My Prom

Wow. So prom was this past Wed. and it was amazing in so many ways. The day started out with our Senior Farewell which was our last time with the whole school and it was so sad. I sang "If We hold On Together" and it went beautifully.

Afterwards it was time to start getting ready for the big night. I went home did all he necessary bathing and shaving and such then I took a nap. I went next door to get my hair done and it turned out splendidly. I went home and put on my dress. It is so pretty...unfortunatly, though, the drycleaners tore the chiffon overlay and it ripped progressivly throughout the night. Oh well...no one noticed. So then my mom did pictures outside Carol's house because her garden is so much nicer than ours. Well then the night really got started. Jay showed up. He looks so nice in his tails...wait did I say nice? I meant good, yummy, mmm! Anywho (giggle giggle). We left for Jackie's. I love riding in a car with just him. I feel safe and protected and not in control and I love that feeling. Then there's the fact that he wears this absolutly amazing scent/cologne/body spray stuff that I love...but more on that later. At Jackie's we all got introduced and such. All the guys got along so well. When Allie's date arrived we were all on pins and needles but he turned out to be a pretty cool guy (and not too hard on the eyes either if you know what I mean). So yeah then we had to do the picture thing which went well I guess. the pictures all look good. Everybody is happy and smling (mostly). Then into the limo to the hall. We got to the hall ate dinner ( not much to discuss here so why bother) and now we are to the dancing, an activity on which I have lots of feelings.

Firstly I LOVE to dance! And not just structured dance, I love all sorts, the way the music makes me feel is such an incredible, undescribable high I can't express it! So yeah thats the first thing. I mean it doesn't really matter how good or bad the dancing is, as long as I'm comfortable I have fun. Well s the DJ sarted the dance off with gwen Stefani's song "Hollaback Girl" which I guess is one of Jay's favorite songs at the moment. So we went out onto the dance floor and go right down to it. Eeeeee! We were so close, I could smell him...ad he was behind me ad I love how he smells and heknows that I love the smell and I wonder what that means? Because I mentioned it and he sad somenthing to the effect f " its the one you really like" Which mskes me wonder why he chose that one, sinc I know hes got several but anyway thats not really what I wa talking about was it? No I was discussing dancing and how I love dancing with Jay. I felt so free finally with what I could do. I could move and not worry what he would think and...hold on let me try to explain this better. I always feel this longing when I'm dancing to move away from the monotonous back-n-forth back-to-front movement that is so common in dancing nowadays. Because I know that it is just as common to move your butt a little more and to twirl and to move about the dance floor. Well with Jay I found this movement I have been longing for. nd I wasn't the one who started it, he did. I believe it started with some"getting low". It was great, I was 6 inches away from sittingon the ground then all of a sudden I was back wherI had started from. I was just blown away that he wanted, even, encouraged me to actually move around with him. He gave me such a freedm but at the same time I could feel his control over what we did and how far everything went, I felt the control in his hands and in which direction we went but I still felt weightless and free. I want to mention that I love the feeling I get whenI dance with him. I felt so secure andI felt aloive and cradled in his arms. I knew that if anything happened he would be right there, I wouldn't fall alone. His arms were around my waist and then they were around my hips and his hands were on my upper thighs and I didn't want them to leave that spot but when they did it was okay because they were hugging me closer to him. Sigh. I don't think that feeling's coming back.

Finished Update

Well my last update was complete in the sense that it told everything that haappened. Period. However I cut out several poinant things and thoughts for brevity's sake. I figured I'd finish it in this post. But first I will list a type color key for reading simplicity:

Scene explanation

"What he said"

"What I said"

What he did

What I did

What I was thinking

Thoughts that occured later

Alright here goes:

1) Place: ND's Prom. Josh and I went outside after dinner because thats what everyone else did. We are out side of this building on a lawn that looks out over a wall at the water.

Its so beautiful, if only I could say that. "There are bugs over my head" But I can't because it opens the door for a cheesy "so are you" compliment from Josh and I don't need that. Looked out over the water. Looked over the water. We stayed out there and chatted with some other people for a while but that was the basis of the exchange.

