I did yoga today! Yea! I went to the PEIF today with Erin and Leah. It was fun. Mostly because I got to do yoga! I like doing yoga. It always makes me feel so relaxed and energized all at the same time. Ummm that's probably the onely thing I have to day about today.
Oh and I miss Paul. Which is strange considering that we're so close now. Like I didn't talk to him last night on the phone. And we havn't really talked on the phone in a while. Even though we aren't seening each other every day. I don't like it. And today he's had an away message up that says he's in class but the last classes for the day ar eover by 9:20 and he only has a late class on Thursday anyway so I don't understand where he could be. And I don't know why he wouldn't answer his phone. I think I'm feeling paranoid for some weird reason. Not paranoid like he's cheating or anything, because I know he wouldn't do something like that. But just worried about why he isn't interested in contacting me at all. Like I'll leave him messages on email, facebook, and AIM and he doesn't return any of them. I don't think anything's wrong but I don't know and I don't want to ask and I don't want to let him know that I'm feeling like this. But I don't like the way things are moving either. I feel like we aren't talking and I'm sad. I miss him.
Lots of Love
~*Ery*~
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Sunday, January 21, 2007
A New Year
I want my textbooks! I ordered textbooks off amazon.com last thursday and i've only received one so far! And of course it the one I need least of all.
This was a ... good first week of classes. Man though, my schedule is kind of crazy. Mondays and Wednesdays I've got classes and work for 11 hours total. But Tuesdays and Thursdays I don't work more than 5 hours and no classes at all. Friday - Sunday I've got nothing at all! I don't know if I like it or hate it. One good thing is that I have plenty of time on my Tues, and Thurs. to take care of things on and off campus. Things like donating plasma and homework.
I'm so not excited about having to start giving plasma again. I don't konw if I've explained plasma yet but here goes. There is this center near my school that is there for people to donate blood plasma for phamacies to use in medicines. The reason its such a big deal though is that they pay for the plasma. Well actually, they pay for the time it takes to give the plasma. Its illegal to pay money for bodily fluids, or really any part of your body ( a little thing called prostitution, ya know?). Its actually not that bad. They stick you with a needle and then you sit there for an hour as they they take blood out, spin it, and then return the blood cells (minus the plasma) back to you through the same needle. They repeat this process several times over the course of the hour. There's not really any pain, its just kind of uncomfortable and annoying. Mostly because I thought I was past the point of having to go there for money (Its pretty good, $200 if you do it twice a week for a month). My lack of a job over break has left me nearly penniless with bills and things piling up. I hate money. Its annoying.
This weekend was pretty good. Paul and I hung out with a couple that he's know since he was a kid. They're fun. We went out to this really good Creole place in town. And then we watched some movies. Ooo! Watched "Conversation(s) with other women" Which was pretty cool. It was shot in a split screen and its about past lovers who meet again years later. I loved it!
now I'm all sore from going to the PEIF the next day and starting to actually get back in shape. My butt hurts. And that's the result of a year of nothing.
Went to church tonight. Sarah (the roomie) came with. I was really excited because over and over she's talked about how she doesn't really like Catholic masses for one reason or another. So when she said she would go tonight I was excited. But then we left and she mentioned that she felt out of place and Paul noted that she wasn't alone. I felt really bad. I mean, I thought that I had been pretty open about gong to different churches with him and letting him know that if he had any questions he could come to me about them...but apparently he's still uncomfortable. I don't know what it is. Like, maybe he just isn't a church person. I love going to church, but maybe he just doesn't enjoy it like I do. *Shurg* I guess its something tha tI'l lhave to talk to him about.
Now I'm walking "Strong Medicine" instead of going to bed. I don't really feel like going to sleep yet, plus I love this show. Ok... I think i'm done rambling for a bit.
Lots of Love,
~*Ery*~
This was a ... good first week of classes. Man though, my schedule is kind of crazy. Mondays and Wednesdays I've got classes and work for 11 hours total. But Tuesdays and Thursdays I don't work more than 5 hours and no classes at all. Friday - Sunday I've got nothing at all! I don't know if I like it or hate it. One good thing is that I have plenty of time on my Tues, and Thurs. to take care of things on and off campus. Things like donating plasma and homework.
