So I'm sitting here in the kitchen tinking that its really late and I wish Paul was here. And I start thinking about how much it sucks that he doesn't want to be here with me at night and that I feel really lonely. My thoughts go to that dark place where I start doubting us and everything we have. I question it and I question myself, my friends, my family. I wonder why I am alone. Why Paul isn't knocing down brick walls to get to me. And I realied that I've been reading too much romance.
For instance, the series I just "finished" (I got to the last completed book...not sure what's next) centered around a brotherhood that were totally devoted to their women. THey would kill other men for getting too close and had incredible sex drives and wanted all the time. The love is ideal and perfect and they came together in a mix of fate and hard headed-ness that takes only days or even hours to be realized. Its unrealistic. As much as that is desirable, its not true. Its fiction. I have a man that loves me. He tells me. He would be crushed if I left for any reason, be it my will or not. And I love him. He puts a smile on my face and when I really do need him he's there. He'll hold me when I'm sad and laugh with me when I'm happy.
Sure, its not perfect. We fight and make-up, but I have to let this book version go. That all consuming love is something to take cues from, not lust after. I can want him and sow him everyday. I can be there for him and fight for him. The book can't. And one day, I think he will do the same for me. I have to stop waiting for each new day to bring about a miraculous change. Just like I'm slowly evolving and improving myself, so is he. One day, we'll be ready for each other; one day we'll be together at the same place. Even if we're only there for a moment...it will happen. That is what I have to put my trust in. The belief that one day we'll meet with the exact same amount of passion and respect. It will be a glorious moment to be hoped for again once it ends. We're human, not fiction. We'll change as the seasons do if not more rapidly.
I love Paul. And, with time, I will grow to love my own achingly slow growth towards him.
Lots of Love,
~*Ery*~
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Two Days Down
THe last couple of days I've felt a little humdrum. I think the combination of all the rainy weather this summer and the extended working hours just took a toll on me. Not to mention all the confusion with money at SUper 8 on monday. I enjoy working when its busy, but it was just out of control for like 2 hours. I was busy and everyone wanted to pay cash. Which meant that I was running back and forth and got really messed up with my cash drawer. People were patient, but I could tell they hated waiting. WHich made me feel bad. By the time my shift was done I had completely screwed up the money in the drawer and the amount that was getting dropped. I had to stay almost an hour late and I was just exhausted. Jackie called the next morning to let me know that everything had been fixed and I didn't really owe the hotel money, but it still sucked to fee like I couldn't handle it.
To top off the bad feeling from that I got behind in my dishes. Since I worked all day Monday I was too tired to do anything about them and just left the dirty water in the sink. Tuesday morning found me grumpy, tired, and not in the mood to deal with any of it. Luckily I was able to go into the Soc. office and just read my book while the computer processed stuff. I got this series from a friend when I was still at Range and I've been putting off reading it because I wasn't sure if I'd like it or not. LOVE IT! I've read 3 books in as many days and I'm so hooked. SO far I'm pretty sure I have all but one book and its the last one so I've still got time to worry about getting that one. So since I 've been feeling crummy and didn't want to do anything, completely retreated into the books.
Yesterday I finally pulled myself out of it though. Katie called and wanted to go for a walk. I looked at my kitchen and just thought: 'I can't have her see it like this'. Katie was born organized and neat and tidy and she knows that I'm trying the FLYing thing. So I just hated to have to worry about seing that look on her face that would make me feel like a failure. So I emptied the sink and stacked the dishes. It took 2 minutes but I was already feeling better about the whole thing. The walk and chit chat with Katie felt good, it got me out of my head and laughing, which I think we both needed; her because wedding stuff was getting to her, and me because I was getting to me. After the walk Paul and I went for a bike ride around the Isle. Oh. That felt so good! We rode right up close to these deer and then down this huuuuge hill (ok, so up the hill wasn't great, but one day I'll be able to do it!) then we saw the deer again. It was just what I needed to feel more alive in my skin. Paul made us both chicken salads for dinner which was perfect. I wasn't in the mood to cook and didn't even feel all that hungry, so a salad was the best thing. Plus it was way healthier than what I had planned for dinner.
To top off the good evening we went and listened to this band play. Well, it was actually just one guy...but he normally has a drummer with him. The band's name is Hozz and he was great! He does mostly covers (though I nknew one of his songs...from the radio! which was super super cool) and they were good covers. I was so excited when he did SImon and Garfunkel's 'Mrs. Robinson' and 'Faithfully' by Journey. I love that song so much. Something about it just gets me. Or maybe I get it. I don't know. Ijust something about it feels gypsy-ish and I feel that way sometimes. Like I'm just passing through on my way to the next destination.
Anyway, I'm feeling much better than I was and I'm really happy to be out of that slump. Cortney and I have plans to meet up today after work which should be a lot of fun. Have I mentioned how happy I am that we're hanging out again? Becaus eI am. I like her alot and I think stuff just got so twisted freshman year that we both needed to grow without the other person for a little while.
Lots of Love,
~*Ery*~
To top off the bad feeling from that I got behind in my dishes. Since I worked all day Monday I was too tired to do anything about them and just left the dirty water in the sink. Tuesday morning found me grumpy, tired, and not in the mood to deal with any of it. Luckily I was able to go into the Soc. office and just read my book while the computer processed stuff. I got this series from a friend when I was still at Range and I've been putting off reading it because I wasn't sure if I'd like it or not. LOVE IT! I've read 3 books in as many days and I'm so hooked. SO far I'm pretty sure I have all but one book and its the last one so I've still got time to worry about getting that one. So since I 've been feeling crummy and didn't want to do anything, completely retreated into the books.