2) Place: CC's Prom. So Ryan and I are dancing and we get seperated from Jackie and Nancy and dates. Where did they go glance around...don't look for them too much Ryan will ask questions...no he won't he doesn't talk. Oh well. Why does it feel like we keep moving away from people. Dance. Dance. My legs hurt, too much dancing all at once. Are Ryan and I even touching asside from his hands and my hips. I would like to be a bit closer here, buddy. Why won't he pull me up tight? Oh hello there Banas...yes those are my ankles, calves, knees, and thighs you have just run your whole body/hands over. That felt good...Ryan you wanna get low with me? So I was feeling a little neglected/horny here and I dont know why. I mean I don't really like Ryan like that. Although he is tall, which is very nice...

3) Place: Carson's house party. So I'm sitting in this chair all sober wishing they had something tasty to drink so I wouldn't be stone cold sober in a room almost filled with trashed people I don't know. Jackie and Nancy aren't drinking and neither is John so we are watching Jay and John play a game of pool...its a bit messed up because they both keep blatantly cheating and Jay doesn't realize because he's had a bunch to drink already. All of a sudden this guy Tony who doesn't even go to CC comes up to me and whispers in my ear... Tony is completely trashed but kinda cute in a big softy kind of way. "You should follow me." "Why?" "You should follow me." Walks away towards the weight room. What why should I follow you? I know what you wanna do...so what Ery, follow him what harm can it do? Duh Romney?!?...oh right....follow anyway you don't have to do anything. Get up off my chair, sort of skip/walk away after Tony. "I'm gonna go follow Tony." (For the record this was said to the people around the pool table...they all just sorta looked at me and went on with their business.) Why the hell did you say that? Why is no one warning me...oh well here is the weight room in I go. Walk in. "Why did you bring me in here all alone?" DUH Ery stop flirting with him you stupid girl. Shrug. Close door to the weight room. Hand goes around my waist. Alright why was I so complacent? I don't know I'm an idiot but yeah whatever. "I'm not gonna make out with you right here, there are windows in the door you just closed." Pulls me away from the door till his back is up against the wall. Pulls me close to him. Shit Ery now what are you gonna do you stupid stupid girl think fast!! Put thumbs in my back pockets thus clearing his hand from my waist. Puts his fingers in my front belt loops and pulls me up close to him. Ooo I like that. Yeah I was totally enjoying this a bit too much I loved that he was just gonna do what he wanted until I made him stop. I love when a guy takes a bit of my control away from me Alright I'll just not make out with him, (head lowers in coming in for kiss) maybe I will, just one little kiss...No!Move my head to the left at the last second. You can't do that, don't do that. We are now cheek to cheek Alright no kiss. Darn butI want one. No, no kiss. " No, no." "Why not?" "Because," What kind of crappy reason is that, its never gonna work." "Come on." Told ya so. "No." "Why not?" Don't mention Romney! "Because I've done this before and it didn't turn out well." Nicely put, that should work. "You know you want to." Yeah I do but I can't, maybe just one...NO! "But I'm so cute." WHAT! Now thats attractive. Someone's full of themself. Shit he's drunk he's not just gonna listen to you, just leave. " I'm gonna leave now." No movement. "Okay" No movement " I'm gonna go out the door." Okay Ery just leave now. Detangle yourself now and leave. Walk backwards and then out the door back to where my girlfrends have finaly realized I'm not where I should be and are waiting for me. Stays in the room for about 5 mins. then comes out and announces that he's going home. You go you mankiller you, look you broke his sad little heart. Oh well, there goes your 'kissing' buddy. Nancy and Jackie have by this point already asked me what happened and I told them nothing but before I could get the wole story out our buddy Jay comes waltzing in wanting to know what's going on and we ell him nothing and break up our pow-wow to go back to our faithful watching of him and John. This all took about 5 minutes.

SO those are my experiences. Later.

~*ERY*~

Update

Well, two down one to go! Proms I mean. Its Saturday and I'm recovering. I wasn't home for two days and it caught up with me...But to start at the beginning.

