Summer Lovin'

I love Grease! I've been listening to my Grease CD in the car the last few days. It reminds me of high school. I still remeber when I bought it. Jackie, Nancy, Ann and I all went across the state for the day to visit Jackie's current boyfriend. We had amazing bagels for breakfast, watched Troy (yummy, Brad Pitt butt), and went to this little CD place. WHere I found the Gresse soundtrack for really cheap. It was used, but it's in a amazing condition.

Lots of Love,

~*Ery*~

Date Time!

So on Wednesday I went to the circus. It was sooo much fun! I can't remember the last time I went to the circus. There weren't really any clowns though, which made me sad. Oh well. I liked the people who went up on this swing thing then they jumped off into a big piece of...hmmm I'm not sure what to call it. It was like a net but not really. Kind of like a long piece of fabric. Anyway it was nifty.

And on Saturday Paul and I had a mini date night. We were supposed to go to dinner and a movie but he got off work to late to do the movie. So we just went and had dinner at this awesome brewery/restaurant downtown. The food was incredible and Paul was so excited about being in a brewery. He loves the whole "homemade" beer thing. So he bought a 1/2 gallon jug of their blonde ale to take home. The best part is the bottle looks like its full of moonshine and you can get it refilled for like 9 bucks! That's really cheap.

So on Sunday, since we couldn't go see our movie on Saturday night we went on Sunday afternoon. It was a great day. We hung out all day and just enjoyed being with each other. Its been a while since we both had a day off. We slept late and watched movies and food network. MMM food network. It made us hungry so we ate mac and cheese with boiled hot dogs. Heehee.

THat's life right now. I need to go to the laundromat because I 'm all out of underwear as of this morning. And I just finished an amazing book! I read "The Red Tent" for the second time and loved it again.

Lots of Love,
~*Ery*~

Check Please!

Well I'm here at work and I can't for the life of me find the form I'm supposed to be typing on. I must say this is rather frustrating since this is really the only real responsibility I've been given for a whole three days. I've got the computer doing its search thing-y and its not finding anything...well actually its found quite a lot but not the Check Request form I need.

Plus, I'm really hungry. I'm working until 4pm and all I brought was a little bowl of ramen noodles. Its 11am! I can't eat yet! Ooo maybe if I eat now I can go home around noon and have a sandwich during my actual lunch hour. Hmmm.

Yaay Soup!

And I found the form. Turns out it was sitting on the desk the whole time hiding in a paper cliped stack of paper. The day is looking up! If not sunnier. It rained last night (thank God, we need the rain) and its still looking cloudy. Maybe it will rain again .

Lots of love,

~*Ery*~

Something or Other

I don't know why I'm so gosh darn bad at this. I guess part of it comes from not doing it in so long and not wanting to recap in a long post. Its not completely necessary to recap everything I guess. Main points are usually good enough. I want to post. I think about it sometimes. Then I just don't. I guess I just get bored with whatever it is I was going to write about.

I moved in with Paul, officially, this weekend. Wow. I'm scared. Just getting that out there. He's not, or at least he says he's not. He never asks me about it and that makes me sad. There are a lot of things he doesn't ask about.

That seems to be a main dilemma for me. Paul doesn't question anything. Meanwhile I love questions and knowing what is going on and it drives him crazy. So I end up not questioning anything and feeling unsatisfied and he's right as rain. I really want to bring it up, but he shuts me out as soon as I even think about discussing something with him that he may have a different opinion on. Every discussion isn't a bad one. One of the first things I learned in my argumentation class this semester is that we (people) argue for lots of reasons, only some of them out of anger. The others are used to make decisions or just for the fun of disagreeing on something in an amiable way. Grrr. I don't know how to bring this up.

It worries me that I can ask him as many questions about "personal, male things" but as soon as I try to find out how he's feeling about something, he doesn't want to talk to me about it. I guess to be fair I never really tell him when something is bothering me, I pout quite a bit. Maybe that's part of the problem. If I said, right away, that his actions were upseting me, or that I have something on my mind that I'd like to talk about sometime, maybe he'd be more open to talking to me. Again, to be fair, its not like he doesn't talk to me ever, its just that its more of a when-its-convenient-for-him kind of thing.