Yesterday I finally pulled myself out of it though. Katie called and wanted to go for a walk. I looked at my kitchen and just thought: 'I can't have her see it like this'. Katie was born organized and neat and tidy and she knows that I'm trying the FLYing thing. So I just hated to have to worry about seing that look on her face that would make me feel like a failure. So I emptied the sink and stacked the dishes. It took 2 minutes but I was already feeling better about the whole thing. The walk and chit chat with Katie felt good, it got me out of my head and laughing, which I think we both needed; her because wedding stuff was getting to her, and me because I was getting to me. After the walk Paul and I went for a bike ride around the Isle. Oh. That felt so good! We rode right up close to these deer and then down this huuuuge hill (ok, so up the hill wasn't great, but one day I'll be able to do it!) then we saw the deer again. It was just what I needed to feel more alive in my skin. Paul made us both chicken salads for dinner which was perfect. I wasn't in the mood to cook and didn't even feel all that hungry, so a salad was the best thing. Plus it was way healthier than what I had planned for dinner.
To top off the good evening we went and listened to this band play. Well, it was actually just one guy...but he normally has a drummer with him. The band's name is Hozz and he was great! He does mostly covers (though I nknew one of his songs...from the radio! which was super super cool) and they were good covers. I was so excited when he did SImon and Garfunkel's 'Mrs. Robinson' and 'Faithfully' by Journey. I love that song so much. Something about it just gets me. Or maybe I get it. I don't know. Ijust something about it feels gypsy-ish and I feel that way sometimes. Like I'm just passing through on my way to the next destination.
Anyway, I'm feeling much better than I was and I'm really happy to be out of that slump. Cortney and I have plans to meet up today after work which should be a lot of fun. Have I mentioned how happy I am that we're hanging out again? Becaus eI am. I like her alot and I think stuff just got so twisted freshman year that we both needed to grow without the other person for a little while.
Lots of Love,
~*Ery*~
Monday, July 21, 2008
Riding Down Hills
I think Paul's finally realizing that I'm making changes in our life. He's starting to put things away and I'm starting to learn how to ask him to do things. Already I don't feel resentful towards him for not helping me. Which I've found...I really like having a clean house for him to come home to. I like cooking him dinner and then serving it to him. It makes me feel like everyday I give him a little gift of my time and effort. I dont knwo that he sees it the same way, but I feel good about helping him. He doesn't always like to take my help if I just outright offer it ( I think it makes him feel weaker for some reason) but if I can help by just making things easier to find and less messy, then I'm happy for that.
Ooo! This weekend we got bikes! I'm so excited about my brand new mode of transport. WHile looking for the best price we ended up getting matching bikes in different sizes. THey are the same colors and everything. I think its really sweet that they match, kind of like a his-hers of bicycles. Paul said that we should have gotten a discount for all the ribbing we were going to take for it. Tim at the office just said it was dorky. But I'm ok with it. I still think its cute. Plus, they are in Paul's favorite color, so he can't be that upset.
Yesterday I rode the 3 miles from home to the Super 8. Man, I knew our town was hilly, butI didn't realize it was one big hill. You can't avoid the thing. I was out of breath, hot and red in the face by the time I got to work. On the upside though, it was all downhill from there. I took a road home that is just straight down until the bottom of the hill so it was super exhilirating. I felt like I was just flying firght off the ground. I loved it!! I don't have the time today (not to mention its rainy outside) to ride, but I really want to. Its the best exercise I've had in a long time. I just love love love love riding my bike!
Ooo! This weekend we got bikes! I'm so excited about my brand new mode of transport. WHile looking for the best price we ended up getting matching bikes in different sizes. THey are the same colors and everything. I think its really sweet that they match, kind of like a his-hers of bicycles. Paul said that we should have gotten a discount for all the ribbing we were going to take for it. Tim at the office just said it was dorky. But I'm ok with it. I still think its cute. Plus, they are in Paul's favorite color, so he can't be that upset.
Yesterday I rode the 3 miles from home to the Super 8. Man, I knew our town was hilly, butI didn't realize it was one big hill. You can't avoid the thing. I was out of breath, hot and red in the face by the time I got to work. On the upside though, it was all downhill from there. I took a road home that is just straight down until the bottom of the hill so it was super exhilirating. I felt like I was just flying firght off the ground. I loved it!! I don't have the time today (not to mention its rainy outside) to ride, but I really want to. Its the best exercise I've had in a long time. I just love love love love riding my bike!
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
A Return To Quizzes
I'm doing a quiz today. Because I can. Also, because I really want to try and return to a time when I talked about my feelings on here. I want to t go back to using this as amy sounding off board. My escape and my safe zone. Its an autobiography that has its ups and downs. I don't want to lose the ups in the downs and I don't want to lose the poetry in the prose. So for that reason I'm going to do a quiz. Its long, but I think it will hit on some things I may have missed. Also...the return of colored text!!
~*Layer One*~
Name: Ery, Sheep, Honey
Birthplace: Downstate
Current location: Working at the college.
~*Layer Two*~
Eye color: Blue
Hair color: Brown (Paul used to think it was red...but its not!)
Height: 5'7"
Righty or lefty: Righty
Zodiac sign: Aries
Heritage: Greek, German and Irish. More stuff mixed in as well
Your weakness: Good food, warm hugs, good smells
Your fears: Being weak, being alone forever, dying unidentified, messing something up in the future
Your ideal pizza: Sausage, mushrooms, olives, onions, green peppers and bacon
Your thoughts when you first wake up: 'Morning already...lets GO!'
Your bedtime: Midnight-1am most nights
Your most missed memory: Being surrounded by girlfriends
~*Layer Three*~
Pepsi or Coke?: Either will work if I need a cola
McDonalds or Burger King?: McDonalds, but I'm trying to cut back now
Single or Group date?: Single. There is something so special about doing something with that special someone and not having to deal with the societal constraints that work within a group
Chocolate or Vanilla?: Vanilla...unless I'm craving chocolate.
Capuccino or coffee?: Latte, please
Apples or Bananas: Apples (so many varieties)
Blue or Red: Blue
Walmart or Kmart: Don't like either really
Math or English: English. Although math is pretty good at filling time when you've got a pad and a pencil
Radio or CD: Radio ( I crave diversity)
Drawing or Painting: Painting.