Well ND's prom was Tuesday and that was an interesting experience. I got up at 5 AM so I could get started on my hair before school. I twisted it and then went to school. I left after 6th hour to finish it by 4:30, Jen came over to help and thank God because I never would have been able to do it myself. Once it was finished I got ready and Josh came to pick me up. There are pictures that his dad took at www.stevesowell.com look at the pics from May 11th. So we left. Well to speed this night up I'll abbreviate. We went to Hamtown to meet with our group, rode to the hall, ate, danced, went back to Hamtown, partied for and hour, came home. I wish it had felt that fast. Instead I had to sit through dinner with this guy who is in love with me and is trying so obviously not to say say anything to make me uncomfortable and not knowing that he has failed horribly. I can't stand it and now I'm in the process of avoiding him and I feel bad. Oh well I guess I''m gonna just have to sit him down and "have a little chat". Ick I don't want to!!!

So the next day I go to school and we begin the long and tedious project of learning how to walk for Graduation. I mean I understand that we need to look good but are 8 2 hour practices necessary? Anyway, since I was going to be going straight from practice to my hair appointment on Wed. with Jackie we decided that I would just gather my things after pratice on Wed. and then I would spend the night at her house, go to practice on Thursday with her. Well this began my trek of not being home for two days. Jackie and I were together for a loooooong time. And we didn't eat each other, I was so proud. Anyway we watched Kill Bill vol.1 and I enjoyed it. We then went looking through her neighborhood at the houses being built. We then did something that she says is legal butI disagree. We went inside these uncompleted homes and walked around. Apparently its a neighbrhood tradition. Anyway you walk through the home and "show" the rooms as you would put them based on the walls and where the outlets are located. Well the first house was more finished than the second but I loved the second more, it had a canal view out onto the lake. I stood on the second floor and let the wind fly through me and I felt so free. Then we went back to her house. I got antsy so I helped her mom seal and stamp jackie's graduation announcements. Joel came over as we were finishing up (he is so nice and sweet I'm so glad him and Jackie have finaly gotten together officially and said the "L" word). Anywho, we put in The Life Aquatic and Jackie was the only one who saw the whole thing. Joel and I both konked out about half-way through. After Joel left we went to bed and got reay for the next day.

CC's Prom! Well the day started with wrapping Jay's b-day present. It was in really cool wrapping paer and then Jackie and I decorated it a bit. It had ribbons and bows and even a fake pointsetta! Then we went to grad. practice. We drove to get our hair done. it was cool we both got people who were perfect for us. Jackie's didn't like updo's and neither does Jackie. I really like the twisty curly updo thing andthe woman doing my hair has naturally curly hair and she is a wonder at the curly twisty updo thing. So my hair was curled and twisted and sprayed until it wouldn't move, seriously, I slept on it and it didn't even flatten. After our hair waa done. We went back to jackies for an hour to gather stuff togethr and to do makeup stuff. We left and then got to Jays house (i cut out an hour or so there because it wasn't that eventful). We ut on our dresses when nancy got there. Then we waited for the dates to arrive. When they got there we did pictures and then went to Brendans house and did more pictures. We then did the fnniest hing ever, according to my mother. We were all going to this country clu, but we were going separate and only one person knew weher to go. So we all get in our very nice sports cars and drive to the left, well the leader of the group (not the one who knows where to go) thinks he's going the wrong way so he turns around, well 4 cars are following and they all turn around to, then the guy who knows where he is going flys by us going in the way we were just going, so we all turn around again. My mom said we loked so ridiculous. So we get to the country club and get the last table that is completly empty. Dinner took like 3 hours and then we got to dance for an hour and a half. We went back to Jays and changed. We then went to Carson's house (amazing) and stayed there till around 3. We came back to Jays house, attempted to watch Animal house but fell asleep at 4:30. Mrs Gronbach woke us up at 9:10 for breakfast. We had break fast then went back to RHS for grad. pracice again.