Well that was a lovely little rant.

I guess I'm happy. Maybe I'm just on a little mood swing right now.

Which reminds me...I've been tracking my cycle and I'm excited! I like knowing what's going on so much!! I feel like I'm finally getting in touch with myself as a woman, which I know sounds really cheesy, but its the truth. Its cool to be following along and knowing when I'm going to get moody and when I'll be peppy as can be. I guess deep down I feel like I'm connecting with something older than myself. I mean, this is something that has been going on for generations and centuries and millenia and I'm part of it and I'm aware of that now. Instead of dreading and not being sure what exactly is going on I'm able to identify with millions of women throughout the ages.

Lots of Love,

~*Ery*~

20 Days later

I've been having trouble writing lately. I just don't know how to put wha tI'm thinking into words. Its really a strange dilemma. WEll anyway. I've got a good amount of things going on right now.

I went to Toronto for MUN. IT was good fun, but let me tell you: its cold in Toronto in February. Now I know that might seem like common sense, but when, for some reason, I believed the weather report of 40 degrees ...I decided to pack very few clothes. ANd the clothes tha tI packed weren't conducive to extreme winds chill or snow. Ick. Outside of that it was a good time. My committee was really fun and we had a lot of really smart people in teh group that contributed a lot. I dind't get an award, which would have been nice, but i did get several compliments from people in ECOFIN (my committee) that they felt I should have gotten some recognition. One of the really interesting things while I was there was this guy from Boston was totally hitting on me. I had to pull the "Boyfriend Card". Meaning that I had to casually bring up Paul while trying to act like that I didn't realize that I had actually just cock-blocked him. Oy. The politics of male and female interactions. Its really an interesting line. I odn't feel like discussing it right now, but perhaps in the future.

I've got my resume all over the city right now. I'm looking for a summer/next fall job and i've already had one interview. Its with an answering service company. I don't know if I even want to work there but the pay is really good for the area. It would look pretty good on my resume since they require at least one year of work and I'd have plenty of proof as to being able to handle customers. I don't know if I'm even going to get the job, but I've got my fingers crossed.

I haven't seen Paul in a week. How much does that suck?? I mean, we live 5 minutes away from each other and somehow in the last two days neither of us has had the time to see one another. I wouldn't mind wo much if I had at the very least heard his voice or something. But we haven't even been able to talk on the phone since my phone was roaming the whole time I was out of state. I wish we had talked yesterday, but I was too tired to call and tonite we had a date scheduled, but he procrastinated all weekend and had to do homework. I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little peeved about that. I mean, I was out of town for 4 days and at now point does he do any homework. He just lets it build up and then does it all the night we're supposed to hang out. I understand he has homework, but still. He knew when we would have time to hang out and he missed the opportunity. Oh well I guess.

THat's a quick overview. It kind of sucks a a blog entry but I feel like I should, at the very least, try to update once a month so things don't get too out of hand and then require lots of explaining.

Lots of Love,
~*Ery*~

I've been having trouble writing lately. I just don't know how to put wha tI'm thinking into words. Its really a strange dilemma. WEll anyway. I've got a good amount of things going on right now.

I went to Toronto for MUN. IT was good fun, but let me tell you: its cold in Toronto in February. Now I know that might seem like common sense, but when, for some reason, I believed the weather report of 40 degrees ...I decided to pack very few clothes. ANd the clothes tha tI packed weren't conducive to extreme winds chill or snow. Ick. Outside of that it was a good time. My committee was really fun and we had a lot of really smart people in teh group that contributed a lot. I dind't get an award, which would have been nice, but i did get several compliments from people in ECOFIN (my committee) that they felt I should have gotten some recognition. One of the really interesting things while I was there was this guy from Boston was totally hitting on me. I had to pull the "Boyfriend Card". Meaning that I had to casually bring up Paul while trying to act like that I didn't realize that I had actually just cock-blocked him. Oy. The politics of male and female interactions. Its really an interesting line. I odn't feel like discussing it right now, but perhaps in the future.