High School or College: College. The freedom of choice is great. I do miss the comraderie of high school though. And the close friends.
~*Layer Four*~
Smoke: Nope
Cuss: Yeah, unfortunately. But less now than 2 years ago.
Sing: Every chance I get. I want to belt it out all day long.
Shower everyday: Well...I try. Sometimes (like today) I miss a day)
Want to get married: Yes yes yes yes yes I do
Believe in yourself: I want to say yes. I want to also say no. I'm confused about the whole thing right now. I'm scared of failure and I'm scared that I might be one, so then what?
Get motion sickness: On big boats and sometimes in cars. (I carry Dramamine everywhere to fight the feeling)
Think you are attractive: Yes (except in my bridesmaid dress...I looked large and triangular and that was not attractive)
Think you're a health freak: No, I just try to balance everything.
Get along with your parents: Yeah. More so now than when I lived at home. I think its a part of growing up
Play an instrument: No, I really want to learn the piano one day, though
~*Layer Five*~ In the last month have you:
Drank alcohol: Yup...sometimes that happens when you're old enough
Done a drug: Nothing illegal
Had sex: Depends on the definition. Intercourse, no. Other sexual acts...yes. Damn, am I ever annoyed by this whole situation. I want to. I don't want to. We're not, but just barely. Why? I don't even know anymore.
Made out: YEs, but not for nearly long enough. If I could have a good 20 minute kissing session...man oh man I'd be a happy camper.
Gone on a date: Yup!
Gone to the mall: Oh yeah. I love Green Bay, and their mall.
Eaten an entire box of oreos: Nope. Still haven't seen a box of oreos.
Been dumped: No, thank God. Although the way I've been treating him its lucky I haven't. I don't know what gets into me sometimes. Its like a bug crawls up my tush and just begs me to fight.
Gone skating: No, but maybe I will today after dinner.
Made Homemade cookies: I've been thinking about it. Does that count?
Gone skinnydipping: No :( I really want to get in the damn lake.
Dyed your hair: No. I'm putting highlights in right before my trip downstate though. I'm going to look so cute when I go home!
~*Layer Six*~ Have you evers:
Played a game that required you take off clothes: Yes. Not a proud moment, but I'm hiding under the "I was young and foolish" argument
Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Haha. Yessir. Often.
Been caught "doing something": OH jeez. Yes. Lock doors. I'll remember to lock doors for the rest of my life thanks to Cortney, Marc and that stupid movie.
Said "I love you" to someone: Yes, everyday I say it, mean it, and try to show it.
Danced naked: I love dancing. I love being naked. I love doing them together.
Dreamed something really crazy: Who hasn't? Actually my dreams have been quiet for a little while now.
Stalked someone: No.
~*Layer Seven*~
Age you hope to be married: 25? I'm scared of mputting my life on hold. I want to be married. I want to be married sooner rather than later but I don't want to rush into something neither of us is ready for. I want to get married because it's the next logical step. I feel ready to take that leap and I hate that the drone of parents and guidance counsleors and other people say we're too young. This wait till you're older stuff doesn't make sense to me. Wait for what? We're growing together now. We're learning about life together now. Isn't that marriage? Isn't marriage growing up and learning together? Its about life and I want to promote that life. But. What if it really isn't the right time? Will we ever even know? Why wait then? Why not jump in with both feet like we did when we met?
Names and number of children: 2-5 kids. I love kids.
Describe your dream wedding: I want a long white dress with a full skirt. I want a veil and I want a church. Lots of family and friends around for the ceremony and reception afterwards. I wantdelicious food and a great DJ. I want laughter and kisses all night. Tears from the mothers. And I want to walk to Paul at the end of that aisle and at the end of the night and say "I do" to each and every one of those traditional wedding vows.
How do you want to die: Loved
Where do you want to go to college: ALready here.
What do you want to be when you grow up?: A conference coordinator. This is for the big kind of grown up. I dont' think I'll be doing thisuntil my 30's possibly 40's. Sooner would be better. But I can wait.
What country would you most like to visit: Russia, Finland, Greece, France, Thailand
~*Layer Eight*~
Last person who fell asleep in your bed: Me and Paul
Last who saw you cry: Paul
Last person who made you cry: Paul/myself
Last person who spent the night at your house: Brandon I think
Last person you shared a drink with: I wanna say it was Cortney with that mai tai
Last person you went to the movies with: Paul, Ku'u, Brandon...these other two girls whose names I can't remember
Last person you went to the mall with: Katie (oh did we shop)
Last person who yelled at you: Ermmm...I can't remember. Paul doesn't usually yell he just raises his voice a bit. Not a full yell though. Ummm...maybe Katie? I really don't know.
Last times you went out of state:
~*Layer Ten*~
Things you like in a guy: A sense of humor, confidence, the ability to take charge (of me, a situation, a room...that power is just hot), the ability to have fun despite what is manly or masculine or whatever, an easy smile, a good relationship to family, a love/appreciation of small cute things (babies, puppies, etc.), the ability to understand me...even when I don't make sense, the desire to fix things (even when its hard to do)
What book are you reading now: "No Humans Involved" by Kelly Armstrong
What is on your mouse pad: A calendar blotter
Favorite magazine: Cosmo? I don't read magazines very often, but if I am its usually that one.
Favorite sound: Water on the beach, Paul's voice, a really strong piece of music (big notes, good rhythm, good vocals and lots of emotions), children laughing and playing.
Worst feeling in the world: Feeling completely alone and isolated...especially if you are with people. I hate this feeling. I feel it way too often and I hate it.
How many rings before you answer: AS few as possible. I don't like waiting on the phone and I don't want others to have to either.
If you could have any job you wanted what would it be: I'd be singing professionally somewhere, but I don't have the money, the ambition or the strength to take that route.
