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Ahh well. Its been the customary two or so weeks. I figured, why not write something. I'm not doing anything. Plus I get to practice my typing skills. I type well but I'm bad at not looking at the keys. So I have many errors because I can't watch the screen to catch them in time. Too bad my brain works too fast for my fingers to follow it.

Brrr. Its cold in our office. I don't really have that much to write about. Nancy and Devynn came to visit me over the weekend. That was nice. I had to buy so much extra food though. And I'm sure some of the pasta we made is going to go to waste because there is just soooo much of it. Although, I shouldn't have to cook for the rest of the week, so I guess its ok.

Paul and I are good. I get so sad when he has to leave. I don't know what it is. Last week I cried. Granted, it was "that time of the month" so I was a little more emotional than normal, but still. When I get into bed and he isn't there I feel like the bed is half empty...I hate that. Plus there's the fact that he's there. To talk to and hug and walk with. When he's gone I'm all alone. I have some friends here, but so many of them are guys. And I feel like I unintentionally flirt sometimes with them. I don't mean to, that is just my personality. But by being there I feel like I'm doing something wrong. Grrr I don't know. I need to make more girlfriends that I can just hang out with. Its hard though.

I'm excited to find out who my roommate is going to be next semester. I'm kind of nervous but at the same time I think that since I'm a pretty easy-going person it should be no problem. The only thing that worries me is the whole boyfriend-staying-the-night-on-weekends thing. I don't expect it to be a problem, but either way I'm going to tell her as soon as I can so that the idea doesn't just get sprung on her last minute.

Ho hum. I'm bored. I painted my nails earlier today. Just for something to do at work. Now they are "racy red" I love it! Well I'm going to post this now because I can't think of anything else to ramble about. Plus its getting hard to type like this.

~*Ery*~

21st Pictures for Paul

Weee! Posting pictures! I love doing it. Unfortunately Picasa only lets the pictures get so large before they get blurry so I gave up on it. Here is a picture of my beloved Paul. By the time I took this one he was getting tired of posing. I was fusing with the flash so this is actually the first one where you can see his face. I love the "birthday hat" Sooo sexy :)

Here's the one of the two of us. I like this one a lot. Usually when we drink I tend to smoosh my face next to his in hugs for pictures...but here we're far enough apart (andI'm sober enough) that my face is normal looking! Oh yeah and he's wearing that nice hat again!

Wasn't it pretty? Our fire was huuuuge. This is one of the smaller pics since the tall ones weren't switched around yet but I still really like it. Woohoo pyromaniacs unite!!

How do you know when two men are very close? When they can make this face in public, and then allow pictures to be taken. Haha. Paul and Marc being silly as usual. Such goofs. Can't help but laugh.

Oh Keith. I don't know what he's doing...but he's so funny it could have been anything.

Fire jumping. One of the traditions theyv'e cooked up. Silly thing really but no one's gone to the hospital yet so I guess they play it pretty safe. Anywho this is Randy and Brandon leaping in tandem. Its a pretty sweet picture of the whole thing.

Awww a picture with two people I know and one who I don't remember ever meeting. Ok the blond on teh left is the one I don't remember. Brandon is making the goofy face and ANg is the sweetie on the end. SHe really is a great big sweetheart. One of my goodfriends up here when I ac tually get to see her. SHe has a sucha loving fun personality.

Well those are my pictures. There are like a billion more. But i'm tired of posting today and some of them are just random group shots anyway.

~*ERY*~

Woops.

Missed some stuff in that last post that I should ahve updated on.

Paul's Birthday party...went great. It couldn't have been better. I knew I was wrong to worry, but thats just what I do. It had a slow start since we had to go to Brandon's gf's graduation party *TANGENT* I was not happy about this I was kind of duped into going and shame on Paul for not telling me. THats right he got teh call and tehn we stopped at me house and then we left and were on our way. I asked why we were leaving so early (it was 4pm and the party wouldn't get going until at least 9) and he said that we had to go to Krysta's grad party..."oh" My only outward reaction. Inside:Grrr you knew that because you got a call before we even came back here...I could have napped or something poo on you. *END TANGENT* The grad party was fine, I got over it...initial anger dissipated.
Once we wnet and got wood for the bonfire things really got going. WE all had a blast. A whole bunch of Paul's friends that I knew were there, always good sinc eI'm starting to remember people...YEA! and then the Skandia Boys ( I guess they're kind of a gang, but only in the direct meaning of the word, just a group of guys that always party together and hang out) showed up and they are just a blast. Especially my buddy Keith who rocks and lived next door last year and this coming one, YEA! So it was a good time all around. We didn't end up sleeping in the car because as it turned out I didn't drink that much and was able to finish my drinks then take a little nap in the car while I sobered up for an hour (I had already done the rest of my sobering teh I had one drink so I had to wait an hour to let teh alcohol get out of my system again) of our stay. We had a good time at home sleepig till l2 or something. Then I treated Paul to his first car wash ever. Which sucked and I'm going to re do it when we go to my house. Because for goodness sake what is a car wash experience without the spinny things and the long octopus-like thing hittig the car? Anywho.

Pictures will be uploaded eventually. I just have to actually feel like it. THat and use my own computer of course.

~*ERY*~

A While in Coming

Well it taken me some time to get going again, but I figured since I have nothing better to do I might as well do some blogging. Hmm life is pretty uneventful right now. I got a call on Friday about a job at a bank opening which would be great. THe only problem is that I'm not sure where the bank is located exactly and if I can't walk/rollerblade there with relative ease and safety I'll have to turn it down, and I really don't want to have to do that. It would ba great opportunity...but we shall see.