I've got my resume all over the city right now. I'm looking for a summer/next fall job and i've already had one interview. Its with an answering service company. I don't know if I even want to work there but the pay is really good for the area. It would look pretty good on my resume since they require at least one year of work and I'd have plenty of proof as to being able to handle customers. I don't know if I'm even going to get the job, but I've got my fingers crossed.

I haven't seen Paul in a week. How much does that suck?? I mean, we live 5 minutes away from each other and somehow in the last two days neither of us has had the time to see one another. I wouldn't mind wo much if I had at the very least heard his voice or something. But we haven't even been able to talk on the phone since my phone was roaming the whole time I was out of state. I wish we had talked yesterday, but I was too tired to call and tonite we had a date scheduled, but he procrastinated all weekend and had to do homework. I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little peeved about that. I mean, I was out of town for 4 days and at now point does he do any homework. He just lets it build up and then does it all the night we're supposed to hang out. I understand he has homework, but still. He knew when we would have time to hang out and he missed the opportunity. Oh well I guess.

THat's a quick overview. It kind of sucks a a blog entry but I feel like I should, at the very least, try to update once a month so things don't get too out of hand and then require lots of explaining.

Lots of Love,
~*Ery*~

Dreaming

Dreams. Interesting things really. I've always wondered if they mean something or if its a whole bunch of mumbo jumbo that some crazed psychologists have put together. Funny way of putting that: "crazed psychologists". Well in any case. I've been dreaming recently and though I wouldn't call them nightmares, they aren't exactly pleasant dreams either. So I will describe them here.

1st Dream ~ Last thursday
I was going to a church. I thnk it was for a baptism or something. One way once I got there I realized that I wasn't there for a baptism, I was there for my graduation. Paul was there but he was sullen about it. That wasn't the biggest concern, though. The biggest concern was I was dressed in red and black when I was supposed to be wearing white. So I had to go home really fast to change. Paul said he'd drive me. So the two of us, and a whole bunch of other people (one of whom happened to be a girl who lives in my hall, Betsy). all get in his car and drive away. For somereason though, as soon as we get within a mile of my house he stops and parks teh car. He said it would be faster if we walked, which makes no sense because tehre wasn't any traffic to slow us down. As soon as we get out of the car I'm engulfed in this feeling of panic and all I can think about is being late for graduation. We walk into this house (not mine) and there are people inside. Paul and Betsy want to meet them, despite me continually telling them we have to leave and that I'm going to be late. When we finally get out of the house we are running down the side of a road and I can just feel time whizzing by as we run instead of drive. I'm paniced and my heart is beating fast. Then I wake up.

2nd Dream ~ Last night
Paul and I are up at Tech for Carnival. We are walking around in this big building and everyone keeps looking at us. I havethis heavy feeling, like I'm going somewhere or about to do something thatI'm not completely comfortable with doing. All of aa suddeen I just "know" that after we get back to our bedroom Paul and I are going to have sex for the first time...and everyone knows. As soon as I'm aware of that fact I can seee that people keep looking at us and smiling. Like they know something we don't. I start to feel almost sick to my stomach. We get back to our bedroom (which happens to be my room at school), and there is a man there reading passages out of the Bible. The room is dim but there is a sort of sickly yellow light coming fromt eh man reading. Paul starts to kiss me and all I can think is:"I'm not ready, why are we doing this, why does everyone know?" His mouth is too hot, and it feels like I have a pool of near boiling water just sitting on my tongue. I feel trapped, and like I can't change a decision that I made before this instant. Then I wake up.

3rd Dream ~ Last night (after 2nd dream)
I'm at my house. For some reason I've been put in charge of finding players for our flag football intermural team. Unfortunately its coed and I can't find any men who would like to play. i'm rushing around, racing against time trying to find some men who would like to play. I finally manage to get three guys together and then I can't get anyone together to actually get going to the game. My friend Katie isn't motivated and the other girl on our team (Jodi Sweetin, Stephanie from Full House) is giving herself a french manicure. Like the first dream I'm completely frustrated and paniced about being late. My throat is tight and my heart is pounding. I finally get everyone outside the house and I realize we are at my house back home. My mom drives up to take us to the field and as we run down the stairs my neighobr, ROy who is about 6, come sprintin over to me. He holds up a yellow worm and starts screaming "Look Ery!! Look at my worm!!!" I tell him that I can't look right now and he tackles me so I will look at his worm. I look at it and then get in the car. My mom informs me that we'll be at the game in 5 minutes as long as the weather doesn't get bad. As soon as she stops talking the skies open up and starting pouring rain. Then I wake up.