What are you going to do when you finish this survey: probably write up another entry to try and get some stuff off my chest. That merde-y feeling is back and I don't like it.
~*Layer One*~
Name: Ery, Sheep, Honey
Birthplace: Downstate
Current location: Working at the college.
~*Layer Two*~
Eye color: Blue
Hair color: Brown (Paul used to think it was red...but its not!)
Height: 5'7"
Righty or lefty: Righty
Zodiac sign: Aries
Heritage: Greek, German and Irish. More stuff mixed in as well
Your weakness: Good food, warm hugs, good smells
Your fears: Being weak, being alone forever, dying unidentified, messing something up in the future
Your ideal pizza: Sausage, mushrooms, olives, onions, green peppers and bacon
Your thoughts when you first wake up: 'Morning already...lets GO!'
Your bedtime: Midnight-1am most nights
Your most missed memory: Being surrounded by girlfriends
~*Layer Three*~
Pepsi or Coke?: Either will work if I need a cola
McDonalds or Burger King?: McDonalds, but I'm trying to cut back now
Single or Group date?: Single. There is something so special about doing something with that special someone and not having to deal with the societal constraints that work within a group
Chocolate or Vanilla?: Vanilla...unless I'm craving chocolate.
Capuccino or coffee?: Latte, please
Apples or Bananas: Apples (so many varieties)
Blue or Red: Blue
Walmart or Kmart: Don't like either really
Math or English: English. Although math is pretty good at filling time when you've got a pad and a pencil
Radio or CD: Radio ( I crave diversity)
Drawing or Painting: Painting.
High School or College: College. The freedom of choice is great. I do miss the comraderie of high school though. And the close friends.
~*Layer Four*~
Smoke: Nope
Cuss: Yeah, unfortunately. But less now than 2 years ago.
Sing: Every chance I get. I want to belt it out all day long.
Shower everyday: Well...I try. Sometimes (like today) I miss a day)
Want to get married: Yes yes yes yes yes I do
Believe in yourself: I want to say yes. I want to also say no. I'm confused about the whole thing right now. I'm scared of failure and I'm scared that I might be one, so then what?
Get motion sickness: On big boats and sometimes in cars. (I carry Dramamine everywhere to fight the feeling)
Think you are attractive: Yes (except in my bridesmaid dress...I looked large and triangular and that was not attractive)
Think you're a health freak: No, I just try to balance everything.
Get along with your parents: Yeah. More so now than when I lived at home. I think its a part of growing up
Play an instrument: No, I really want to learn the piano one day, though
~*Layer Five*~ In the last month have you:
Drank alcohol: Yup...sometimes that happens when you're old enough
Done a drug: Nothing illegal
Had sex: Depends on the definition. Intercourse, no. Other sexual acts...yes. Damn, am I ever annoyed by this whole situation. I want to. I don't want to. We're not, but just barely. Why? I don't even know anymore.
Made out: YEs, but not for nearly long enough. If I could have a good 20 minute kissing session...man oh man I'd be a happy camper.
Gone on a date: Yup!
Gone to the mall: Oh yeah. I love Green Bay, and their mall.
Eaten an entire box of oreos: Nope. Still haven't seen a box of oreos.
Been dumped: No, thank God. Although the way I've been treating him its lucky I haven't. I don't know what gets into me sometimes. Its like a bug crawls up my tush and just begs me to fight.
Gone skating: No, but maybe I will today after dinner.
Made Homemade cookies: I've been thinking about it. Does that count?
Gone skinnydipping: No :( I really want to get in the damn lake.
Dyed your hair: No. I'm putting highlights in right before my trip downstate though. I'm going to look so cute when I go home!
~*Layer Six*~ Have you evers:
Played a game that required you take off clothes: Yes. Not a proud moment, but I'm hiding under the "I was young and foolish" argument
Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Haha. Yessir. Often.
Been caught "doing something": OH jeez. Yes. Lock doors. I'll remember to lock doors for the rest of my life thanks to Cortney, Marc and that stupid movie.
Said "I love you" to someone: Yes, everyday I say it, mean it, and try to show it.
Danced naked: I love dancing. I love being naked. I love doing them together.
Dreamed something really crazy: Who hasn't? Actually my dreams have been quiet for a little while now.
Stalked someone: No.
~*Layer Seven*~
Age you hope to be married: 25? I'm scared of mputting my life on hold. I want to be married. I want to be married sooner rather than later but I don't want to rush into something neither of us is ready for. I want to get married because it's the next logical step. I feel ready to take that leap and I hate that the drone of parents and guidance counsleors and other people say we're too young. This wait till you're older stuff doesn't make sense to me. Wait for what? We're growing together now. We're learning about life together now. Isn't that marriage? Isn't marriage growing up and learning together? Its about life and I want to promote that life. But. What if it really isn't the right time? Will we ever even know? Why wait then? Why not jump in with both feet like we did when we met?
Names and number of children: 2-5 kids. I love kids.
Describe your dream wedding: I want a long white dress with a full skirt. I want a veil and I want a church. Lots of family and friends around for the ceremony and reception afterwards. I wantdelicious food and a great DJ. I want laughter and kisses all night. Tears from the mothers. And I want to walk to Paul at the end of that aisle and at the end of the night and say "I do" to each and every one of those traditional wedding vows.
How do you want to die: Loved
Where do you want to go to college: ALready here.
What do you want to be when you grow up?: A conference coordinator. This is for the big kind of grown up. I dont' think I'll be doing thisuntil my 30's possibly 40's. Sooner would be better. But I can wait.
What country would you most like to visit: Russia, Finland, Greece, France, Thailand
~*Layer Eight*~
Last person who fell asleep in your bed: Me and Paul
Last who saw you cry: Paul
Last person who made you cry: Paul/myself
Last person who spent the night at your house: Brandon I think
Last person you shared a drink with: I wanna say it was Cortney with that mai tai
Last person you went to the movies with: Paul, Ku'u, Brandon...these other two girls whose names I can't remember
Last person you went to the mall with: Katie (oh did we shop)
Last person who yelled at you: Ermmm...I can't remember. Paul doesn't usually yell he just raises his voice a bit. Not a full yell though. Ummm...maybe Katie? I really don't know.