I'm so not excited about having to start giving plasma again. I don't konw if I've explained plasma yet but here goes. There is this center near my school that is there for people to donate blood plasma for phamacies to use in medicines. The reason its such a big deal though is that they pay for the plasma. Well actually, they pay for the time it takes to give the plasma. Its illegal to pay money for bodily fluids, or really any part of your body ( a little thing called prostitution, ya know?). Its actually not that bad. They stick you with a needle and then you sit there for an hour as they they take blood out, spin it, and then return the blood cells (minus the plasma) back to you through the same needle. They repeat this process several times over the course of the hour. There's not really any pain, its just kind of uncomfortable and annoying. Mostly because I thought I was past the point of having to go there for money (Its pretty good, $200 if you do it twice a week for a month). My lack of a job over break has left me nearly penniless with bills and things piling up. I hate money. Its annoying.
This weekend was pretty good. Paul and I hung out with a couple that he's know since he was a kid. They're fun. We went out to this really good Creole place in town. And then we watched some movies. Ooo! Watched "Conversation(s) with other women" Which was pretty cool. It was shot in a split screen and its about past lovers who meet again years later. I loved it!
now I'm all sore from going to the PEIF the next day and starting to actually get back in shape. My butt hurts. And that's the result of a year of nothing.
Went to church tonight. Sarah (the roomie) came with. I was really excited because over and over she's talked about how she doesn't really like Catholic masses for one reason or another. So when she said she would go tonight I was excited. But then we left and she mentioned that she felt out of place and Paul noted that she wasn't alone. I felt really bad. I mean, I thought that I had been pretty open about gong to different churches with him and letting him know that if he had any questions he could come to me about them...but apparently he's still uncomfortable. I don't know what it is. Like, maybe he just isn't a church person. I love going to church, but maybe he just doesn't enjoy it like I do. *Shurg* I guess its something tha tI'l lhave to talk to him about.
Now I'm walking "Strong Medicine" instead of going to bed. I don't really feel like going to sleep yet, plus I love this show. Ok... I think i'm done rambling for a bit.
Lots of Love,
~*Ery*~
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Winter Semester
Dum dum di dum. So yeah here I am again. Sitting in my dorm room. not doing anything and just waiting for classes to start. I'm so ready for new classes to start. Its like a new leaf, everything starts all over again. A clean slate. I love that feeling. And it coincides perfectly with the New Year and everything.
I'm reading a book right now about female empowerment. Its making me think a lot about how women look at our selves and how we cut ourselves down more than anyone else does. I want to try really hard this year to think of myself as fine and perfect the way I am. Its going to be hard though because my suitemates and I have decided to work out this semester and try to eat healthier. The only thing I'm worried about is that I'm not going to focus on health and not my actual size. I have to remember that I don't need to lose weight, just get healthier.
Wow I've got nothing to really talk about here. I'm just kind of bored. I went to the library and got a book but I couldn't check it out because of course I've got a fine so my account is locked up so I can't check out any books. Oh well, I'll pay it eventually.
I just had a strange thought about bouquets. Its interesting how right now when I go to a wedding I want to catch the bouquet, but then at the same time I don't want to actually catch it because I don't know what in the world I would do with it. I mean the bouquet has all the implications attached and I want those implications. WOohoo married. But I so don't want the ooo you caught the bouquet. And I don't want to look lik eI want to catch the bouquet. But I really do. Just to say I caught it. And then, I don't know, maybe save it? Ah well. Just a ramndom thought.
~*Ery*~
I'm reading a book right now about female empowerment. Its making me think a lot about how women look at our selves and how we cut ourselves down more than anyone else does. I want to try really hard this year to think of myself as fine and perfect the way I am. Its going to be hard though because my suitemates and I have decided to work out this semester and try to eat healthier. The only thing I'm worried about is that I'm not going to focus on health and not my actual size. I have to remember that I don't need to lose weight, just get healthier.
Wow I've got nothing to really talk about here. I'm just kind of bored. I went to the library and got a book but I couldn't check it out because of course I've got a fine so my account is locked up so I can't check out any books. Oh well, I'll pay it eventually.
I just had a strange thought about bouquets. Its interesting how right now when I go to a wedding I want to catch the bouquet, but then at the same time I don't want to actually catch it because I don't know what in the world I would do with it. I mean the bouquet has all the implications attached and I want those implications. WOohoo married. But I so don't want the ooo you caught the bouquet. And I don't want to look lik eI want to catch the bouquet. But I really do. Just to say I caught it. And then, I don't know, maybe save it? Ah well. Just a ramndom thought.
~*Ery*~
Friday, January 12, 2007
Winter
Snow is finally falling! Well we had snow before Christmas but not its falling again after a long month of zero snow.