I wish I knew what these meant.

Lots of Love
~*Ery*~

Friday Night TV

I'm sitting in Paul's apartment, watching TV with his brother and buddy Thomas. We've been doing this since abut 5pm and I'm a little tired of sitting around and watching a whole lot of testosterone on TV. Not to say that I haven't enjoyed the shows we've watched so far ( Man vs. Wild is a freaking cool show) but we haven't done anything today. On the other hand, I don't really have any money so I don't really want to go out and spend any cash right now. Oh well.

Things are bette than what I was stressing about the last time I wrote. I don't know why I got so weird, it just sort of happened. I worry too much. I'm not sure why. For instance, Paul and I were talking about going up to Tech for a winter festival they have every year. Even though the school has some real activities planeed (such as snow statue building, I'll include pictures next week) the real "focus" of events, at least for many students, is to get as drunk as possible and then stay that way till Sunday evening. This worries me. I'm so frightened of one of the people i'm with getting alcohol, especially Paul. For some reason he doesn't understand why this bothers me so much. It just does. I'm so scared that something will happen to him. I can't predict the future, if I could maybe I wouldn't worry to much...or maybe I'd worry all the more.

I'm so excited for Model UN. I had to go back and see if I had talked about it yet...and since I only mentioned it once that means I get to just go to town on it. Model UN is pretty much exactly what it sounds like. Its a group that meets and puts on a model United Nations conference. A whole bunch of college students get together and discuss a varitey of topics. At my school we "train" for this in two different ways. In the fall semester we meet as an extra-curricular group that gets together on Thursdays to practice writing resolutions and debating in proper parliamentary order. In the winter semester we meet as a political science class (for 2 credits!) and learn from peer teachers. The upside to doing it this way is there are credits involved and more people take it as a class than in the group. The downside is there is homework and quizzes, not so fun.

In the fall we go to Chicago, IL and have the conference in a hotel. But in the Winter we go to Toronto and hold the conference at U of T. I'm so excited to go in February. Its going to be so much fun. Its so interesting to get together and discuss things with intelligent people. especially when, in reality, it doesn't mean all that much to anyone at all. This semester I'm representing the United Kingdom. They are so involved in so many things. So I'm excited to go to Toronto and have a good time. Wee!

Um. I guess that's it. Oh wait! I've been doing yoga throughout the week and took class again on Tuesday. It's so much fun. And I already feel more comfortable and have a little better posture. Yea!

Ok now I'm truly finished.

Lots of Love,
~*Ery*~

Yoga

I did yoga today! Yea! I went to the PEIF today with Erin and Leah. It was fun. Mostly because I got to do yoga! I like doing yoga. It always makes me feel so relaxed and energized all at the same time. Ummm that's probably the onely thing I have to day about today.

Oh and I miss Paul. Which is strange considering that we're so close now. Like I didn't talk to him last night on the phone. And we havn't really talked on the phone in a while. Even though we aren't seening each other every day. I don't like it. And today he's had an away message up that says he's in class but the last classes for the day ar eover by 9:20 and he only has a late class on Thursday anyway so I don't understand where he could be. And I don't know why he wouldn't answer his phone. I think I'm feeling paranoid for some weird reason. Not paranoid like he's cheating or anything, because I know he wouldn't do something like that. But just worried about why he isn't interested in contacting me at all. Like I'll leave him messages on email, facebook, and AIM and he doesn't return any of them. I don't think anything's wrong but I don't know and I don't want to ask and I don't want to let him know that I'm feeling like this. But I don't like the way things are moving either. I feel like we aren't talking and I'm sad. I miss him.


