Mending Fences and Enjoying Life

Ok so I realized that deep deep down I can't hate Jay. I don't know that it is possible for me to trully hate anyone. I have too much love. So I'm using the "Forgive and Remember" Method to get through this one. Yes, I actually picked up something useful after all those religion classes. So I forgave Jay...but its going to be hard. Because I know that we will never have the same relationship as before, and I want that, but that time is past. I can't trust him like I did before, and thats the saddest thing ever. So I'm starting to mend that fence, try to just get to a friendly level again.

On the note about enjoying life...I love college! Dspite having the most shit filled week ever, there was a marvelous weekend at the end of it. Paul came down and I'm happy as a clam. Heehee. I have "name face" as my friends call it...I light up when I hear his name. :D And I was so so so so so so so happy to see him Friday night. I jumped off the radiator and into his arms...and he literally picked me up and swung me around. I ended up with my legs around his waist and kissing his cheek and lips.
Paul: Did you miss me? Me: Yes I did.
There was much hugging and such that progressed...Cortney told us to get a room so I dragged him into my entryway when Timnah walked out of our room...much amusement over the fact that I couldn't wait long enough to get further into the room before attacking him...I'll not apologize...I miss the man when its a week between sightings (and he didn't mind, so there). So after that he stayed for a half hour during which we were with other people so we had to restrict oursleves to hand holding and quick pecks.. (mmm I like quick pecks). So he left because he had plans with his friend Brandon...reminder to comment on their own unique humor with each other...and I stayed here at the dorm.

Well after that I went to "wreak havoc before quiet hours start" and ended up in the lobby with Cortney and Emily and playing euchre with in the lobby. Euchre turned into a loud game of Pencil Pig (which is just Spoons played with unsharpened pencils and spelling pig till you get out). I got out of Pencil Pig within three rounds after stating proudly that I had no letters...oh how the proud fall (heehee). So I went back upstairs to get some juice with full intentions of coming back to continue watching the game...but I go tdistracted and talked to Marc and his suitemate for a couple hours. Then Cortney and Emily and Pat came up. Pat had a sip of Captain Morgan's left in a cup he had and he gave it to me. After which I remeinded him that he owed me a stiff drink (he told me this on Tues when I was up till 3:30 helping him with his english paper which caused me to miss my 9:00am class the next day...also becaus emy week as previously mentioned was being shitty) so anyway. He went back downstairs and brought me and Cortney and himslef each a shot of Capttains and Coke. So drank mine (muchos better than beer) and then Cortney's because she didn't want it and then the last half of Pat's...the total equivilant of 3 shots...I was getting loopy. THe concentration was shot an dI was starting to really really enjoy swaying. So I decided tha tI might as well go to bed. So I did. Not without first swining on my loft from the bed frame and first ladder rung ( oy it was fun...and probably funny as ...well I can imagine it was funny).

Saturday was spent in attempt to do homework. I actually read most of what I wanted to read for The Iliad. Then I went to this stupid FYE dance thing...well ok, it would probably have beenok except that it was mandatory and I had to be there till 10:30 to get credit and I wanted to hang out with Paul so. So Paul picked me up at 10:30 and we went to go to this party. Oh boy. I saw sooooo much of the landscape that night. The place we were going to should have taken us about 45 minutes to find...we drove for 3 1/2 and never found it. We found many back roads that led to nowhere, but thats it. Finally, we just pulled over to wait for Brandon to come find us...I like pulling off to the side of the road...it inspires rather ardous feelings in folks...heehee. But outside of that I would like to say that the stars were absolutely amazing. I could actually see that dusty milky way line that you see in the planetariums...I was so excited. Paul was amused because I when he turned off the car and its lights I said, Its dark. He responded with, Thats what happens when you turn off the lights. Oy. It was really really dark, like, can't see your hand in front of your face dark. It doesn't get that dark where I'm from. Well at about 3:00am we're both like ok we're tired screw this lets just go home and go to bed (did I forget to mention that I was staying at his house, where he grew up, for the night?). No lie, as soon as we start up the car Brandon calls to say that everyone was at the highschool and hte party was over, Paul's like sorry we're going home to bed g'night. I have to say I was glad, I really was tired, plus I like having him all to myself ;).

So we went back to his house where I met his fraternal twin brother...who looks nothing like Paul but their personalities are almost identical...you can so tell they are twins and grew up together. We stayed up with him (his name is Todd for the record) for a while and then finally went to bed...twin beds are so cozy. I love lseeping with him...ok I won't lie we did a bit more than sleep...but I was good I swear, Paul is a gentleman, at all times. It makes me so happy, he doesn't try anythig until I'm ready...and somehow he's known when I'm ready...its nice. SO we then went to sleep. Woke up (he said he wished he could wake up next to me everyday...that makes me so happy, I feel the same way). Got out of bed. Met Paul's mom...oh God its awkward to meet someone's mother after staying the night in her son's bed without her knowledge that either of you are there. She's really nice though. I liked her a lot. Ummm the rest of the day was just idyllic. We watched football on the couch with Todd and his girlfriend Jamie and then played foot/basket ball outside. It was fun and simple and I loved it. After dinner Paul drove me back to my dorms. He stayed here for about an hour and a half...heehee we are very easily distracted by empty rooms that happen to be mine. Anywho, he finally did have to go back to Tech after much pushing and kissing and goodbye-ing...Cortney and Pat were laughing at us. I was laughing at us, it was silly and sweet.

So yeah, I had a good weekend, this is a long post and Paul is online... :)

~*Ery*~