I then had Senior farewell practice. i was so dead

Something fun (long)...from Rachel's LJ

[x] They call me: Ery
[x] also: Sheep, CeeCee,
[x] sex: female
[x] birthday: Spring
[x] status: single (and not lovin it)
[x] occupation: Graduate (in a week)

_______right now_______
[x] feeling: so-so, kinda lazy
[x] doing: avoiding work/dad
[x] thinking of: what my mom is gonna do when she sees the pan I just burnt
[x] hating: my job

_______Love_______
[x] love is: an emotion so intangible, yet everyone searches for it
[x] first love: Brian
[x] love or lust?: love...I just wanted to hold his hand for goodness sake
[x] true or false: false...although ask me in 4th grade and I would have said true

_______Opposite Sex_______
[x] turn ons: eyes, smile, confidence
[x] what kinda hair style?: longish but controlled
[x] are you the type of person that asks for his number?: yeah...if he approaches me first though

_______Micellaneous _______
[x] can you swim?: Oh yeeaah.....
[x] whats your most embarrassing moment?: I don't rightly know
[x] what are you scared of?: Rejection, critisicm, rape, situations where I have no control
[x] what is your greatest accomplishment?: GRADUATION from high School!
[x] do you like tomatoes?: yes...but only raw ones
[x] hw many TVs in the house?: 3
[x] how many phones in the house?: 2 regular...3 cell
[x] how many residents?: 5 people, 1 dog, 2 turtles

______Your looks______
[x] Hair color: Brown
[x] Eye color?:Blue
[x] Height: 5' Something"
[x] Do u wear contacts or glasses?: both glasses more often though...I'm lazy
[x] do u have any piercing? 1 hole in each ear

______Just lately______
[x] How are you today? Alright...cold be better
[x] What pants are you wearing right now?: underpants (i'm in my bathrobe and an oversized t-shrit so those are the only "pants" I'm wearing.
[x] What does your hair look like at the moment?: Up in ponytail/messy
[x] What song are u listening to right now?: 6th Avenue Heartache by The Wallflowers
[x] Last person you talked to on the phone?: Ryan...Correy's friend
[x] Last Dream you can remember?: I had a dream...I don't rmeber any right now
[x] Who are you talking to right now?: No one

______More about You______
[x] What are the last four digits of your phone number? not telling
[x] If you were a crayon, what color would you be?: a dark majestic purple
[x] What's the next CD you are going to buy?: Don't know
[x] What's the stupidest thing you've ever done?: Made out with Romney at Jackie's party
[x] If u could change one thing about yourself what would it be?: I would make my sight perfect
[x] Where do you shop the most? Downtown Mt. Clemens.
[x] How many kids do you want to have?: 2-4
[x] Shampoo? : Dove
[x] Do you have your own phone line?: Cell phone
[x] Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?: No but I do sleep with two pillows to hug
[x] Have you ever broken/sprained/fractured a bone?: Yeah I jumped off a playground merry-go-round and I broke my ankle
[x] Who do you dream about?: Weird stuff...Marvin Gaye was my mailman once...
[x] Who do you tell your dreams to? Nancy and Jackie
[x] Who's the loudest friend you have? Nancy K.
[x] Who's the quietest friend?: Dana

______You and love ______
[x] Do you have a girlfriend or boyfriend?: no :(
[x] Do you have a crush?: Yes...Unfortunatly
[x] Who is your crush?: Jay
[x] Where would you like to go on your honeymoon?: Greece
[x] Do you find yourself attractive?: Yes, with a bit of makeup
[x] Do you find yourself ugly?: When the acne is being bad
[x] Do others find you attractive? I would say yes but the drunk are always nice

____________Your favorites____________
[x] Color: Blue
[x] food: Mac and Chees
[x] Fast Food: Arbys
[x] Candy:Butterfinger
[x] Ice Cream Flavor:It changes
[x] Sports: Swimming
[x] numbers: 6
[x] Scent: (On myself? Cherry blossom...On boys? I don't know...whatever Matt used was marvelous)
[x] Board Game?: Monopoly
[x] Saying?: What kind of question is this? Ummm "Some exhalation"

____________Have you ever ____________
[x] Wanted to kill someone? yes
[x] Broke the law? yeah
[x] Ran from the cops? no
[x] Made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: no, because I usually end up in more

______Firsts________
[x] First Kiss: 12th grade...December...Jeff...
[x] First Job: Server at Partridge Creek
[x] First Screenname: Queenmouse1
[x] First Enemy: Those girls down the street
[x] First Best Friend: Jenna

A Quiz Thing

A quiz I found on Megan's LJ.