Lots of Love
~*Ery*~

A New Year

I want my textbooks! I ordered textbooks off amazon.com last thursday and i've only received one so far! And of course it the one I need least of all.

This was a ... good first week of classes. Man though, my schedule is kind of crazy. Mondays and Wednesdays I've got classes and work for 11 hours total. But Tuesdays and Thursdays I don't work more than 5 hours and no classes at all. Friday - Sunday I've got nothing at all! I don't know if I like it or hate it. One good thing is that I have plenty of time on my Tues, and Thurs. to take care of things on and off campus. Things like donating plasma and homework.

I'm so not excited about having to start giving plasma again. I don't konw if I've explained plasma yet but here goes. There is this center near my school that is there for people to donate blood plasma for phamacies to use in medicines. The reason its such a big deal though is that they pay for the plasma. Well actually, they pay for the time it takes to give the plasma. Its illegal to pay money for bodily fluids, or really any part of your body ( a little thing called prostitution, ya know?). Its actually not that bad. They stick you with a needle and then you sit there for an hour as they they take blood out, spin it, and then return the blood cells (minus the plasma) back to you through the same needle. They repeat this process several times over the course of the hour. There's not really any pain, its just kind of uncomfortable and annoying. Mostly because I thought I was past the point of having to go there for money (Its pretty good, $200 if you do it twice a week for a month). My lack of a job over break has left me nearly penniless with bills and things piling up. I hate money. Its annoying.

This weekend was pretty good. Paul and I hung out with a couple that he's know since he was a kid. They're fun. We went out to this really good Creole place in town. And then we watched some movies. Ooo! Watched "Conversation(s) with other women" Which was pretty cool. It was shot in a split screen and its about past lovers who meet again years later. I loved it!

now I'm all sore from going to the PEIF the next day and starting to actually get back in shape. My butt hurts. And that's the result of a year of nothing.

Went to church tonight. Sarah (the roomie) came with. I was really excited because over and over she's talked about how she doesn't really like Catholic masses for one reason or another. So when she said she would go tonight I was excited. But then we left and she mentioned that she felt out of place and Paul noted that she wasn't alone. I felt really bad. I mean, I thought that I had been pretty open about gong to different churches with him and letting him know that if he had any questions he could come to me about them...but apparently he's still uncomfortable. I don't know what it is. Like, maybe he just isn't a church person. I love going to church, but maybe he just doesn't enjoy it like I do. *Shurg* I guess its something tha tI'l lhave to talk to him about.

Now I'm walking "Strong Medicine" instead of going to bed. I don't really feel like going to sleep yet, plus I love this show. Ok... I think i'm done rambling for a bit.

Lots of Love,
~*Ery*~

Winter Semester

Dum dum di dum. So yeah here I am again. Sitting in my dorm room. not doing anything and just waiting for classes to start. I'm so ready for new classes to start. Its like a new leaf, everything starts all over again. A clean slate. I love that feeling. And it coincides perfectly with the New Year and everything.

I'm reading a book right now about female empowerment. Its making me think a lot about how women look at our selves and how we cut ourselves down more than anyone else does. I want to try really hard this year to think of myself as fine and perfect the way I am. Its going to be hard though because my suitemates and I have decided to work out this semester and try to eat healthier. The only thing I'm worried about is that I'm not going to focus on health and not my actual size. I have to remember that I don't need to lose weight, just get healthier.

Wow I've got nothing to really talk about here. I'm just kind of bored. I went to the library and got a book but I couldn't check it out because of course I've got a fine so my account is locked up so I can't check out any books. Oh well, I'll pay it eventually.

I just had a strange thought about bouquets. Its interesting how right now when I go to a wedding I want to catch the bouquet, but then at the same time I don't want to actually catch it because I don't know what in the world I would do with it. I mean the bouquet has all the implications attached and I want those implications. WOohoo married. But I so don't want the ooo you caught the bouquet. And I don't want to look lik eI want to catch the bouquet. But I really do. Just to say I caught it. And then, I don't know, maybe save it? Ah well. Just a ramndom thought.

~*Ery*~

Winter

Snow is finally falling! Well we had snow before Christmas but not its falling again after a long month of zero snow.

