I've been having trouble writing lately. I just don't know how to put wha tI'm thinking into words. Its really a strange dilemma. WEll anyway. I've got a good amount of things going on right now.
I went to Toronto for MUN. IT was good fun, but let me tell you: its cold in Toronto in February. Now I know that might seem like common sense, but when, for some reason, I believed the weather report of 40 degrees ...I decided to pack very few clothes. ANd the clothes tha tI packed weren't conducive to extreme winds chill or snow. Ick. Outside of that it was a good time. My committee was really fun and we had a lot of really smart people in teh group that contributed a lot. I dind't get an award, which would have been nice, but i did get several compliments from people in ECOFIN (my committee) that they felt I should have gotten some recognition. One of the really interesting things while I was there was this guy from Boston was totally hitting on me. I had to pull the "Boyfriend Card". Meaning that I had to casually bring up Paul while trying to act like that I didn't realize that I had actually just cock-blocked him. Oy. The politics of male and female interactions. Its really an interesting line. I odn't feel like discussing it right now, but perhaps in the future.
I've got my resume all over the city right now. I'm looking for a summer/next fall job and i've already had one interview. Its with an answering service company. I don't know if I even want to work there but the pay is really good for the area. It would look pretty good on my resume since they require at least one year of work and I'd have plenty of proof as to being able to handle customers. I don't know if I'm even going to get the job, but I've got my fingers crossed.
I haven't seen Paul in a week. How much does that suck?? I mean, we live 5 minutes away from each other and somehow in the last two days neither of us has had the time to see one another. I wouldn't mind wo much if I had at the very least heard his voice or something. But we haven't even been able to talk on the phone since my phone was roaming the whole time I was out of state. I wish we had talked yesterday, but I was too tired to call and tonite we had a date scheduled, but he procrastinated all weekend and had to do homework. I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little peeved about that. I mean, I was out of town for 4 days and at now point does he do any homework. He just lets it build up and then does it all the night we're supposed to hang out. I understand he has homework, but still. He knew when we would have time to hang out and he missed the opportunity. Oh well I guess.
THat's a quick overview. It kind of sucks a a blog entry but I feel like I should, at the very least, try to update once a month so things don't get too out of hand and then require lots of explaining.
Lots of Love,
~*Ery*~
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
I've been having trouble writing lately. I just don't know how to put wha tI'm thinking into words. Its really a strange dilemma. WEll anyway. I've got a good amount of things going on right now.
I went to Toronto for MUN. IT was good fun, but let me tell you: its cold in Toronto in February. Now I know that might seem like common sense, but when, for some reason, I believed the weather report of 40 degrees ...I decided to pack very few clothes. ANd the clothes tha tI packed weren't conducive to extreme winds chill or snow. Ick. Outside of that it was a good time. My committee was really fun and we had a lot of really smart people in teh group that contributed a lot. I dind't get an award, which would have been nice, but i did get several compliments from people in ECOFIN (my committee) that they felt I should have gotten some recognition. One of the really interesting things while I was there was this guy from Boston was totally hitting on me. I had to pull the "Boyfriend Card". Meaning that I had to casually bring up Paul while trying to act like that I didn't realize that I had actually just cock-blocked him. Oy. The politics of male and female interactions. Its really an interesting line. I odn't feel like discussing it right now, but perhaps in the future.
I've got my resume all over the city right now. I'm looking for a summer/next fall job and i've already had one interview. Its with an answering service company. I don't know if I even want to work there but the pay is really good for the area. It would look pretty good on my resume since they require at least one year of work and I'd have plenty of proof as to being able to handle customers. I don't know if I'm even going to get the job, but I've got my fingers crossed.
I haven't seen Paul in a week. How much does that suck?? I mean, we live 5 minutes away from each other and somehow in the last two days neither of us has had the time to see one another. I wouldn't mind wo much if I had at the very least heard his voice or something. But we haven't even been able to talk on the phone since my phone was roaming the whole time I was out of state. I wish we had talked yesterday, but I was too tired to call and tonite we had a date scheduled, but he procrastinated all weekend and had to do homework. I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little peeved about that. I mean, I was out of town for 4 days and at now point does he do any homework. He just lets it build up and then does it all the night we're supposed to hang out. I understand he has homework, but still. He knew when we would have time to hang out and he missed the opportunity. Oh well I guess.
THat's a quick overview. It kind of sucks a a blog entry but I feel like I should, at the very least, try to update once a month so things don't get too out of hand and then require lots of explaining.