Last times you went out of state:
~*Layer Ten*~
Things you like in a guy: A sense of humor, confidence, the ability to take charge (of me, a situation, a room...that power is just hot), the ability to have fun despite what is manly or masculine or whatever, an easy smile, a good relationship to family, a love/appreciation of small cute things (babies, puppies, etc.), the ability to understand me...even when I don't make sense, the desire to fix things (even when its hard to do)
What book are you reading now: "No Humans Involved" by Kelly Armstrong
What is on your mouse pad: A calendar blotter
Favorite magazine: Cosmo? I don't read magazines very often, but if I am its usually that one.
Favorite sound: Water on the beach, Paul's voice, a really strong piece of music (big notes, good rhythm, good vocals and lots of emotions), children laughing and playing.
Worst feeling in the world: Feeling completely alone and isolated...especially if you are with people. I hate this feeling. I feel it way too often and I hate it.
How many rings before you answer: AS few as possible. I don't like waiting on the phone and I don't want others to have to either.
If you could have any job you wanted what would it be: I'd be singing professionally somewhere, but I don't have the money, the ambition or the strength to take that route.
What are you going to do when you finish this survey: probably write up another entry to try and get some stuff off my chest. That merde-y feeling is back and I don't like it.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Shopping!!
In my excitement over my leg hair anddriving details I completely forgot about my mini-vacation last Thursday.
Katie and I had to go pick up my bridesmaid's dress at David's Bridal on Thursday and since the store is a whopping 4 hours away we made a day of it. We got to the store around 11:30am and then spent the next few hours hitting up stores they don't have at home. I got the cutest top and bracelet at Maurices (ok, we do have one of these...but the one in the city was bigger). Even though I way overpaid on the bracelet I didn't care. It was a shopping day!! Then I made a huge steal at Victoria's Secret. Like, 2 pairs of panites and a lingerie set for...under$20. Oh yeah, I totally made up for the poor bargain shopping at Maurices. Let's see...then we found the Mecca and Jerusalem of shoe stores. The Aldo Sale Store. *Golden light from above shines down* All kinds of top brand shoes at seriously discounted prices. I got shoes and two bags. YEA! Wet Seal was next where the cutest jean skirt in history was purchased along with a maxi dress. WHy are they called that? It makes me think of maxi pads...anyway. That was the last purchase (tears) but I'm not too sad because it meant we were ready for Hu Hot dinner!
Ok. That whole paragraph reads like a consumerists dream, but really it was girl time. We had a whole day to chit chat and just have some fun. We tried on way more than we bought and trully enjoyed ourselves. Plus, I did just make a big Salvation Army donation..so I was looking for some clothes (and now I've got more things I can donate since I updated them on Thursday)
All in all it was a really fun escape from the everyday. I could have done without the fog on the way home, but even that couldn't dampen (heehee) my spirits too much.
Lots of Love,
~*Ery*~
Katie and I had to go pick up my bridesmaid's dress at David's Bridal on Thursday and since the store is a whopping 4 hours away we made a day of it. We got to the store around 11:30am and then spent the next few hours hitting up stores they don't have at home. I got the cutest top and bracelet at Maurices (ok, we do have one of these...but the one in the city was bigger). Even though I way overpaid on the bracelet I didn't care. It was a shopping day!! Then I made a huge steal at Victoria's Secret. Like, 2 pairs of panites and a lingerie set for...under$20. Oh yeah, I totally made up for the poor bargain shopping at Maurices. Let's see...then we found the Mecca and Jerusalem of shoe stores. The Aldo Sale Store. *Golden light from above shines down* All kinds of top brand shoes at seriously discounted prices. I got shoes and two bags. YEA! Wet Seal was next where the cutest jean skirt in history was purchased along with a maxi dress. WHy are they called that? It makes me think of maxi pads...anyway. That was the last purchase (tears) but I'm not too sad because it meant we were ready for Hu Hot dinner!
Ok. That whole paragraph reads like a consumerists dream, but really it was girl time. We had a whole day to chit chat and just have some fun. We tried on way more than we bought and trully enjoyed ourselves. Plus, I did just make a big Salvation Army donation..so I was looking for some clothes (and now I've got more things I can donate since I updated them on Thursday)
All in all it was a really fun escape from the everyday. I could have done without the fog on the way home, but even that couldn't dampen (heehee) my spirits too much.
Lots of Love,
~*Ery*~
My Stems...and Other Happenings
An update on my stem de-hairing. Veet is pretty nifty stuff! As promised on their website my hair didn't feel prickly the next day. In fact, yesterday was the first day I felt really any hair. And its surprisingly already longish. It got past the poke-y part to go straight to the long soft spot, its aMAZing!
I wonder...can I use it in other places (armits, bikini line)? It doesn't say not to...hmmm.
Other Happenings
Today I start my two weeks of Tina free office work. Its both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because I don't have to deal with her mood swings and lack of pregnancy woes. A curse, because I don't have anything to do and can't halep anyone due to the fact that Tina keeps everything of office importance to herself. I get all the gossip and what not that I could hope for, but nothing of office value. No real responsibilities. I'm not sure why, but I think it could be that she doesn't want to let go of the control she has over things. Which is fine...until she isn't here to be the brains of the operation. Ah well, I suppose I might try and tidy her desk a bit. AS a surprise for when she gets back.
I'm flutter-FLYing again. I fell off the band wagon for a little bit. I think the babysteps were just a bit to slow. I mean, I get the point, but sometimes you just gotta jump in there I think. So that's what I did this time. I'm only doing the things I know I can handle, but I'm jumping right in. Skipped the whole post-it note thing this time and went straight for the Control Journal. My post-its just seemed angry at me and made me guilty. The Journal is a better system (I don't know why, it just works that way!) I'm swish and swiping my bathrooms clean and its a great feeling. I get happy everytime I'm in the bathroom!