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Ery (no full names)
2. Sheep
3. CeeCee

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. Fruitysheep
2. Queenmouse1
3. That's all folks

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My curly hair
2. My eyes
3. My ability to understand people's problems

THREE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My OCD-ness
2. My procrastination
3. My room

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. Greek
2. Irish
3. French Canadian

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. Scary movies
2. Dying alone
3. Not knowing whts going to happen in the future

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Breakfast
2. Hugs
3. Laughter

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. Cute skirt I got for my birthday
2. Green tank top
3. Undergarments

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS/ARTISTS:
1. Keane
2. Jewel
3. Stevie Nicks

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT:
1. Somewher Only We Know
2. The Point of No Return
3. Existentialism on Prom Night

THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
1. College!
2. Prom
3. Drive a jet ski without a sense of fear

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP (love is a given):
1. Trust
2. Someone who understands me, even when I can't get a complete sentence out
3. Someone with whom I am completely comfy

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (in no particular order)
1. I love to swim
2. I don't like snow
3. I am a girl

THREE THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX (or same) THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. Eyes
2. Smile
3. The ability to bring me out of my shell

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
1. Draw, paint, anything artsy
2. Eat pickles
3. Drive Claudia (she's totalled)

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE PASTIMES:
1. Dancing ( bet'cha didn't know that)
2. Swimming
3. Singing

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. School to wrap up
2. Go to florida
3. Get a job that pays regularly

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1.Conservationist
2. Environmental Engineer
3. Directing

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION/HOLIDAY:
1. Greece
2. Paris
3. Ireland

THREE KIDS' NAMES:
1. Chrisanthy
2. Margaret
3. Anthony

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Sky Dive
2. Have a family
3. Become a grandma

Huh...

Let me just start by saying that I'm rather glad that none of my close friends have this blog info. I mean this is such a catharsis for me. I reread all my other posts, all of them, and I was amazed by some of the poetic things I wrote. It amazed me (great poetry there, right?) that I could be so open. At times I wish someone could see it but then again I think that allowing people in would ruin the experience of writing for myself. I mean if I can't scribe from the soul then what point is there?

I want to make a note on some of my feelings right now, outside of the happy/excited-ness. I am in an in between mood. I can't decide if I am content. I want so much and yet I fear things. I fear no knowing what the future holds. I think that is part of the cause for my excitement. Josh recently questioned my extreme calendar obsession and I told him that I like to feel as if something is concrete. Which is so true. If I don't know what's going on I feel lost, adrift on a sea where I can see shore but I can't get myself there. I also know that some excitment comes from a lot of my choices being taken away from me dealing with prom. For two of them all I have to do is show up and look good and I'm set. Granted at one I know there will be definite after-partying but that's only some of the fun. I jst don't know much else besides times... I don't even know what I'm doing for my hair...and one day I'm doing it myself!!

This is done. For now I have nothing of worth left to say... I will LIVE PURE!!

Mabe I can show all this to my future husband...what would he say readingover these? They are sooo personal, but then again, shouldn't you be able to share anything with the man who you wed, your heart and soul?

Musings

I'm so excited! I can't say that enough!!!!!! Three proms...I feel so popular!! I'm excited! Graduation is coming up! Florida after that! oh my goodness I'm about to jumo out of my skin here. Its incredible I can't contain it...EEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee I want everything to come but I wan to enjy it too...SADD party on Friday. Yes I need to win some stuff here. Pouring out of my pores I 'm so excited. It doesn't end! WEeeeeee!