Monday, November 07, 2005

Road Trip!!

Haha not really...well sort of, I don't know. Two hours doesn't seem like a long time when it takes 8 to get home. Anyway, thats really not the point I'm aiming for here. The point I'm going for is that I went driving to to Tech this weekend to see my beloved, Paul. And I had such a good time. I finally have faces and personalities to put with people that he talks about all the time. And they are all such great people, not hta tI wan't expecting that. Truth be told I was soooo nervous. As in, stomach tied up in knots for most of friday when I go there. I mean, you refriends are closer to his family sometimes and I just so much wanted to fit in, at least a little bit. And I did! His friends, are just as nice and fun as he had described them to me, and from what he told me online, they like me too! I guess they told him that he shouldn't give me up, and I told him that I agree. I love him so.

Oh, to leave the one you love. As I mentioned, watching him walk away was hard...leaving him though, was the hardest thing ever. I had to practically throw myself into the car to avoid falling apart. And I literally mean I was close to tears, as I have ever beeen in my life over a person. I mean, its a week, but its damn hard to leave him. And then to pull away. My heart aches now, just thinking about it. I mean, I was walking down the hallway tonight and I had this strange empty feeling that I couldn't quite put my finger one (I was "home" around all the people I know and love here at school why did I feel alone?) and then I realized, I didn't have Paul walking with me, talking to me holding my hand, chasing me while trying to pat my behind (long story...short version: everybody gets them if they bend over near him, I ge them just because he can and i let him) or tickle me. I was missing his nearness. It sucks. It sucks sucks sucks. I left him a love letter though. I know he got it because I told him where to find it when I talked to him online, well sorta. He found a pair of my shorts nad I told him to check under his pillow to make sure I didn't leave anything there either. So I know he'll find it since I left it under his pillow. I'm a nerd. I know. I just had to do it. I emailed him the post: I could love you. He was really happy. I was amazed to find out that even though we didn't say it to each other till a week later, he had told his friends that same week that I wrote that post that he thought he loved me. Crazy, huh.

Anywho. I'm bedding down because I have a 9 o'clock class and it is now 2 in the am and I should be sleeeeeping!!!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Unknown said...

YAY! lol that is all. i love LOVE because it is just amazing. we're going on 11 months and i can hardly wait for a year, its just so much fun being with her and im glad you're have as much fun :) i would advise having him be the visiter more often lol, especially if its that hard to walk away, but on the up side, it fades a little bit, it gets where its not painful to be separated, it just sucks a little bit, but it makes seeing her again a lotttt better.... ok im done lol


PeLoHa
JAMiN