Ohh! I'm also gearing up for my semi-annual trip to the parent's house on Aug. 1st. Paul is coming with me which is the first time in over a year that he'll be home with me. Everyone is so excited to see/meet him. Its funny, I say I'm coming and everyone goes "Is Paul coming?" I'm clearly loved. Ah well. I've got all kinds of fun stuff in the works. Here is a look at my starter schedule:
7/31: Drive 8 hours to get home at midnight. This would require some schedule changes at work but would result in a whole extra day with the family instead of a day wasted in the car. Granted, we could always leave reeeeeaaaaally early on Friday (Like at 5am and then we'd still make it to my parent's house by...1pm. Hmm if we left at 4am that arrival time could be noon and we'd miss evening traffic on a Friday and have the majority of a day left. Plus I wouldn't be skimping on the job situation. This plan could be a possibility. With 2 drivers it just might work. Plus if one of us is sleeping half the time it wouldn't seem nearly so long of a drive.... I like it.)
8/1: Spend the day seeing people in town and helping mom eliminate stress pre-party.
8/2: Continue to help get everything ready for Devynn's grad party, then whoop it up in her honor with family, old and new friends.
8/3 - 8/6: Assorted fun activities, including...but not limited to --> a double date with Devynn and Charles, a mother-daughter girls night out with Jackie, Nancy, Jen, myself and our mothers, and baby-sightings of the choir girls (aka new mommy Becca and new mommy-to-be Elisabeth).
8/7: Drive back up north for a restful evening at home before work the next day.
I'm really kind of liking that early early start idea. I'll have to discuss it with Paul, but I think it would be awesome. I mean, we'd spend the first few hours on back roads up north so no traffic and probably very few cops. Lets see...at 7pm we be...still pretty far north so no rush hour traffic in the city. Ooo this could be awesome! And if we packed the car before we left, all we'd have to do would be to stumble out to the car at 4am. The driver could grab some caffeine and breakfast while the other person cashed out in the backseat. Switch out 4 hours later and everyone would get plenty of sleep. So excited to tell Paul!!
ALright. WIth that excitement and flurry of planning, I'm gonna sign off. I think I've got some menu planning and shopping lists to make up.
Lots of Love,
~*Ery*~
I wonder...can I use it in other places (armits, bikini line)? It doesn't say not to...hmmm.
Other Happenings
Today I start my two weeks of Tina free office work. Its both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because I don't have to deal with her mood swings and lack of pregnancy woes. A curse, because I don't have anything to do and can't halep anyone due to the fact that Tina keeps everything of office importance to herself. I get all the gossip and what not that I could hope for, but nothing of office value. No real responsibilities. I'm not sure why, but I think it could be that she doesn't want to let go of the control she has over things. Which is fine...until she isn't here to be the brains of the operation. Ah well, I suppose I might try and tidy her desk a bit. AS a surprise for when she gets back.
I'm flutter-FLYing again. I fell off the band wagon for a little bit. I think the babysteps were just a bit to slow. I mean, I get the point, but sometimes you just gotta jump in there I think. So that's what I did this time. I'm only doing the things I know I can handle, but I'm jumping right in. Skipped the whole post-it note thing this time and went straight for the Control Journal. My post-its just seemed angry at me and made me guilty. The Journal is a better system (I don't know why, it just works that way!) I'm swish and swiping my bathrooms clean and its a great feeling. I get happy everytime I'm in the bathroom!
Ohh! I'm also gearing up for my semi-annual trip to the parent's house on Aug. 1st. Paul is coming with me which is the first time in over a year that he'll be home with me. Everyone is so excited to see/meet him. Its funny, I say I'm coming and everyone goes "Is Paul coming?" I'm clearly loved. Ah well. I've got all kinds of fun stuff in the works. Here is a look at my starter schedule:
7/31: Drive 8 hours to get home at midnight. This would require some schedule changes at work but would result in a whole extra day with the family instead of a day wasted in the car. Granted, we could always leave reeeeeaaaaally early on Friday (Like at 5am and then we'd still make it to my parent's house by...1pm. Hmm if we left at 4am that arrival time could be noon and we'd miss evening traffic on a Friday and have the majority of a day left. Plus I wouldn't be skimping on the job situation. This plan could be a possibility. With 2 drivers it just might work. Plus if one of us is sleeping half the time it wouldn't seem nearly so long of a drive.... I like it.)
8/1: Spend the day seeing people in town and helping mom eliminate stress pre-party.
8/2: Continue to help get everything ready for Devynn's grad party, then whoop it up in her honor with family, old and new friends.
8/3 - 8/6: Assorted fun activities, including...but not limited to --> a double date with Devynn and Charles, a mother-daughter girls night out with Jackie, Nancy, Jen, myself and our mothers, and baby-sightings of the choir girls (aka new mommy Becca and new mommy-to-be Elisabeth).
8/7: Drive back up north for a restful evening at home before work the next day.
I'm really kind of liking that early early start idea. I'll have to discuss it with Paul, but I think it would be awesome. I mean, we'd spend the first few hours on back roads up north so no traffic and probably very few cops. Lets see...at 7pm we be...still pretty far north so no rush hour traffic in the city. Ooo this could be awesome! And if we packed the car before we left, all we'd have to do would be to stumble out to the car at 4am. The driver could grab some caffeine and breakfast while the other person cashed out in the backseat. Switch out 4 hours later and everyone would get plenty of sleep. So excited to tell Paul!!
ALright. WIth that excitement and flurry of planning, I'm gonna sign off. I think I've got some menu planning and shopping lists to make up.
Lots of Love,
~*Ery*~
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
Hair Removal
Oh hair removal, why must you be so burdensome?