I'm at Paul's Apt. right now waiting for him to get back from the PEIF (Physical Education Instructional Facility). His brother Todd and his girlfriend Jaimi are coming over soon and we're going to eat pizza! Yea pizza. Its interesting being here by myself. I mean, I don't live here, yet (come May and I move in too!) so its strange. Plus its al empty and un lived in because they haven't completely moved in yet. Like there is now dining room table or cable anywhere so its a lot of just sitting around upstairs because downstairs in teh dining/lioving area there isn't really much to do. At least up here there are computers and movies and video games. And sleeping. You can sleep in bedrooms. Yeah I'm a little bored. I felt the urge to write last night but I'm glad I didn't because I was trully just feeling rather PMS-y and was oddly depressed about my relationship. Which really isn't the case. I'm really happy with Paul and all his best parts and worst parts. I love all of him I just had a serious mistrust in myself last night. Like I was going over and over in my head why I should just not be thereat the moment and how my life was going somewhere I didn't want it to . But the truth is I like very much where my life is going. I've made this p;ath. I like that i can sleep next to my boyfriend at night. I like that in under five months we'll be living together. What I don't like are my weak moments of panic. I hate that feeling. That 'Oh no what has happened, what am I doing, how can I fix it?' feeling. Its stupid. I know that if at one of those weak moments I were to break up with him or something the next day or next minute I would fall apart. We complete each other so nicely it would be like a part of me just fell off. Why can't I wrap my brain around it? I don't know. I've pretty much taken a wait-and-see attitude about these next upcoming weeks. Its such a transitional time for the both of us. Not only is he at a new schoool with a new major. We are both dealing with actually having a traditional close distance relationship. We've never had that. I know we'll have to be careful about a lot of things like how much time we spend together and making sure neither of us stifles the other persons wants and interests. but I've decided to just deal with that sort of thing when, and if, it comes up. I mean, how can you fix something if it hasn't even broken yet? IT doesn't make any sense. Granted, when something does happen we both have to be concious to tell the other person and just fix it. I just hope we both come out stronger at the end of this. I know we will. I just need to start remembering that when I can't fall asleep at night.

Well that was long and rambling and I'm sorry for the lack of paragraphs, I just kind of free wrote whatever came to mind so I'm not really sure where to put them now. Plus I don't want to go over it right now becaus eI'll probably delete it instead of just publishing it like I really want to do.

~*Ery*~

Back "Home"

Home. What is home? I was watching Garden State (looooove that movie by the way) last week and the main character said something very interesting about what home is. And so I went on IMDB.com and found the qupte because really I love it and its kind of how I feel...so here it is:

Andrew Largeman: You know that point in your life when you realize that the house that you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of the sudden even though you have some place where you can put your stuff that idea of home is gone.

Sam: I still feel at home in my house.

Andrew Largeman: You'll see when you move out it just sort of happens one day one day and it's just gone. And you can never get it back. It's like you get homesick for a place that doesn't exist. I mean it's like this rite of passage, you know. You won't have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for you kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle or something. I miss the idea of it. Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people who miss the same imaginary place.

That's how I always feel when I come "home". I mean, I pretty much live at school, so its really strange to say that I'm at home when I go back to where I grew up. And the thing I've noticed recently is that when I talk about going back to school i'll say something similar to: Then Paul is going to come down for a week and he's going to be driving me back home." And then I correct myself and say school. Mostly because I don't want to offend any of my friends and family down here. But I feel like I've already hit the part of my "home cycle" that involves making a new home apart from the place where I grew up. I've made reference to this when I talk about coming to my childhood home. I say I miss the people but I could have them anywhere. Like if all my friends came to visit me occasionaly then I wouldn't be homesick. Or I miss something silly, like the mall (we have a cruddy mall at school so I guess this doesn't really count as homesickness, more like strange materialism). But I live without the mall just fine. I don't need it. *Shrug* its strange. I think its all just a part of growing up. I like growing up.