Lots of Love,
~*Ery*~
I went to Toronto for MUN. IT was good fun, but let me tell you: its cold in Toronto in February. Now I know that might seem like common sense, but when, for some reason, I believed the weather report of 40 degrees ...I decided to pack very few clothes. ANd the clothes tha tI packed weren't conducive to extreme winds chill or snow. Ick. Outside of that it was a good time. My committee was really fun and we had a lot of really smart people in teh group that contributed a lot. I dind't get an award, which would have been nice, but i did get several compliments from people in ECOFIN (my committee) that they felt I should have gotten some recognition. One of the really interesting things while I was there was this guy from Boston was totally hitting on me. I had to pull the "Boyfriend Card". Meaning that I had to casually bring up Paul while trying to act like that I didn't realize that I had actually just cock-blocked him. Oy. The politics of male and female interactions. Its really an interesting line. I odn't feel like discussing it right now, but perhaps in the future.
I've got my resume all over the city right now. I'm looking for a summer/next fall job and i've already had one interview. Its with an answering service company. I don't know if I even want to work there but the pay is really good for the area. It would look pretty good on my resume since they require at least one year of work and I'd have plenty of proof as to being able to handle customers. I don't know if I'm even going to get the job, but I've got my fingers crossed.
I haven't seen Paul in a week. How much does that suck?? I mean, we live 5 minutes away from each other and somehow in the last two days neither of us has had the time to see one another. I wouldn't mind wo much if I had at the very least heard his voice or something. But we haven't even been able to talk on the phone since my phone was roaming the whole time I was out of state. I wish we had talked yesterday, but I was too tired to call and tonite we had a date scheduled, but he procrastinated all weekend and had to do homework. I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little peeved about that. I mean, I was out of town for 4 days and at now point does he do any homework. He just lets it build up and then does it all the night we're supposed to hang out. I understand he has homework, but still. He knew when we would have time to hang out and he missed the opportunity. Oh well I guess.
THat's a quick overview. It kind of sucks a a blog entry but I feel like I should, at the very least, try to update once a month so things don't get too out of hand and then require lots of explaining.
Lots of Love,
~*Ery*~
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Dreaming
Dreams. Interesting things really. I've always wondered if they mean something or if its a whole bunch of mumbo jumbo that some crazed psychologists have put together. Funny way of putting that: "crazed psychologists". Well in any case. I've been dreaming recently and though I wouldn't call them nightmares, they aren't exactly pleasant dreams either. So I will describe them here.
1st Dream ~ Last thursday
I was going to a church. I thnk it was for a baptism or something. One way once I got there I realized that I wasn't there for a baptism, I was there for my graduation. Paul was there but he was sullen about it. That wasn't the biggest concern, though. The biggest concern was I was dressed in red and black when I was supposed to be wearing white. So I had to go home really fast to change. Paul said he'd drive me. So the two of us, and a whole bunch of other people (one of whom happened to be a girl who lives in my hall, Betsy). all get in his car and drive away. For somereason though, as soon as we get within a mile of my house he stops and parks teh car. He said it would be faster if we walked, which makes no sense because tehre wasn't any traffic to slow us down. As soon as we get out of the car I'm engulfed in this feeling of panic and all I can think about is being late for graduation. We walk into this house (not mine) and there are people inside. Paul and Betsy want to meet them, despite me continually telling them we have to leave and that I'm going to be late. When we finally get out of the house we are running down the side of a road and I can just feel time whizzing by as we run instead of drive. I'm paniced and my heart is beating fast. Then I wake up.
2nd Dream ~ Last night
Paul and I are up at Tech for Carnival. We are walking around in this big building and everyone keeps looking at us. I havethis heavy feeling, like I'm going somewhere or about to do something thatI'm not completely comfortable with doing. All of aa suddeen I just "know" that after we get back to our bedroom Paul and I are going to have sex for the first time...and everyone knows. As soon as I'm aware of that fact I can seee that people keep looking at us and smiling. Like they know something we don't. I start to feel almost sick to my stomach. We get back to our bedroom (which happens to be my room at school), and there is a man there reading passages out of the Bible. The room is dim but there is a sort of sickly yellow light coming fromt eh man reading. Paul starts to kiss me and all I can think is:"I'm not ready, why are we doing this, why does everyone know?" His mouth is too hot, and it feels like I have a pool of near boiling water just sitting on my tongue. I feel trapped, and like I can't change a decision that I made before this instant. Then I wake up.