In my last post I stated that I was going to try sugaring for the first time. Which I did...with little success. So, since I was on a "different-than-shaving" hair removal kind of mood I tried Veet. A little better. I will share both experiences. I tried both on my lower legs (just under my knees)
Sugaring
(First some history) Sugaring is a practice that originated in the middle east. It is similar to waxing, in that the hair is pulled from the body by the root (rather than cut or dissolved at skin layer). This in turn allows the area to be smooth and hair-free for 3-4 weeks (depending on personal hair growth rates). In contrast to wax, sugaring is traditionally used without strips, rather it is a thicker, putty-like substance that is spread with the hand (heated with body heat) and then pulled off with the hand. It is also a substance that can be made at home, rather than purchased. The recipe I used was 2 C. sugar, 1/4 C. lime juice, and 1/4 C. water. THis are mixed in a pan then heated to the "soft-ball" stage of candy making after reaching this stage it is cooled and then used in the method I described above.
I think...this is where I went wrong. I don't think my sugar mixture ever got to the right stage. It was the right color (amber brown), but when I dropped some into water it just sort of formed a thin sheet of sugar-stuff. But I was impatient and cooled it at that point anyway. Two days later, after it had obviously cooled I realized that it was no where near thick enough to act as its own pulling mechanism. As soon as I spread some on my legs it turned into a liquid-y mess, that was content to stay where I put it.So I went to the bathroom, washed my leg off (the joy of sugaring is that its water soluble...easily washed with water) and thought about what to do. I figured that since it was pretty liquid-y I could just heat it in the microwave for a bit then use it like a wax, with strips. I had an old white sheet that I was using as a drip mat anyway so I cut that up into the strips needed and got to work.
OW! In all of the websites that I browsed, trying to find one about the pain associated, the onlty thingI came across was that it was less painful than waxing. Well waxing must have a good deal of pain involved because this stuff hurt! It was kind of a sharp burst (kind of like if you spill hot coffee on yourself) but then it just went to a small, dull ache for a second then turned red and abused looking. So I guess it wasn't horrible...but bad enough that after the first one I went "Wow...ok... I can't imagine that near my bikini line" Unfortunatly, despite the pain of the yank, only about half the hair came out. THinking this was just because it was my first try AI tried about 10 more. Same thing. 2 of 10 came back with all the hair gone... 20% accuracy, not so good. Plus my leg was read and felt al ittle bumpy. I put aloe lotion on it and tried not to rub them against anything and went to bed. The next day I noticed that the 2 spots where allt he hair came off look really nice, and were quite smooth. My legs werent' red anymore and even though they had hurt the day before, it was all gone by morning. I dumped my homemade sugaring stuff, and I think in a few weeks I'm gonna try a store bought wax and see if that goes better. I've gotta wait for all the hair to grow back first though. I never understood thatabout waxing. You get 3 weeks of blissfully smooth legs, but have to wait through 2 weeks to get hair long enough to wax again.
Veet
Veet is a dipilatory. It dissolves the surface hair and is then washed or "shaved" away. On their website Veet has a video f the procedure and the explanation of why its better than shaving. Apparently it makes the hair rounded instead of sharp like shaving, thus making the "prickles" that grow back seem less prickley. We'll see.
I followed the instructions on the bottle and put the gel cream on my legs (since they are now weirdly patch-y with hair after the sugaring) then waited about 4 minutes. It said three...but after the sugaring thing I decided that my hair is stubborn and needs some persuasion to be separated from me.
I started using the little thing shapped like a razor to remove the cream. It was nice to not have to worry about cutting myself, also I got to do it next to the sink so I was a lot studier (with my foot on the toilet instead of balanced on a tiny ledge in the bathroom. I started to feel a tiny burn start up so I finished quickly and hopped in the shower and rinsed off the residual. My legs felt super smooth. Like, the best shave of my lfe smooth. A little bit of hair is left (near my right ankle) But its not noticeable and I think it can be chalked up to human error. I really liked this. Granted it is a little pricey (about $7 per kit) but if it lasts longer than shaving, I could be converted. I do wonder about using this near my bikini line and underarms. THe box and website don't say not to, but it doesn't say it can be used there either. I guess I'll just have to guinea pig it!
Well that was long. Hope this helps anyone who comes across it (or at the least, helps me remember what happened)
Lots of Love,
~*Ery*~
In my last post I stated that I was going to try sugaring for the first time. Which I did...with little success. So, since I was on a "different-than-shaving" hair removal kind of mood I tried Veet. A little better. I will share both experiences. I tried both on my lower legs (just under my knees)
Sugaring
(First some history) Sugaring is a practice that originated in the middle east. It is similar to waxing, in that the hair is pulled from the body by the root (rather than cut or dissolved at skin layer). This in turn allows the area to be smooth and hair-free for 3-4 weeks (depending on personal hair growth rates). In contrast to wax, sugaring is traditionally used without strips, rather it is a thicker, putty-like substance that is spread with the hand (heated with body heat) and then pulled off with the hand. It is also a substance that can be made at home, rather than purchased. The recipe I used was 2 C. sugar, 1/4 C. lime juice, and 1/4 C. water. THis are mixed in a pan then heated to the "soft-ball" stage of candy making after reaching this stage it is cooled and then used in the method I described above.
I think...this is where I went wrong. I don't think my sugar mixture ever got to the right stage. It was the right color (amber brown), but when I dropped some into water it just sort of formed a thin sheet of sugar-stuff. But I was impatient and cooled it at that point anyway. Two days later, after it had obviously cooled I realized that it was no where near thick enough to act as its own pulling mechanism. As soon as I spread some on my legs it turned into a liquid-y mess, that was content to stay where I put it.So I went to the bathroom, washed my leg off (the joy of sugaring is that its water soluble...easily washed with water) and thought about what to do. I figured that since it was pretty liquid-y I could just heat it in the microwave for a bit then use it like a wax, with strips. I had an old white sheet that I was using as a drip mat anyway so I cut that up into the strips needed and got to work.