So yup, as the title suggests I'm back at "home". I've seen quite a few friends a a teacher or two since returning. My friends really want me to go out with them tonight to go to the clubs. I'm not really sure I want to though. Mostly because I don't want to go out without Paul. For a few reasons:
a) I don't want him to feel like I'm having all kinds of fun without him and that I don't really miss him, because I can go out without him (a silly reason really because he's going to a concert tonight anyway so its not like he has any good arguement)
b) I don't want to drink without him because he's really the only person I trust enough to watch me when I drink. He is very concious (always) of how much I consume and knows exactly when to cut me off. I love my friends, but I don't trust them with this.
c) I hate going out dancing without him because somehow some random guy always ends up pressed up against me and I have to extricate myself from him. I hate that about clubs (at least as an attached person I do...loved it when I was single), if you aren't already attached to someone, there is someone who will jump on you and take advantage of the fact that you are alone. I always feel like a cold person when I'm like "ugh get off" but I can't dance with some other guy! Number 1 I don't want to and number 2 it makes me feel like a dirty cheater.

So my thought is I might just bring it up with Paul today when I talk to him on the phone and just see what he thinks about it, and maybe I'll just set something else up with a group of people I know (because that's another reason I don't want to go...I'll only know two people there, and I'd so much rather go with a hige bunch of pepole I'm good friends with) and we'll all go out together when Paul is here visitng. That way, all my friends will be satisfied that I went out with them, and I won't have to feel bad about abandoning Paul or feeling dirty. Hmmm yes, think that's going to my course of action.

My puppy is cute.

I don't really have anything to do today. I had it all planned out and then my dad came up with this hare-brained scheme about dropping him off and picking everyone up and what not. Actually that's not the hare-brained part. The hare-brained part is that he still has the car and I'm sitting here putting of my plans (shower, breakfast, library) while I wait for him to show. I should just call him. Ah well.

Lots of love,
~*Ery*~

P.S. Paul signed a year lease on a townhouse (apartment) yesterday!! And the search is over!!!!

Clean My Room

I need to clean my room. Woohoo Now I'm off to look at extra apartments for Paul.

~*Ery*~

Finals Week

Oh thank goodness. All my finals are finished! Yea! Now the only thing I have to worry about is work, packing, and finding Paul an apartment. Man. I wish that list was shorter. Well the work thing isn't too frustrating since its not hard or anything but its time. PAcking is something I hate and just don't want to do. And the apartment thing just sucks. We had one all set up and then everything fell through. Boo. Now we have to put applications in all over the place and its getting frustrating trying to think about getting him in a place for next semester that will either let him out of the lease by May or will let me move in by May. I don't know. I just don't want to have to worry about it anymore. I want it to be done and have him moved in and have him close already. Ah well its all going to work out I just know it will. Because I want it too so that's how its going to be.

Watching Fresh Prince of BelAir. Woohoo!

I'm so ready to be going home. I need some time not living with 300 other people. I love everyone so much but sometime I just need some time off.

Guess I'm ready to make myself some Ramen and then go to bed. Mmmm salty delicious noodles from the microwave.

~*Ery*~

HP 200

Soooo I'm sitting in class. HP 200. A required class for college that is pretty much a high school health class with a ton of homework and powerpoint. Its really interesting, I swear (noooo).

Hmmm I've been doing a lot just sittin garound lately. I'm really excited, as I've stated many ties, that I'm so excited for Paul to start here in the Winter semester. We're going to start going to work out together. I hope just having him around will kind of motivate me, plus I think it will be fun to go and get all worn out and sweaty together (heehee, it sounds dirty). i'm a little scared though. Like usually its fine, but sometimes I worry about us being so close, I mean we've never been around each other so much before. I mean its going to work out, I know that much, but I still get worried about it sometimes. Strangely enough though I'm really excited and not really worried at all about us moving in together. I know its going to be fine so I guess its just the transitional time that I don't like. *Sigh*

Ok, class is just about done so adios!

~*Ery*~

Danse du Ventre

"Call me Xena: I am a strong, fearless woman.
Call me Salome; I was a dangerous child.
Call me Jezebel, Zenobia, Cleopatra; I hear you calling me “powerful queen”.
Call me Lilith, Isis, Ishtar: I honor the Divine in all things.
Call me Scarlet Woman because you fear me when I bleed without dying
Call me Painted Woman; I only wear the glamour of beauty. Truth is on the inside.
Call me any name you choose. You only link me to every woman who ever lived.”