3rd Dream ~ Last night (after 2nd dream)
I'm at my house. For some reason I've been put in charge of finding players for our flag football intermural team. Unfortunately its coed and I can't find any men who would like to play. i'm rushing around, racing against time trying to find some men who would like to play. I finally manage to get three guys together and then I can't get anyone together to actually get going to the game. My friend Katie isn't motivated and the other girl on our team (Jodi Sweetin, Stephanie from Full House) is giving herself a french manicure. Like the first dream I'm completely frustrated and paniced about being late. My throat is tight and my heart is pounding. I finally get everyone outside the house and I realize we are at my house back home. My mom drives up to take us to the field and as we run down the stairs my neighobr, ROy who is about 6, come sprintin over to me. He holds up a yellow worm and starts screaming "Look Ery!! Look at my worm!!!" I tell him that I can't look right now and he tackles me so I will look at his worm. I look at it and then get in the car. My mom informs me that we'll be at the game in 5 minutes as long as the weather doesn't get bad. As soon as she stops talking the skies open up and starting pouring rain. Then I wake up.
I wish I knew what these meant.
Lots of Love
~*Ery*~
1st Dream ~ Last thursday
I was going to a church. I thnk it was for a baptism or something. One way once I got there I realized that I wasn't there for a baptism, I was there for my graduation. Paul was there but he was sullen about it. That wasn't the biggest concern, though. The biggest concern was I was dressed in red and black when I was supposed to be wearing white. So I had to go home really fast to change. Paul said he'd drive me. So the two of us, and a whole bunch of other people (one of whom happened to be a girl who lives in my hall, Betsy). all get in his car and drive away. For somereason though, as soon as we get within a mile of my house he stops and parks teh car. He said it would be faster if we walked, which makes no sense because tehre wasn't any traffic to slow us down. As soon as we get out of the car I'm engulfed in this feeling of panic and all I can think about is being late for graduation. We walk into this house (not mine) and there are people inside. Paul and Betsy want to meet them, despite me continually telling them we have to leave and that I'm going to be late. When we finally get out of the house we are running down the side of a road and I can just feel time whizzing by as we run instead of drive. I'm paniced and my heart is beating fast. Then I wake up.
2nd Dream ~ Last night
Paul and I are up at Tech for Carnival. We are walking around in this big building and everyone keeps looking at us. I havethis heavy feeling, like I'm going somewhere or about to do something thatI'm not completely comfortable with doing. All of aa suddeen I just "know" that after we get back to our bedroom Paul and I are going to have sex for the first time...and everyone knows. As soon as I'm aware of that fact I can seee that people keep looking at us and smiling. Like they know something we don't. I start to feel almost sick to my stomach. We get back to our bedroom (which happens to be my room at school), and there is a man there reading passages out of the Bible. The room is dim but there is a sort of sickly yellow light coming fromt eh man reading. Paul starts to kiss me and all I can think is:"I'm not ready, why are we doing this, why does everyone know?" His mouth is too hot, and it feels like I have a pool of near boiling water just sitting on my tongue. I feel trapped, and like I can't change a decision that I made before this instant. Then I wake up.
3rd Dream ~ Last night (after 2nd dream)
I'm at my house. For some reason I've been put in charge of finding players for our flag football intermural team. Unfortunately its coed and I can't find any men who would like to play. i'm rushing around, racing against time trying to find some men who would like to play. I finally manage to get three guys together and then I can't get anyone together to actually get going to the game. My friend Katie isn't motivated and the other girl on our team (Jodi Sweetin, Stephanie from Full House) is giving herself a french manicure. Like the first dream I'm completely frustrated and paniced about being late. My throat is tight and my heart is pounding. I finally get everyone outside the house and I realize we are at my house back home. My mom drives up to take us to the field and as we run down the stairs my neighobr, ROy who is about 6, come sprintin over to me. He holds up a yellow worm and starts screaming "Look Ery!! Look at my worm!!!" I tell him that I can't look right now and he tackles me so I will look at his worm. I look at it and then get in the car. My mom informs me that we'll be at the game in 5 minutes as long as the weather doesn't get bad. As soon as she stops talking the skies open up and starting pouring rain. Then I wake up.
I wish I knew what these meant.
