Three Weeks

Ooooo, Exciting right? Three whole weeks, what could the countdown be? Oh hmmm nothing so marvelous as spring break (although that is in three weeks and will be my salvation). No. This is not so much a countdown as a prison sentence. Gordon. Timnah's boyfriend/soon-to-be-fiance will be staying with us for three weeks starting this Friday. Oh yes. It went from: "OH Erycca, Gordon is coming up the week before break and staying so that we can get everything all straightened out job wise and such for the baby." Ok. Who am I to say, no your Baby's Daddy can't stay here. Then it turned into: "Well, he really misses me and wants to see me so he's gonna come up a week earlier, is that ok?? *pout/puppy eyes*" Ugh. Fine, I guess, whatever, its only two weeks, I can survive. I'll be grumpy, but I'll survive. But then today I walk in the room and this is how the conversation goes:
"Ery, can I borrow your card I need to get hockey tickets" --Timnah
"For who?" --Me (Tmnah is a cheerleader at hockey games...she doesn't need a ticket)
"Gordon." -- Timnah
"So he's coming this week then?" --Me
"Well he says its an 80% chance that he'll be here this weekend" *Big huge cheesy smile that screams 'I didn't know but maybe I had an inkling htat I didn't tell you about'* --Timnah
"Eh, uh, yeah you can use my card." (WHat the heck!?!? THis time she doesn't even bother to ask me??? SHe just assumes it will be ok??? How does that work??? And on top of it, I know he didn't just spring the whole idea on her...she had to knowthat he was thinking about it. I mean for goodness sakes they talk three times a day on the phone!) *Gives her a wary look* --Me
"I swear I didn't know he would be able to until now!" -- Timnah

And there is the kicker. She didn't know it was for certain, so she didn't bother to tell me. It seems to me that there is a lot of this not telling Ery stuff going on. And I for one, don't like it. not one bit. It pisses me off that she doesn't bother to tell me important things. Like when she is upset at me over something, or when she and her boyfriend are making plans, WHICH INVOLVE ME.

So, for three weeks I will be living with a person that, a) I don't particularly like b) I'm not supposed to be living with...since he is not Timnah and c) a person that is going to be invading my personal space (its onl a 12x12 room, there isn't a lot of space) Oh sweet Spring Break.

That I long for my break not because of a lack of schoolwork, but because of a lack of Gordon. It sort of ruins the whole experience of anticipation. Boo. I'm very upset right now.

Unfortunately that seems to be the case quite often right now. I'm very rarely in a purely good mood. There is usually something weighing on my mind.

What with TImnah and Cortney constantly having this chip on their shoulders about me or Paul or something. Its weird, you'd think we would be past this point where we for little alliances against the third person. Because its there, and its not just me who can see it. I know that Paul sees it, but hes involved in it (which I'll elaborate on in a minute) and Ben can feel that something is wrong. I don't think he's clear on what, but he knows thta its them against me. We sit at lunch (us four Ben, myself, Timnah and Cortney) and there will be long minutes of silence. And we eat. And its so uncomfortable And when we do talk I don't talk much and Timnah and Cortny seem to try and either provoke me or ignore me completely.

For example: Today I was talking about how people who don't eat but sit around and talk are annoying when I'm closing up the cafeteria and Cortney says oh well I do that, and I say well you should go talk somewhere else so we can clos up faster (not unreasonable I thought) and she's like, no I want to talk here (Why is that necessary I ask you). So I told her to fuck off and then all talk stopped. Its the first time I've let any of the stuff I'm feeling come out. And for some reason I felt bad. I didn't do anything to be treated like this (thats not really a good example...it wasn't really directed at me but blah). So yeah. Ben was just kind of like, hmmm silence. And then it continued, the silence that is.

So yeah, Paul knows. How could he not, the whole hting started when Timnah started telling him stuff about changing me (already described in another post). And its continued. First theres the "you can't share a bed, let me tell her" lie and then its just how we are treated when he is here. .

Stuff

Ok so here are the nice short facts of all the stuff thats going on:

1. Timnah is prenant.
2. I can't stand Timnah's boyfriend, I think he's a jerk, she could do better but yeah, baby.
3. They're getting married and blah all that stuff.
4. Timnah thinks she knows everything ablut having a baby/pregnancy just because she's prenant and it bugs me.
5. She doesn't want to tell anyone, but she's told lots of people already.
6. I can't tell Paul which means I had to lie to him when he asked what the test came out (because I told him there was a "scare" before she said I couldn't tell)
7. Its my fault I had to lie because of idle gossip stuff I shouldn't have brough tup in the first place.
8. We were all going to go to Myrtle Beach for Spring break but I didn't want to go so I backed out because of "money issues" which was the truth, but I really didn't want to go.
9. Now i'm going somewhere with Paul and I feel sort of bad, but our trip is going to be cheaper and unrestrained
10. Unrestrained as in Timnah wasn't going to let us share a bed when we went with the group. Which is silly because we sleep together when he is here, and her boyfriend sleeps with her when he's over, so it is a silly thing to say in the first place.
11. WHats worse is that she told Paul she'd tell me, and then she never did.
12. I haven't said anything about it because things are tense as it is.
13. I'm sort of glad she's pregnant and moving out because now the tension will be gone after this semester and I won't have to worry about feelings being hurt when I say I don't want to room with her.
14. Cortney wants to move in with someone else so I don't have to worry about that either
15. I can go into a roommate blind, we don't have to be friends or anything, just coexist.
16. Ummm I'm feeling bitchy and tired and I miss Paul and I don't really feel like saying anything else now, I'm done.

~*Ery*~