I'm at Paul's Apt. right now waiting for him to get back from the PEIF (Physical Education Instructional Facility). His brother Todd and his girlfriend Jaimi are coming over soon and we're going to eat pizza! Yea pizza. Its interesting being here by myself. I mean, I don't live here, yet (come May and I move in too!) so its strange. Plus its al empty and un lived in because they haven't completely moved in yet. Like there is now dining room table or cable anywhere so its a lot of just sitting around upstairs because downstairs in teh dining/lioving area there isn't really much to do. At least up here there are computers and movies and video games. And sleeping. You can sleep in bedrooms. Yeah I'm a little bored. I felt the urge to write last night but I'm glad I didn't because I was trully just feeling rather PMS-y and was oddly depressed about my relationship. Which really isn't the case. I'm really happy with Paul and all his best parts and worst parts. I love all of him I just had a serious mistrust in myself last night. Like I was going over and over in my head why I should just not be thereat the moment and how my life was going somewhere I didn't want it to . But the truth is I like very much where my life is going. I've made this p;ath. I like that i can sleep next to my boyfriend at night. I like that in under five months we'll be living together. What I don't like are my weak moments of panic. I hate that feeling. That 'Oh no what has happened, what am I doing, how can I fix it?' feeling. Its stupid. I know that if at one of those weak moments I were to break up with him or something the next day or next minute I would fall apart. We complete each other so nicely it would be like a part of me just fell off. Why can't I wrap my brain around it? I don't know. I've pretty much taken a wait-and-see attitude about these next upcoming weeks. Its such a transitional time for the both of us. Not only is he at a new schoool with a new major. We are both dealing with actually having a traditional close distance relationship. We've never had that. I know we'll have to be careful about a lot of things like how much time we spend together and making sure neither of us stifles the other persons wants and interests. but I've decided to just deal with that sort of thing when, and if, it comes up. I mean, how can you fix something if it hasn't even broken yet? IT doesn't make any sense. Granted, when something does happen we both have to be concious to tell the other person and just fix it. I just hope we both come out stronger at the end of this. I know we will. I just need to start remembering that when I can't fall asleep at night.
Well that was long and rambling and I'm sorry for the lack of paragraphs, I just kind of free wrote whatever came to mind so I'm not really sure where to put them now. Plus I don't want to go over it right now becaus eI'll probably delete it instead of just publishing it like I really want to do.
~*Ery*~
I'm at Paul's Apt. right now waiting for him to get back from the PEIF (Physical Education Instructional Facility). His brother Todd and his girlfriend Jaimi are coming over soon and we're going to eat pizza! Yea pizza. Its interesting being here by myself. I mean, I don't live here, yet (come May and I move in too!) so its strange. Plus its al empty and un lived in because they haven't completely moved in yet. Like there is now dining room table or cable anywhere so its a lot of just sitting around upstairs because downstairs in teh dining/lioving area there isn't really much to do. At least up here there are computers and movies and video games. And sleeping. You can sleep in bedrooms. Yeah I'm a little bored. I felt the urge to write last night but I'm glad I didn't because I was trully just feeling rather PMS-y and was oddly depressed about my relationship. Which really isn't the case. I'm really happy with Paul and all his best parts and worst parts. I love all of him I just had a serious mistrust in myself last night. Like I was going over and over in my head why I should just not be thereat the moment and how my life was going somewhere I didn't want it to . But the truth is I like very much where my life is going. I've made this p;ath. I like that i can sleep next to my boyfriend at night. I like that in under five months we'll be living together. What I don't like are my weak moments of panic. I hate that feeling. That 'Oh no what has happened, what am I doing, how can I fix it?' feeling. Its stupid. I know that if at one of those weak moments I were to break up with him or something the next day or next minute I would fall apart. We complete each other so nicely it would be like a part of me just fell off. Why can't I wrap my brain around it? I don't know. I've pretty much taken a wait-and-see attitude about these next upcoming weeks. Its such a transitional time for the both of us. Not only is he at a new schoool with a new major. We are both dealing with actually having a traditional close distance relationship. We've never had that. I know we'll have to be careful about a lot of things like how much time we spend together and making sure neither of us stifles the other persons wants and interests. but I've decided to just deal with that sort of thing when, and if, it comes up. I mean, how can you fix something if it hasn't even broken yet? IT doesn't make any sense. Granted, when something does happen we both have to be concious to tell the other person and just fix it. I just hope we both come out stronger at the end of this. I know we will. I just need to start remembering that when I can't fall asleep at night.
Well that was long and rambling and I'm sorry for the lack of paragraphs, I just kind of free wrote whatever came to mind so I'm not really sure where to put them now. Plus I don't want to go over it right now becaus eI'll probably delete it instead of just publishing it like I really want to do.
~*Ery*~
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