and that is that. I will not be teased into doing more than I wish to and any coercion will be seen as disrespecting my values and needs. I don't care how natural it is to "get worked up" and want to do more. The body is weak, thus the mind must be strong. I may have to read this over before we go out next time...just as a reminder to myself.
All in all though, I had a very good time. I dont' feel the deep seated regret that I did when I made out with Romney (thank God) and I don't thinkI will as long as I hold tight to what I believe, deep down, that there are some things worth waiting for, and sex is one of them.
~*Ery*~
P.S. I also think that I should feel comfortable telling my best friends whatI've done...as it is I have to leave somethings out because they make me feel shame. That is not right and that alone should be a way to judge my actions in the future.
P.P.S. The title is really random and umm had nothing to do with anything. Fun, though, I love chocolate...and beans so I guess it is a good thing...maybe.
Monday, August 01, 2005
Shut up, BRAIN!!!
!!!!!!!! My brain is going a mile a minute and its going every direction at once...My brain is expanding like the Big Bang! I can't focus, I feel like Im ADD or something! Really, I think I'm just in a constant, unrelieved, unrecognized state of nervousness. I feel like everything is happening so fast but then not fast enough. I'm having bad dreams where I lose my friends and my roomate hates me, I can't get past the fact that I have a date tonight, which should not be scary...except that its my first 2nd date ever. And yeah there is a first time for everything and thats just silly remembering a 1st 2nd date but after that its easy (or so I hope! Eee what if its not then what?!?!) I don't know 2nd date etiquette!! I mean, we kissed goodbye, so do we kiss hello? I've lost my mantra!! Help! Oh, getting all that out feels better. I need to chill. Confidence is a state of mind, not a reality. "Be still and know I am God" ~~Psalm 46:10. 3 C's: Calm Cool and Collected. Ooooo. Feeling better already. Those are my real mantras. I say them whenever I start to feel really anxious or scared, or in need of comfort. I find them very helpful.
So my dreams. I'm now calm enough to discuss them without the fear that I might blow up or something.
Dream 1 ~~ In which Timnah Hates Me
So I had this dream the other night where I went to college. I was moving in and it was crazy. I had to take this boat across a lake at night. Then when we got to the campus it was like one huge dorm with hallways off the main corridors leading to individual rooms. My dad and I go into my room and there is Timnah, my roommate, sitting with her mother. SHe has one of those really cool beds that every kid wanted, you know, the one that was shaped like a rocket ship and the bed was inside it. except hers was "college-inspired" it wasn't a rocketship for starters and it had a curvy wood head board and flashing lights. SHe was pissed at me because I was apparently late. So I sent my dad off to go to the store to get the lofting materials (I gave him the right directions in my dream which was weird). While he's gone I look over and ask Timnah where all the college given (that is not the word I want but the one that fits escapes me) furniture. SHe point to this gated area in the rooma nd says" its in the gate....about this time I woke up, thank God. I was a bit paniked to say the least.
Dream 2 ~~ In which My Best Friends hate Me
This dream takes place inside my old HS. However, its this weird castle-y place that is not really my school. Anyway I get there by riding my bike to Nancy's and then putting my bike in her car and driving the rest of the way. We meet up with Jackie at the school and then go inside. We go down into this dungeon and discover that the school play is being prepared for and there are two girls down in the dungeon (or costume room ) getting ready. Since I was the three time costume chief I thought I would help out for a bit since we had nothing to do. Well Jackie and Nancy got mad and left me an then the girls I was helping got mad and ignored me so I went back upstairs to look for Nancy and Jackie. I wander into the gym where they are helping peope off the floor because everyone is getting sick and collapsing. Tus frightened away from the gym I scurry back outside to find my best friends packing up they're cars and getting ready to leave. Nancy begrudginglylets me go get me bike, which she had placed half way up the hill to the schoola nd then I woke up...I guess they really didn't hate me but in the dream it felt like they did.
~*Ery*~
So my dreams. I'm now calm enough to discuss them without the fear that I might blow up or something.
Dream 1 ~~ In which Timnah Hates Me
So I had this dream the other night where I went to college. I was moving in and it was crazy. I had to take this boat across a lake at night. Then when we got to the campus it was like one huge dorm with hallways off the main corridors leading to individual rooms. My dad and I go into my room and there is Timnah, my roommate, sitting with her mother. SHe has one of those really cool beds that every kid wanted, you know, the one that was shaped like a rocket ship and the bed was inside it. except hers was "college-inspired" it wasn't a rocketship for starters and it had a curvy wood head board and flashing lights. SHe was pissed at me because I was apparently late. So I sent my dad off to go to the store to get the lofting materials (I gave him the right directions in my dream which was weird). While he's gone I look over and ask Timnah where all the college given (that is not the word I want but the one that fits escapes me) furniture. SHe point to this gated area in the rooma nd says" its in the gate....about this time I woke up, thank God. I was a bit paniked to say the least.
Dream 2 ~~ In which My Best Friends hate Me
This dream takes place inside my old HS. However, its this weird castle-y place that is not really my school. Anyway I get there by riding my bike to Nancy's and then putting my bike in her car and driving the rest of the way. We meet up with Jackie at the school and then go inside. We go down into this dungeon and discover that the school play is being prepared for and there are two girls down in the dungeon (or costume room ) getting ready. Since I was the three time costume chief I thought I would help out for a bit since we had nothing to do. Well Jackie and Nancy got mad and left me an then the girls I was helping got mad and ignored me so I went back upstairs to look for Nancy and Jackie. I wander into the gym where they are helping peope off the floor because everyone is getting sick and collapsing. Tus frightened away from the gym I scurry back outside to find my best friends packing up they're cars and getting ready to leave. Nancy begrudginglylets me go get me bike, which she had placed half way up the hill to the schoola nd then I woke up...I guess they really didn't hate me but in the dream it felt like they did.
~*Ery*~
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