~ A poem in response to another woman's poem about being a Belly dancer (capital B) ~

I got a flu shot today! Now I'm feeling really tired and kind of funny in the tummy. This could all be the power of suggestion though, so who knows.

I'm going to a semi-formal Christmas party on Dec. 27th and I'm really excited!!!

I went to Chicago for four days and it was pretty much the most amazing thing ever! Yea for Model UN!

I love Paul.

I want to visit Paul this weekend but I can't find a ride :(. Yea for him being at my school next year!

I don't really feel like writing too much right now but that's a good little update for a while.

~*Ery*~

Little Baby Flies

There are little baby flies zooming around in my room. Not that my room is dirty but these little flies are everywhere. I don't think they are actually baby flies, more like little flies, but they are frustrating me. They'll float innocently right by me and then when I go to smoosh them they veer suddenly. Boo on you flies.

Feeling pretty good today. Paul and I had a great weekend. We went to his house and carved pumpkins. I can't wait to see the pictures of them all lit up, I'm pretty sure mine was the best I've ever done. Then we came back from his house and hiked the mountain/overgrown hill by school. It was so pretty up there. This is one of my favorite pictures. That is (obviously) Paul standing next to "BART" Bart is some guy who was an engineer and they put this pile of rocks on the top of the outlook. I'm not sure why but that's how it goes. It was such a gorgeous day!

After our marvelous little walk we came back to my room and took a little snuggle nap. I love sleep! Especially with him. Mmmm I can't wait until he's here in January. Snuggling abound. And then for summer. I haven't written this out yet but we're going to get a place together in the summer. We figure that outside of wanting to live with each other, it makes more sense financially then paying two rents, two sets of utilities and stocking two kitchens. Plus together we have quite an assortment of things. Dressers, desks, queen bed (him I loooove that bed, so roomy), lamps. Plus I can't wait to be able to wake up next to him everday and talk to him all the time. Just to be able to sit in a living area that is ours and be able to snuggle and be cozy is just so alluring. *Big happy face* Its so crazy seeing how far we've come in the past year. We were talking about it and I told him that I was scared to tell my parents that we were planning on "shacking up" but he pointed out that by the time we do, I'll be 20. Which is nuts! I mean 20!!! That's two decades, I'll feel so wise and old. I know 20 isn't old, but the point is i'll have been a live for a long time.

Right now I'm kind of wasting some time until the website I need starts working again. Silly internet. Lets see. Not much else is going on right now. I sort of tackle-hugged Sarah half an hour ago. I was amused. And it was fun. I think that's all I have to say. I love writing.

Lots of Love,

~*Ery*~

Two Years

Wow. So my blog here is really long. I didn't even realize. I haven't updated in so long its ridiculous. I hate that word, its hard to spell. I'm in teh process of doing laundry right now which sucks because I can't sleep when the laundry is in the machines. Boo.

So on the note of Paul not wanting to be an engineer, its final. He's coming to school here now (yea!!!) and thinking about an English major. I think he'll be so much better suited for it. He's looking for an apt. right now and classes. I'm excited because he asked me to move in with him!! I can't this winter semester because I have to live in the dorms one more semester but in the summer hopefully we'll move in together. Its a big step but I'm really excited to have him so close. There is half a semester and Christmas break still before he's close to me but we'll finally be close enough to see each other during the week, woohoo!!

Sarah is great. She's my roommate and we get along splendidly. She's a little hoity toity about her music and sax stuff, but I just kind of tune her out and keep doing what I'm doing. One of my favorite things about our relationshp compared to last year is we share friends as well as have outside buddies. We also don't spend a ton of time in the room together (aided by the fact that classes aren't being skipped all over the place). I like it so much. Umm Yeah I'm bored so I'm going to stop writing, especially since I have to email Paul some directions.

Lots of Love
~*Ery*~

Arrrrgh

Stupid stupid stupid. My stupid temper.