OW! In all of the websites that I browsed, trying to find one about the pain associated, the onlty thingI came across was that it was less painful than waxing. Well waxing must have a good deal of pain involved because this stuff hurt! It was kind of a sharp burst (kind of like if you spill hot coffee on yourself) but then it just went to a small, dull ache for a second then turned red and abused looking. So I guess it wasn't horrible...but bad enough that after the first one I went "Wow...ok... I can't imagine that near my bikini line" Unfortunatly, despite the pain of the yank, only about half the hair came out. THinking this was just because it was my first try AI tried about 10 more. Same thing. 2 of 10 came back with all the hair gone... 20% accuracy, not so good. Plus my leg was read and felt al ittle bumpy. I put aloe lotion on it and tried not to rub them against anything and went to bed. The next day I noticed that the 2 spots where allt he hair came off look really nice, and were quite smooth. My legs werent' red anymore and even though they had hurt the day before, it was all gone by morning. I dumped my homemade sugaring stuff, and I think in a few weeks I'm gonna try a store bought wax and see if that goes better. I've gotta wait for all the hair to grow back first though. I never understood thatabout waxing. You get 3 weeks of blissfully smooth legs, but have to wait through 2 weeks to get hair long enough to wax again.
Veet
Veet is a dipilatory. It dissolves the surface hair and is then washed or "shaved" away. On their website Veet has a video f the procedure and the explanation of why its better than shaving. Apparently it makes the hair rounded instead of sharp like shaving, thus making the "prickles" that grow back seem less prickley. We'll see.
I followed the instructions on the bottle and put the gel cream on my legs (since they are now weirdly patch-y with hair after the sugaring) then waited about 4 minutes. It said three...but after the sugaring thing I decided that my hair is stubborn and needs some persuasion to be separated from me.
I started using the little thing shapped like a razor to remove the cream. It was nice to not have to worry about cutting myself, also I got to do it next to the sink so I was a lot studier (with my foot on the toilet instead of balanced on a tiny ledge in the bathroom. I started to feel a tiny burn start up so I finished quickly and hopped in the shower and rinsed off the residual. My legs felt super smooth. Like, the best shave of my lfe smooth. A little bit of hair is left (near my right ankle) But its not noticeable and I think it can be chalked up to human error. I really liked this. Granted it is a little pricey (about $7 per kit) but if it lasts longer than shaving, I could be converted. I do wonder about using this near my bikini line and underarms. THe box and website don't say not to, but it doesn't say it can be used there either. I guess I'll just have to guinea pig it!
Well that was long. Hope this helps anyone who comes across it (or at the least, helps me remember what happened)
Lots of Love,
~*Ery*~
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
Sunny Day
Its gorgeous out!! THe sun is shining there is a light breeze and its warm! Lucky for me all I have to do today is work 12 hours (hmm sarcasm much?). On the upside I do get to buy a pair of cute shoes and make yummy dinner. I'm happy.
I planned a week's menu last night. It was hard to get into, but in the end I found that it really helped with grocery shopping. I didn't buy anything I didn't need (although I forgot rice, so I'll have to substitute a different starch). Plus I've already thought of starches and veggies to go with each dinner. Most will have leftovers for work the next day and I even planned meals for when Paul is gone to camp. This way, I can eat the stuff I like, without making him feel like he has to eat a PB&J sandwich for dinner.
So I decided that the easiest way for me to do some of the FLYlady stuff was to do the babysteps as proscribed and then add in a couple more. Like the menu planning. I don't even know when that would start happening, but it sounded fun. Why not do something fun? I mean, if its enjoyable it can't be work, right? Hopefully that logic holds.
Ooo! Yesterday I found a recipe for a watermelon gazpacho, and I am so excited to try it out! It has watermelon, cucumbers peppers and shallots in it. I think it'l;l be really really good. Plus it go awesome reviews online. I might try it next week when Paul comes home. I also want to try the summer gratin recipe out on Paul. It was really good in class so I think he might eat it.
Hmm, not much else going on. I have my first day on the job all by myself today. I'm really excited/nervous. I hope nothing goes wrong. I figure if I just do what I'm supposed to do then I should be just fine! On that note, I'm gonna go back to imaginary shoe shopping (you know, the shopping you do for fancy shoes you can't afford)
Lots of Love,
~*Ery*~
P.S. My sunburn didn't peel!! Oh! And tomorrow I'm gonna try sugaring. More on that to come later.
I planned a week's menu last night. It was hard to get into, but in the end I found that it really helped with grocery shopping. I didn't buy anything I didn't need (although I forgot rice, so I'll have to substitute a different starch). Plus I've already thought of starches and veggies to go with each dinner. Most will have leftovers for work the next day and I even planned meals for when Paul is gone to camp. This way, I can eat the stuff I like, without making him feel like he has to eat a PB&J sandwich for dinner.
So I decided that the easiest way for me to do some of the FLYlady stuff was to do the babysteps as proscribed and then add in a couple more. Like the menu planning. I don't even know when that would start happening, but it sounded fun. Why not do something fun? I mean, if its enjoyable it can't be work, right? Hopefully that logic holds.
Ooo! Yesterday I found a recipe for a watermelon gazpacho, and I am so excited to try it out! It has watermelon, cucumbers peppers and shallots in it. I think it'l;l be really really good. Plus it go awesome reviews online. I might try it next week when Paul comes home. I also want to try the summer gratin recipe out on Paul. It was really good in class so I think he might eat it.
Hmm, not much else going on. I have my first day on the job all by myself today. I'm really excited/nervous. I hope nothing goes wrong. I figure if I just do what I'm supposed to do then I should be just fine! On that note, I'm gonna go back to imaginary shoe shopping (you know, the shopping you do for fancy shoes you can't afford)
Lots of Love,
~*Ery*~
P.S. My sunburn didn't peel!! Oh! And tomorrow I'm gonna try sugaring. More on that to come later.
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