Shut up, BRAIN!!!

!!!!!!!! My brain is going a mile a minute and its going every direction at once...My brain is expanding like the Big Bang! I can't focus, I feel like Im ADD or something! Really, I think I'm just in a constant, unrelieved, unrecognized state of nervousness. I feel like everything is happening so fast but then not fast enough. I'm having bad dreams where I lose my friends and my roomate hates me, I can't get past the fact that I have a date tonight, which should not be scary...except that its my first 2nd date ever. And yeah there is a first time for everything and thats just silly remembering a 1st 2nd date but after that its easy (or so I hope! Eee what if its not then what?!?!) I don't know 2nd date etiquette!! I mean, we kissed goodbye, so do we kiss hello? I've lost my mantra!! Help! Oh, getting all that out feels better. I need to chill. Confidence is a state of mind, not a reality. "Be still and know I am God" ~~Psalm 46:10. 3 C's: Calm Cool and Collected. Ooooo. Feeling better already. Those are my real mantras. I say them whenever I start to feel really anxious or scared, or in need of comfort. I find them very helpful.

So my dreams. I'm now calm enough to discuss them without the fear that I might blow up or something.
Dream 1 ~~ In which Timnah Hates Me
So I had this dream the other night where I went to college. I was moving in and it was crazy. I had to take this boat across a lake at night. Then when we got to the campus it was like one huge dorm with hallways off the main corridors leading to individual rooms. My dad and I go into my room and there is Timnah, my roommate, sitting with her mother. SHe has one of those really cool beds that every kid wanted, you know, the one that was shaped like a rocket ship and the bed was inside it. except hers was "college-inspired" it wasn't a rocketship for starters and it had a curvy wood head board and flashing lights. SHe was pissed at me because I was apparently late. So I sent my dad off to go to the store to get the lofting materials (I gave him the right directions in my dream which was weird). While he's gone I look over and ask Timnah where all the college given (that is not the word I want but the one that fits escapes me) furniture. SHe point to this gated area in the rooma nd says" its in the gate....about this time I woke up, thank God. I was a bit paniked to say the least.

Dream 2 ~~ In which My Best Friends hate Me
This dream takes place inside my old HS. However, its this weird castle-y place that is not really my school. Anyway I get there by riding my bike to Nancy's and then putting my bike in her car and driving the rest of the way. We meet up with Jackie at the school and then go inside. We go down into this dungeon and discover that the school play is being prepared for and there are two girls down in the dungeon (or costume room ) getting ready. Since I was the three time costume chief I thought I would help out for a bit since we had nothing to do. Well Jackie and Nancy got mad and left me an then the girls I was helping got mad and ignored me so I went back upstairs to look for Nancy and Jackie. I wander into the gym where they are helping peope off the floor because everyone is getting sick and collapsing. Tus frightened away from the gym I scurry back outside to find my best friends packing up they're cars and getting ready to leave. Nancy begrudginglylets me go get me bike, which she had placed half way up the hill to the schoola nd then I woke up...I guess they really didn't hate me but in the dream it felt like they did.

~*Ery*~