Lots of Love
~*Ery*~
Saturday, February 03, 2007
Friday Night TV
I'm sitting in Paul's apartment, watching TV with his brother and buddy Thomas. We've been doing this since abut 5pm and I'm a little tired of sitting around and watching a whole lot of testosterone on TV. Not to say that I haven't enjoyed the shows we've watched so far ( Man vs. Wild is a freaking cool show) but we haven't done anything today. On the other hand, I don't really have any money so I don't really want to go out and spend any cash right now. Oh well.
Things are bette than what I was stressing about the last time I wrote. I don't know why I got so weird, it just sort of happened. I worry too much. I'm not sure why. For instance, Paul and I were talking about going up to Tech for a winter festival they have every year. Even though the school has some real activities planeed (such as snow statue building, I'll include pictures next week) the real "focus" of events, at least for many students, is to get as drunk as possible and then stay that way till Sunday evening. This worries me. I'm so frightened of one of the people i'm with getting alcohol, especially Paul. For some reason he doesn't understand why this bothers me so much. It just does. I'm so scared that something will happen to him. I can't predict the future, if I could maybe I wouldn't worry to much...or maybe I'd worry all the more.
I'm so excited for Model UN. I had to go back and see if I had talked about it yet...and since I only mentioned it once that means I get to just go to town on it. Model UN is pretty much exactly what it sounds like. Its a group that meets and puts on a model United Nations conference. A whole bunch of college students get together and discuss a varitey of topics. At my school we "train" for this in two different ways. In the fall semester we meet as an extra-curricular group that gets together on Thursdays to practice writing resolutions and debating in proper parliamentary order. In the winter semester we meet as a political science class (for 2 credits!) and learn from peer teachers. The upside to doing it this way is there are credits involved and more people take it as a class than in the group. The downside is there is homework and quizzes, not so fun.
In the fall we go to Chicago, IL and have the conference in a hotel. But in the Winter we go to Toronto and hold the conference at U of T. I'm so excited to go in February. Its going to be so much fun. Its so interesting to get together and discuss things with intelligent people. especially when, in reality, it doesn't mean all that much to anyone at all. This semester I'm representing the United Kingdom. They are so involved in so many things. So I'm excited to go to Toronto and have a good time. Wee!
Um. I guess that's it. Oh wait! I've been doing yoga throughout the week and took class again on Tuesday. It's so much fun. And I already feel more comfortable and have a little better posture. Yea!
Ok now I'm truly finished.
Lots of Love,
~*Ery*~
Things are bette than what I was stressing about the last time I wrote. I don't know why I got so weird, it just sort of happened. I worry too much. I'm not sure why. For instance, Paul and I were talking about going up to Tech for a winter festival they have every year. Even though the school has some real activities planeed (such as snow statue building, I'll include pictures next week) the real "focus" of events, at least for many students, is to get as drunk as possible and then stay that way till Sunday evening. This worries me. I'm so frightened of one of the people i'm with getting alcohol, especially Paul. For some reason he doesn't understand why this bothers me so much. It just does. I'm so scared that something will happen to him. I can't predict the future, if I could maybe I wouldn't worry to much...or maybe I'd worry all the more.
I'm so excited for Model UN. I had to go back and see if I had talked about it yet...and since I only mentioned it once that means I get to just go to town on it. Model UN is pretty much exactly what it sounds like. Its a group that meets and puts on a model United Nations conference. A whole bunch of college students get together and discuss a varitey of topics. At my school we "train" for this in two different ways. In the fall semester we meet as an extra-curricular group that gets together on Thursdays to practice writing resolutions and debating in proper parliamentary order. In the winter semester we meet as a political science class (for 2 credits!) and learn from peer teachers. The upside to doing it this way is there are credits involved and more people take it as a class than in the group. The downside is there is homework and quizzes, not so fun.
In the fall we go to Chicago, IL and have the conference in a hotel. But in the Winter we go to Toronto and hold the conference at U of T. I'm so excited to go in February. Its going to be so much fun. Its so interesting to get together and discuss things with intelligent people. especially when, in reality, it doesn't mean all that much to anyone at all. This semester I'm representing the United Kingdom. They are so involved in so many things. So I'm excited to go to Toronto and have a good time. Wee!
Um. I guess that's it. Oh wait! I've been doing yoga throughout the week and took class again on Tuesday. It's so much fun. And I already feel more comfortable and have a little better posture. Yea!
Ok now I'm truly finished.
Lots of Love,
~*Ery*~
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