Hmm haven't started those love letters yet. I don't know what it is, but I feel like I'd be doing it more for what I would get back from him than actually to write him a letter. Plus its so hard. We've been seeing each other every weekend and talk every night on the phone. I just don't know what I would say. It doesn't help that he saw the address on my computer and I had to tell him. So now I haaave to do it, rather than being myt usual wavering self and not actually doing it until I really felt like it. I don't know.

I had a really sad moment the other day at Pau's house even though I ddin't say anything I was really hurt. I had made him a CD at Valentine's day of songs that made me think of him and our relationshiop. ANd granted it was sappy and eveything but whatever, I made it and I figured it would end up in his CD case eventually with the rest of his CDs. But SUnday we were hugging in his bedroom and I looked down for a second and there at the side of his bed barely peeking out from the pile of crap that accumulates on most people's bedroom floors was the CD I made him. Laying in its case waiting to be stepped on. I felt like the gift had just been tossed there with no regards to what it meant and the thought behind it. I didn't say anything because reallyu, its quite silly to get all worked up over a CD and I didn't feel like being that nagging girlfriend who's like, "You don't love me you put the gift I made on the floor, what are you saying about us, etc etc." But thats kind of how I feel. And even writing this I feel like I should say something...but I have such an aversion to conflict that I don't want to start anything silly like this that could just be an oversight in his rush to move out of the dorms or something. Boo hiss. I just don't want it to fester and weaken my thoughts towards him.

I just don't know sometimes. Like most of the time we're together...like 99.8% of the time. I feel like I want to spend my whole life with him and make babies with him and all that jazz. But that last .2% just keeps throwing my mind for a loop. Its like I see all the god and all teh chemistry and the love and the similarities...and then I go...what if? Its infuriating, becuse immediatly I go what are you thinking, everything is fine and you are wondering what if I dated more before I settled down? I mean, I don't want that at all! I've read the books, seen the TV shows, watched friends live it. Dating around is not the most enjoyable thing. But my mind has glamorized it for some reason and I just can't shake it loose. It makes me think of this Reba McIntyre song I know "Is there life out there/somewhere she hasn't gone/Is there life beyond/ her family and her home/ she done what she should/should she do what she can/ she doesn't want to leave/ she's just wondering if there's life out there/. I feel liike that girl. Almost like I want to go back in time and split in two and casually date...but have teh other me in a relationship with Paul. IS that so wrong? TO wonder what other events could have occured. But then, thats not life. THats not living life either. Always wondering what if. I know what I have is great, and I couldn't find anything better and I don't want to leave what I have. I'm just wondering.

~*ERY*~

P.S. Yes, I said I want to make babies with Paul. I want to have lots and lots of babies. Mmmm I love babies and children.

The sun also rises

Here are some pictures I took this morning. I was going to the BioLife Center to take my physical at 6 in the morning. And the sun was just coming up over the lake. Since I had to go in for the appt. I couldn't get all the way to the lake for the sunrise, but it was gorgeous none the less. Sun starts peeking over the horizon. I love the clouds, they were an amazing palette of pinks and blues.
My appt. was cancelled because I didn't have any proof of SSN. After getting up at 5:15 so I could have the recommended protein full meal I was a wee bit ticked off. In my haste to leave after taking some pictures I accidentally took a picture of my foot walking. I thought it was kind of cool looking.

This one should probably be first since its right before the sun popped over the lake's edge. So pretty.
I saw a rainbow today!! It hadn't even rained! After I saw that I took some deep breathes and calmed down about the whole getting up waaaay too early.

My early morning pictures made me sooo happy when i put them on my comp this morning. Since I'm just sitting around being bored they are the perfect thing to brighten up my day. I hope to show more pictures on this blog since I can send them really easily now.

OH yeah! I got Jewel's new CD on Tuesday. I love it so much I've listened to it non-stop since Wed. All the Sociology Dept has been getting a taste of Jewel since I've even taken to listening to her at work (really quiet of course so I can hear the phone still of course).

This weekend Paul and I are going to see X-Men. Muchos excitement all around. Then on Saturday we're having his big b-day party. I'm not sure how well its going to go over. I'm kind of worried because his friends seem like they're all being rather wishy-washy about the whole thing. It doesn't help that Brandon has a girlfriend now who is like attached to his hip...or should I say penis? She's not hte nicest girl and I feel bad since I don't know her very well but she won't let anyone get close to Brandon or talk to him without getting protective, jealous or something along those lines. The worst part is when we tell him he could do better, find someone who treats him better, he says I know. Anyway, Paul is so excited about his party and everyone else is just like yeah, whatever. But then again, thats how they tend to do things here so what do I know? I'm excited though. We're going to sleep in the car Saturday because at least one of us will be very drunk and the other might be drunk or at the very least too tired to drive. Shall be a good tiem. Can't forget blankets!! :)

Hmm. I don'te really know what to day. I'm very content right now. i've got rent due and utilites, but I have the cash so thats all well and good. Its sunny out and I feel like a cat with her milk. COmpletely satisfied.

Ooo I'm going to write Paul a love letter and mail it to him soon. I yellow-paged his address...which let me tell you is so freaking creepy. I could have bought a background check on his Dad for like 20.00 dollars. for some reason that seems wrong. Bit yeah I'm so excited about writing this letter though. I've always dreamed of having that old box of love letters to show my daoughter/granddaughter. And to look at myself. I love letters too. I just hope he decides to write me back. Even if he doesn't though, I think I'll keep doing it. Simply because I like doing it.

Well thats it for right now I think. Happy June to all!